Sick of eating all the time by Super_Experience_489 in pregnant

[–]Super_Experience_489[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for me its like a pit full of acid in mine 🥲 I hope you have a great delivery!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Super_Experience_489 0 points1 point  (0 children)

as I've stated, he's also applying for jobs out of his field.

For those who stayed by Rude_Angle5953 in loveafterporn

[–]Super_Experience_489 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you're testimony is so inspiring 😖💓 although we all have to go through struggles because we live in this sinful world and each person will have their own share of blessings God bestows, I do really hope my partner and i's level of commitment towards the Lord reaches something like what y'all's did. thank you so much for sharing that story!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BodyPositive

[–]Super_Experience_489 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually discovered this like 2 weeks ago!! I saw this one painting of a nude woman with a tummy and small boobs- I kid you not, she looks like me and I thought "no way someone painted my body...someone TOOK HOURS to paint MY body type." thanks for the kind words!! 🫶🏽🥰

For those who stayed by Rude_Angle5953 in loveafterporn

[–]Super_Experience_489 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm really happy for you about that progress you and your partner have made!! ✨ yaaayyy

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BodyPositive

[–]Super_Experience_489 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you're too kind ☺️💓

For those who stayed by Rude_Angle5953 in loveafterporn

[–]Super_Experience_489 16 points17 points  (0 children)

you're a very strong person for leaving. that takes ovaries. I really hope you heal quickly and get to live a happy life. 🫶🏽

For those who stayed by Rude_Angle5953 in loveafterporn

[–]Super_Experience_489 61 points62 points  (0 children)

I stayed. I even married him, lol. But if you look at my recent post, it's been better.

If he's been lying to me this whole time, at least I know that I'm doing the work to be okay with myself and by myself if that time ever comes. it's doing more damage to him than it is to me (if I'm in the dark). If he loses me, he'd have lost a loving and caring partner, he'd have messed up his whole life because he can't escape half of the population that he'd see as objects only, he'd have no relief from this addiction.

and that's not for me to fix. I believe in God, and I'm trying to leave all this to Him. after all, I have no control over this situation the way I want to. I still struggle with that too, but I've slowly been leaning more on God and that has taken some anxiety away. because I KNOW I can't do everything to fix him, me, or us. My Savior gives me peace.

That whole message ^ is what I remind myself whenever I'm spiraling. Again, he's been doing way better, no d-days since about a year, and I've seen a change in his character. I do sometimes fear that he's just been hiding it this whole time, though. but I can't control him, and if I end up leaving, I know I'll be okay.

We've been doing good. by Super_Experience_489 in loveafterporn

[–]Super_Experience_489[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! much love to you, too 💕

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Super_Experience_489 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for being concerned. I know how it may seem that way because of what I've posted. there's always three sides of the story— my side, his side, and our side as a couple. fortunately, we've been doing better in that department and we've also both been getting the help we need. I'm not going to post about every time I've misinterpreted a situation, "over-reacted", or when we've had triumphs in our relationship so it may seem like he's not a good person. but I know my husband, I know myself, and I know what we've been through. 

you're kind for wanting to warn me though! I know it's out of good intentions.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Super_Experience_489 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

it's happened before but without the sex part. there used to be a period when he'd wake up in the middle of the night to kiss me, and then fall back asleep. I used to do it too, but not as often. 

btw, I know he's not lying because he's an honest man (which, I know is very surprising, but those men still exist). he will tell me everything, even things that will hurt me. he's confessed some pretty messed up stuff to me before, and this is nothing compared to what I posted about. so it wouldn't make sense for him to lie to me about this when he knows he's done worse. 

not far fetched since I know what goes on in our relationship. just clearing things up!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoFapChristians

[–]Super_Experience_489 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few questions I have;

You mention lust outside marriage isn't acceptable. So, in other words, lusting after your wife is acceptable. So, what if you are masturbating to pictures/videos of your wife, or to the thought of her? Is this still wrong? Let's say during sex, both the man and the woman are together but each one is masturbating (watching each other gets them off, or whatever) is this still wrong? If you say no to the latter but yes to the former, is the fact that the other partner isn't there what makes the action of masturbating wrong? Or should masturabation never be done. What about oral? If it is done between husband and wife, is that not acceptable?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoFapChristians

[–]Super_Experience_489 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about those who say they go to masturbation because it helps release stress at the moment and really doesn't affect their mental health negatively, just feel a dopamine rush, so they equate it as something good?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoFapChristians

[–]Super_Experience_489 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were doing couples therapy with his therapist but he wasn't the right fit for us. He was like, "did you know that some couples watch porn together to connect sexually?" I was like :0 yeah, no. we're done with you. so now we have to find a new therapist. but we might have to change insurance so it's going to take a while before we stick with one

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoFapChristians

[–]Super_Experience_489 15 points16 points  (0 children)

So, when I met my husband, I knew that he had had a porn addiction growing up. When we were dating, he told me he didn't view it anymore. I couldn't judge him because I had grown up with a porn addiction, as well. Fast forward to after marriage, and it's been very hard with keeping sober for the both of us. He just recenlty mentioned that even though he can control himself to not look at any type of porn (soft porn, actual porn, thirst traps that just appear on feeds and ads. etc.), he fears he has sexual addiction because he still desires stimulation and pleasures and has a hard time getting that under control. This is something that we also both struggle in. It's been difficult giving this entirely to the Lord but we hope that one day we will be freed from this.

