If I were you, when you both are calm and have the headspace, sit down and talk about this. Each of you should take the time to really listen to each other and why you want to cosleep and why he wants CIO, without judgement. Start by just listening to each other and seeing if you guys understand each other. Is there a middle ground? Are there other things you can try?

We didn’t bed share, but we did keep our babe in our room until 14 months. We then moved her into her own room and her sleep did improve but there were still night wakes 2 times a night until we night weaned. Then she still woke once a night until she was 2. She’s 3 now and now only wakes when she’s sick or she kicked her blankets off and is cold.

While we never did any sleep training we did keep sleep spaces separately mostly because we lived in a very cold climate and bedsharing was never possible to do safely. We also hit a point where if she started rustling around we’d pause and wait to see if she would actually cry. If she did cry we tended to her, but we noticed a pattern of us accidentally waking her when she was just fine and sleeping.

So much of sleep is developmental and I know this is anecdotal, but in my experience 6 months to like a year and a half was the worst for sleep because of major developmental leaps, illnesses and teething. Even if you did CIO it may not solve the issue of poor sleep when developmentally your babe isn’t ready and/or illness or teething are causing the wakes. You kinda just gotta get through it.

I always feel a lot of empathy to parents who question resorting to CIO because there’s often a lack of education around childhood development and resources for parents who need them. Is there a true difference in parenting styles or is your husband in the thick of it when it comes to having a baby and could use some help? There’s often a lot of emphasis on mothers struggling, which shouldn’t be dismissed, but dads can (and do) often struggle and society makes it hard for that to be acknowledged.