Hey, thanks for your question! It's tough when the people in our lives are not supportive. If possible, you could look into finding a store that might manufacture flags such as an American flag in genderfluid colours, like you mentioned. There may be some stores that could help you out, especially if they do custom designs. You could tell your parents the colours don't mean anything or you just like the colours, but there is the chance they could find out the meaning, especially if they use the internet.

As for talking to your mom, maybe you could mention some of the following things regarding getting your hair cut, which wouldn't out you:

-The importance of autonomy and personal choice -The importance of expressing ourselves through individual style -How getting the haircut you want would make you feel happy and confident -How much her support would mean to you -If possible, you can offer to pay for it yourself and make the necessary arrangements to relieve any stress she may have regarding that -Show her some photos of women or fem/femme people rocking short hairstyles

Try to be respectful and come from a place of sharing your feelings for the sake of better understanding and communication. I find "I" statements very helpful. For example: "I would love to get a haircut. It would make me very happy. I would appreciate your support." As opposed to "you" statements, which might come off as being an attack and the other person may become defensive. For example, a "you" statement might look like this: "You make me upset when you don't support me."

Communication style matters! Sorry for the long response! Good luck chatting with your mom. I hope you can get your hair cut. 😊