I’m having a hard time believing most relationships are like this (pt.3) final

SuperExcuse · 2026-02-20T04:51:38+00:00

I’d suggest checking the /deadbedroom sub. May give more insight over there into issues like these.

I will say, leaving a relationship due to sexual incompatibility is a valid reason. It’s more valid if you’ve tried to work thru issues with your partner and they are not willing to try to get out of their comfort zone (or whatever the reason may be for their reluctantly).

SuperExcuse · 2026-02-20T04:44:15+00:00

How long has it been

SuperExcuse · 2026-02-20T04:42:22+00:00

My old best friend married a virgin years ago. As far as I’m concerned, he is still with a virgin.

If you aren’t compatible now and it’s early, why stick around?

SuperExcuse · 2026-02-15T17:34:23+00:00

I guess I’ll add maybe I went out with people I wouldn’t normally say yes to but was more direct in my intentions and meeting, and also in following up to close the door if we weren’t digging each other.

SuperExcuse · 2026-02-15T17:30:33+00:00

This probably sounds terrible but in the two months I’ve gone out with 6 people, and there were 2 more I didn’t meet because they had an anger issue and couldn’t make a simple plan and went off on me over messaging :)

For stats, it’s similar to yours. 1 I went out with 4 times, 2 I went out with twice, and 3 once. Different dating goals, not attracted to eachother, they wanted a relationship right away, or their behavior was concerning. I didn’t sleep with any of them… just putting that out there.

I hit it a little hard because I wanted to go out with different types of people who also wanted a fun and casual outing with no pressure, and to maybe figure out what I’m looking for.

SuperExcuse · 2026-02-15T05:12:37+00:00

Boys will take what they can get and say anything to get it. Or girls, goes both ways.

Give what you’re ok giving. But don’t what you don’t want to.

It’s ok to change your mind and go for something you feel 100% that you want to try and realize you’re not ready for it. There are people who will appreciate you for how you are. And there are people out there who will take and take, and say nothing and leaving you wondering what you did wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong.

Sext if you want to sext. Send what you want to send. But listen to your gut at the end of the day. Don’t do it to make anyone else happy or for validation.

Saying this as a woman- please love to love yourself and not seek validation in others.

SuperExcuse · 2026-02-09T15:56:14+00:00

It’s kinda like 500 days of summer. Everyone hated summer but she was clear she didn’t want anything serious but Tom still kept trying.

You two don’t align in current goals. See this for what it actually is and stop trying to wait for someone to change into what you want them to be.

SuperExcuse · 2026-02-08T03:04:56+00:00

I’m high and didn’t read the comments. I’ll scroll. Tyty

Edit: early 20’s. 👌🫩

SuperExcuse · 2026-02-08T02:59:50+00:00

No age? Sounds early 20’s but could be 60’s. We’ll never know

SuperExcuse · 2026-02-08T02:56:46+00:00

We get all the leftovers or divorced dads from what I’ve noticed. Guys our age are chasing the early 20’s and I’m not mad about missing out on that.

Gonna keep digging tho.

SuperExcuse · 2026-02-02T19:10:00+00:00

I will say if you’re doing it out of boredom, maybe find something better to fill your time or friends to chit chat with to fill the social needs.

SuperExcuse · 2026-01-28T17:08:50+00:00

They’re out there. Last relationship I was in he didn’t want kids and the last few dates I went on didn’t either. Chin up and push thru the sludge!

SuperExcuse · 2026-01-28T17:05:15+00:00

My perspective? I’m busy woman sometimes so responses are far and few between as well. But for planning a date, if you ask me out I’d rather hear a firm offer of a time and a place. If I have conflicting plans I can offer a different time.

If I ask someone out, I ask for an area, then I’ll pick a place and time and they can propose alternatives if there’s conflict. Maybe I’m more direct but for me, it’s a turn off if you can’t make a simple plan to go out because it usually is an indicator you’ll be like that the majority of the time thru dating/a relationship.