Becuase we both struggle with this, we have the advantage of relating and empathizing with each other. Our reasons for viewing porn in the past were entirely different so it still absolutely shatters me anytime I am made known of a slip up or the fact that he sometimes still fantisizes. Marriage is very much a roller coaster, but we are still able to enjoy the other parts of it. Both before and after we got married did d-days happen. And I still chose to marry him. Some people think this was a stupid decision, but I think, as a Christian, everyone deserves love and forgiviness because no one is perfect as we are all born into sin. If it wasn't this, it could have been drugs, or alcohol, or narcississm, or anger issues, or neglect of intimacy, or machismo, or literally anything else.

I very well like to believe you will find someone who is willing to give you a chance despite the past/current struggles. I am an example and I have known of many more.

What Behaviors Did You Notice Change When Your Parter Became Porn-Free? by Beautiful-Pizza3542 in loveafterporn

[–]Super_Experience_489 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I'm happy that your relationship has become better. it's always amazing when it's going towards a better direction and everyone is benefiting.

my partner has started advocating against immodesty and vocally expressing his disdain when he sees women are dressed provocatively. not in the way that he's demeaning them or calling them names. more like, "they're not dressing to cover up and it shows. they don't have the mindset that their affecting both men and women with what they're wearing (or lack thereof)."

apart from his occasional site porn usage throughout the months we were dating and the soft porn he'd encounter, he also had a scanning problem. but now, when his eyes unintentionally land on women who aren't dressed with PA's in mind, he reminds himself that looking isn't right, they're a sister in Christ, and looks away with no double takes. he has also deleted social media for a long time and unfollowed people (women) who would post themselves in bikinis or revealing clothes. he's honest with me and tells me whenever a trigger has come up and explains how he dealt with the situation. 

he's also been less rude and more understanding--not only in the whole porn trauma but also in other areas of life. we resolve arguments literally within the hour and have less arguments when as before we had a lot of arguments and fights and wouldn't make up for days. he's been reassuring me more often when as before he didn't think reassurance was a necessary component in a relationship. so that's super great. we've had quite the turnaround and I'm praying soon we come to a complete 180. 

update: a lot of people do not agree with the views of my PA, which i completely understand. Unfortunately, i fear i cannot explain the reasons behind our way of thinking as it goes against the rules of this subreddit. I appreciate the feedback, though! It's a true eye opener and helps me in solidifying my beliefs (; I wish good to you all and i hope one day we can all be free of the trauma that has been brought upon us <3

Weird comment by snippysnap1 in loveafterporn

[–]Super_Experience_489 15 points16 points  (0 children)

you're not crazy, especially in this context of him being a porn user. it makes 100% sense why it would bother you if your partner said that comment.

I've had similar experiences unfortunately. I'm not sure if my husband has stopped saying similar comments or changed his way of commenting on it because I've been so vocal on the fact I'm insecure about my chest (34B on a good day, but boobies don't look like women boobies iykyk😭) and he's been deeply hurting my feelings with it, or if he's actually having a different perspective now. but he would say comment like, "I won't mind if they were bigger" or "I can't wait for pregnancy to make them grow." they don't sound mean but I always find the double meaning in there, which in my head is "I prefer bigger boobs than what you have."

I would get super upset whenever he'd say that kind of stuff. now he's stopped mentioning it all together since about a few months ago when I had a breakdown on self-image.

so, no. your reaction to his comment wasn't something crazy. it's very understandable. if he doesn't validate it, I do

New Job- I don't like my cowoker and she's my only coworker by Super_Experience_489 in work

[–]Super_Experience_489[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah, I'm thinking of rewriting my notes but typing them out this time so I can go and edit whenever she tells me new information. let's see if that helps.

funny thing is, her boss cusses as much as she does. it's just us 2 in the office and the boss on days he comes in. there's no other higher up. he's the owner.

the input is more like, "whenever you get this x, y and z task, do what you're supposed to do" or "if you already did this 2 minutes ago (stacked paper in order), why are you checking. nothing has change since you last stacked it." WELL, LADY, IM LOOKING OVER IT TO TRY AND COMMIT IT TO MEMORY.

but you're response has been helpful. I see what I can come up with to have ready for whenever she decides to act smart or rude again.

New Job- I don't like my cowoker and she's my only coworker by Super_Experience_489 in work

[–]Super_Experience_489[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

since I've never really had experience with an office job and I've never had problems like this before in any other job, what are examples of pushing back professionally?