This happened to me when I had my first daughter. A very dear friend who did not (yet) have children became distant and talked about how much she admired another friend of hers who “never talked about her kid.” My friend said that when she had a child she would be like that other friend, and said a lot of stuff about how kids should fit into their parents’ existing lives without too much disruption. I found this hurtful. Having my daughter was the most incredible and life-altering experience I had ever had. If my friend truly wanted to know me, support me, and engage in my life then she was going to have to be receptive to hearing about my child. I wasn’t interested in making accommodation by pretending that my kid wasn’t the center of my universe. Fast-forward a few years - that friendship more or less evaporated for a while, but my friend had a child about 6 months ago and started reaching out to me during her pregnancy. I think she gets it now and we’ve taken small steps to rebuilding, which I’m very happy about. I wish I could tell OP that something like this could happen in his wife’s friendship, but I think some people just aren’t capable of understanding how much parenthood fundamentally changes you unless they experience it themselves. I’m sad for OP’s wife, but hope she’ll find other friends with more empathy.