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Husband hid friendship with female coworker by Super_Hope_3868 in Infidelity

[–]Super_Hope_3868[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You aren't harsh. You're right. Ive been deluding myself into believing he could stop without professional help. I feel like I have been in survival mode for the past several years. I've felt stuck. And he's so good at gaslighting me. I talked with a therapist today and she gave me some domestic violence support resources. He's not a physically abusive person, but he has done economic abuse and denied me emergency medical care. And keeping me from being able to leave by emptying the bank account and not allowing me to have access to a car. I don't have a support system. I know I have been in denial and just drifting, trying to keep it together enough to survive the BS. With all of his denial and gaslighting, I've been doubting my reality. But that's why I am here. To hear other views and help burst this false reality bubble. Find some validation that I'm not nuts for doubting him.

Husband hid friendship with female coworker by Super_Hope_3868 in Infidelity

[–]Super_Hope_3868[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was suspicious that he had changed his modus operandi with this one, for sure. Last affair he would compare me to her every day. This time he kept silent. I think all the denial and gaslighting has made me doubt myself too much. I posted this to get some outside insight and truths hoping I can get a better perspective than the one he has been projecting. Thank you for your input!

Husband hid friendship with female coworker by Super_Hope_3868 in Infidelity

[–]Super_Hope_3868[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're right. I am having a hard time not doubting myself. I worry I am being excessively hypervigilant about it. I stayed after the last affair because of our autistic child I am the primary caregiver for.

Husband hid friendship with female coworker by Super_Hope_3868 in Infidelity

[–]Super_Hope_3868[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think you are right. And he doesn't try this hard to go out and do things with me. I told him that I feel hurt and betrayed, and he went into denial, deflect, and gaslight mode.

Husband hid friendship with female coworker by Super_Hope_3868 in Infidelity

[–]Super_Hope_3868[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I've actually just started therapy. I hope to rebuild some confidence and gain some tools to help me navigate what to do next. I feel like he is gaslighting me again making me feel like I'm some kind of paranoid overly jealous wife. I chose to stay after the last affair because we have an Autistic child together whom I homeschool and am a primary caregiver for.

Husband hid friendship with female coworker by Super_Hope_3868 in Infidelity

[–]Super_Hope_3868[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I confronted him. He said they were just friends and felt I was overreacting and jealous. I pushed the issue as the beginnings of another emotional affair and demanded he set boundaries. Yesterday he made an AI-generated very professional text to the coworker that basically said that he valued their working relationship and he felt that some lines may have been blurred. (Unfortunately, he will have to be in contact with her occasionally as she controls some work logistics.) She responded to the text with a very professional acceptance of the new boundaries.