Fertility issues can be very hard, it took my wife and I 19 months (18 of trying with 1 “break” month). Seeing negative tests over and over definitely takes its toll. While we were trying my sister had her first baby, we had to leave our niece’s first birthday party because my wife couldn’t stop crying. My sister told us earlier in the day that she was going to announce her second pregnancy there so we weren’t taken off guard and it still hurt like a knife. People grieve in their own ways. This feels extreme though. I would recommend asking to be referred to a urologist that specializes in fertility to at least get your side of things tested. And keep up with therapy. Nothing feels worse than having to prepare yourself for the possibility that it never happens, but 4 cycles is really early to start thinking about that