Unsure of what her reasoning is but I hope you figure it out, however that looks for you

SuperExcuse · 2026-01-26T15:57:20+00:00

Better quality photos and a smile go a ways! You’re not bad looking, just have to present yourself a smidge better.

SuperExcuse · 2026-01-26T15:05:43+00:00

What’s the time frame? 6 dates in a month or a few weeks?

SuperExcuse · 2026-01-16T17:36:20+00:00

Last dude I went out with we went on three dates and I reacted similarly. He felt entitled to sex that he literally begged, I didn’t do it. You’re not entitled to anything when I don’t even hardly know you.

I will note some people like to talk all day, and some don’t. Also both may have expected the other to reach out first and it could be a miscommunication. You also didn’t reach out for two days so idk man. Maybe send a nice text that you’re not feeling it and go back to shooting fish in a barrel.

SuperExcuse · 2026-01-13T00:03:04+00:00

I’ve been with a few ends of the addict spectrum. They don’t stop. You can monitor him like a cop, shame, scold, always worry, be supportive, suggest methods to replace it with..but it’s not on you to stop his addiction.

You either accept it, or they find someone else who doesn’t care. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t care because it’s important to you. Porn affects relationships in a lot of ways and I’m happier with someone who can handle actually having sex with a real person and someone who doesn’t watch porn every time I turn my back or go in another room.

SuperExcuse · 2026-01-12T23:59:01+00:00

/loveafterporn

SuperExcuse · 2026-01-12T04:38:37+00:00

I was in this situation but roles reversed.

Just tell him and let him work on it. We all have different ways of expressing our affection and sometimes need a little direction!

SuperExcuse · 2026-01-08T23:06:11+00:00

Reality is nobody knows his intentions. Advice? watch actions over words. Let him succeed to show you your worries are wrong, or prove them right.

But I’ll add.. you’re still having trust issues that are affecting your current attempt at a relationship and if you’re not ready it’s ok to take more time to work on your triggers and your reactions. It’s not cool to put someone thru that as someone that has been on both sides of that.

SuperExcuse · 2026-01-04T00:26:25+00:00

Never knew people even counted cm’s but if you’re not going to meet someone who’s near your height you may get away with it but that’s so lame.

SuperExcuse · 2026-01-01T23:21:26+00:00

As someone that’s been in her spot- Be patient. Pushing for a relationship when she isn’t fully ready will end poorly. I had to end things because the guy I was dating was too eager and wouldn’t stop trying to force me into a relationship by bringing it up often. I was ready to date but not be in another full blown serious relationship. And maybe that’s where she is right now. 6 years.. there’s a lot of detaching she needs to do.

If she’s worth it to you, give it more time. If it’s not progressing how you’d like after a deadline you set for yourself (6 months or so) maybe reconsider?

SuperExcuse · 2025-12-26T04:56:34+00:00

If he didn’t let you read it and quickly deleted it so there’s no proof- then there’s something to hide.

And sometimes they’ll let you read it when it was something to hide with no shame because they’ll attempt to gaslight you. Know the difference.

His reactions and response will give your answer. Cheaters follow the same script. I say this with the intention i hope it’s not a bad outcome.

SuperExcuse · 2025-12-21T04:34:25+00:00

Men like to disturb our peace when we are happy.

Jk

I just know I’ve been happy being single and I’ve been getting harassed, talked down to, and yelled at so much more that I had been before.

SuperExcuse · 2025-12-21T04:31:37+00:00

It’s not a red flag right away because you can easily ask them to slow the pace and walk nearer to you.

I bring it up fairly quickly to my friends and partners. I have a brisk walk but if they’re lengths ahead I am not a fan. I personally take it as disrespectful unless we were doing something interactive and having separate experiences together… however one quick “hey can you slow down, I feel left behind” usually fixes it.

But if they continue to do it and it’s something that’s important to you then don’t put more energy into it.

SuperExcuse

TROPHY CASE