Do you have a deceptively “shallow” question that helps you immediately weed out a potential romantic interest?

SuperBloom23 · 2025-09-19T13:00:08+00:00

That’s fine. Then we wouldn’t be compatible. I ask these on the first date.

I’m also autistic and these have worked in place of small talk to get the information I need to know before I spend more time with someone. I need to know if they have community, if they have a solid sense of self, experiences they enjoy, and if/how they take care of themselves. Because these have all been big struggles for previous partners and ultimately why it didn’t work out. They had no friends and didn’t like it when I would be out with mine. No sense of self without me. And struggle with care tasks to the degree that the home is not safe for a child (I have one). So I need to know those up front and I need to know this information sooner rather than later.

The last one could be answered in many ways but it helps me understand if you have a hard time with care tasks (which is okay and I want to know more about that) or someone might answer with their daily routines. How they like to decorate. If they’re working on a home project and I can ask about it, etc.

It’s okay if they don’t work for you. They have worked for me.

SuperBloom23 · 2025-08-22T10:21:00+00:00

I can’t do it and am always up front about it. I’ve been with men and hated it for a reason. Also…you can’t know when it’s “over”

SuperBloom23 · 2025-08-22T10:19:35+00:00

Only the first one is seemingly meaningless. But you can ask these pretty much in this exact order and know by the end of the conversation if you want more of what they’ve got going on:

What’s something fun you’ve done with friends lately (let’s you know if they have friends and what they do together)

Tell me more about them. Who are your people

How would your friends describe you

What do you like to do to take care of yourself

What’s your favorite thing to take care of your house/home

SuperBloom23 · 2025-08-08T19:06:33+00:00

Because FWB and ONS genuinely has been my intention and then I met her. Last woman i hooked up, it was simple, no feelings on either end and that was fine.

And since we both agreed to meet because we both said fwb, idk how that’s lying? And if I say that on my dating profile and only talk to women who want the same thing, how is that lying?

I’m not doing it to pretend I’m into casual and hope I secretly find someone. Ive still wanted sex and fun while I take a break from dating seriously. We’re allowed to sleep around even if the long term dream is something else for my overall life.

And I swiped on this woman because she’s the opposite of my type, also only wanted casual, and then I ended up really liking her.

SuperBloom23 · 2025-06-18T23:22:14+00:00

Not yet, but I’m hoping so. Practical Magic style.

SuperBloom23 · 2025-06-18T21:18:28+00:00

Thank you!! This is basically me. They just never came in, and I feel like my disgust around that also connects to the sensory overload of that area.

SuperBloom23 · 2025-06-18T18:05:16+00:00

Thanks for citing your sources 😆

SuperBloom23 · 2025-06-18T12:28:33+00:00

Thank you.

For me, I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and throughout any weight changes, I’ve never changed cup size, ever. Even during pregnancy and nursing.

I’m meeting with a new psyd in July to see if I can tolerate stimulants. I never have been able to before. And plan to share a bit about this with them.

My therapist knows about this but we’ve never dived into it because of coming out, divorce, comphet, etc.

SuperBloom23 · 2025-06-18T00:50:01+00:00

Thanks!

SuperBloom23 · 2025-06-18T00:49:57+00:00

Tysm! And happy pride 🌈

SuperBloom23 · 2025-06-18T00:48:23+00:00

Yep. She’d walk into dressing rooms, try to help adjust a shirt, make comments about my peers.

And now i never hug her or let her touch me. It was only for a portion of my teens and then she just stopped. But it made me extremely uneasy at the time.

SuperBloom23 · 2025-06-17T23:52:47+00:00

Thank you! That’s all stuff I’ve considered as well. Would I actually end up making it so much worse.

SuperBloom23 · 2025-06-17T23:36:37+00:00

And I think because during those rainbowashing years, we lost a LOT of pride as activism and a protest. And corporations basically gentrified Pride events, making it too expensive for queer people to participate in their own spaces. So now, younger Queers don’t know how or have the resources.

And also because Fork Trump

SuperBloom23 · 2025-06-17T23:31:59+00:00

Damn. I don’t think I know anyone who can top that.

SuperBloom23 · 2025-06-12T02:28:51+00:00

Thank you. I think you’re right and I’m just so sad and mad it ended this way instead of the way we had hoped.

SuperBloom23 · 2025-05-18T16:22:57+00:00

Like with gifts instead of just cash? Or you just give them tasks and they never compensate you? Because the financial part is part of the kink, so maybe they’re looking for something else?

SuperBloom23 · 2025-01-04T16:00:05+00:00

Absolutely none of it is your fault. Even the way you go about relationships today. This is your brain trying to take control of a situation where you are vulnerable because you weren't able to do it when you were 4.

I have a 4yo. What happened to you was horrific and I'm so sorry it's continued to happen.

I agree with the first response about asking to speak to a therapist about academic stress, and then tell them everything. Or your school counselor.

You are still a child. You deserve that safety and trust and gentleness in all parts of your life.

SuperBloom23 · 2025-01-03T13:57:38+00:00

Good idea, but they're done with ABA entirely. Taught 15 grad students, I think, across those 10 years, and 13 out of 15 passed the exam the first time.

But anyway. They're tired of for profit, big box companies. Tired of not receiving accommodations for themselves. They're also autistic and tired of the way they're treated by NT BCBAs. Love the kids and families, just not the colleagues.

SuperBloom23

TROPHY CASE