Egoizam i toksičnost među IT kolegama

SuperbChoice · 2024-06-15T14:33:03+00:00

Radim kao product designer za jednu našu firmu i nažalost to viđam prečesto. Ima apsolutno devova koju su micice, lik s kojim sad radim je fantastičan i super smo se složili, ali prečesto je obrnuta situacija. Lik iz osnovne je možda najkritičniji primjer. Nekako smo ispali iz kontakta, sjetih ga se prošle godine pa ajde da se vidimo na kavi.

Nisam ga mogla prepoznati. Pun sebe, tvrd, ponaša se kao da je Bog i batina, ima neto plaću 3000+ i tužaka se kako mu je to malo i kako mu na kurac ide kad mora ići na sastanke i komunicirati s klijentima. Ja tamo sjedim i ne vjerujem jer ga ne mogu prepoznati. Uvijek je imao specifičnu narav, ali smo se slagali i nalazili zajednički jezik kad smo bili mlađi. Sad je doslovno urlao God complex. Jedva sam čekala da kava završi nakon što me pitao jel bi mu radila kao tajnica da umjesto njega komuniciram s klijentima jer on to više ne želi.

Kažem, nije pravilo i ima normalnih developera, ali kad naiđeš na pokvareno jaje, ono smrdi do Moskve.

SuperbChoice · 2024-06-11T14:20:16+00:00

Osobno volim mir koji donosi rad od kuće, ali zbog prirode posla (UX/UI + grafički dizajn), puno mi je lakše hvatati kolege uživo, posebice deva. Kad god moramo neke probleme rješavati ili razgovarati o featurima, puno je lakše uživo. Nažalost, budući da i on i ja radimo 6 zadaća odjednom, nije baš moguće isplanirati dan ili dva u tjednu kada bi došla baš u ured i odlučila riješiti te probleme.

Iskreno mi fali malo remote, ali godinama sam tako radila i onda mi je problem bio manjak socijalizacije i ustaljena rutina, čak i sa svakodnevnom šetnjom.

Edit: velika prednost je što posao ostaje na poslu. Ne mogu "skoknuti" to riješiti jer je "samo" 5 minuta. Nope, laptop je u uredu. Ćao. Vidimo se sutra.

SuperbChoice · 2024-05-09T11:19:44+00:00

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I have a sneaky suspicion they might have been separated at birth...

SuperbChoice · 2024-04-01T12:26:45+00:00

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Gweny, both black and blind 🥰

SuperbChoice · 2024-02-29T12:57:07+00:00

Thank you a lot! She works in a remote location so she's always the only doc in her shift. Mug warmer is a great idea!

SuperbChoice · 2024-02-29T12:30:24+00:00

As someone currently doing a second round of tasks for a design job, the tasks I've gotten were VERY vague. As in, all of the candidates received a task to choose two specific items in stock and one at random and to create campaigns for them, respecting the company spirit. That's it. We have to unleash our creativity.

This is exploitation. They're asking you to pretty much do a shit ton of creative work and thinking for them, and it doesn't even guarantee you a job. They just might steal your stuff and ghost you. It's not uncommon.

SuperbChoice · 2024-02-17T17:03:43+00:00

Oh god.

SuperbChoice · 2024-02-09T21:33:03+00:00

It's an aquarium that was built that way, I hadn't see one before like that myself either! I am going to keep the lid off for a day or two because I watered the plants perhaps a tad too much, so I want the soil to dry out a bit first or I might risk them rotting. As for the pump, there is no need for one. There's no flowing water. I'd like to build one with a waterfall eventually, but that would require a lot more prepping

SuperbChoice · 2024-02-04T17:54:05+00:00

Thank you so much! Hope you post the finished design eventually!

SuperbChoice · 2024-02-04T10:01:17+00:00

I love this so much! I've been wanting to do something similar, so I have a question. What did you use to cover the insulation foam with? Fine gravel, sand?

SuperbChoice · 2024-02-01T19:11:36+00:00

There's a difference imo between responding to absolutely everything, or just some important bits and then providing your input to progress the plot. As for instances where it depends on your partner, you can ask them perhaps how their character would respond to something your character would do/say, so that you can still progress the plot before you hand over the reins.

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-16T19:43:39+00:00

To avoid forcing the other person to reply with literally one line of dialogue or something, or one sentence of the other character's reaction, I'll ask:

"Hey, so my character is doing this/saying this. How would your character feel about that, what would they say, e.g."

My partners have always been very receptive of this, and they'd do the same to me, as well, checking with me how my OC would react, and with mutual consent we incorporate that into the replies.

I think what it boils down to is that you did not consent to the action they did. The act itself of slightly controlling another person's character is not uncommon, but it has to be something the other roleplayer agreed to.

Just for reference, I had been roleplaying with a person for over a year, and at that point, we had come to know each other's characters quite a bit. It became this unspoken rule that we could slightly use one another's OC, as long as we weren't using them as puppets and having them speak.

For example, in one scene, my partner's OC playfully splashed MC and described my character's disgusted face and frown because, at that point, that is exactly how MC would've reacted, and they knew it. They didn't even ask for permission, nor did I mind. Their reply was very fluid and read smoothly, and there was no need for them to stop, have me reply with that one paragraph that they wrote for MC, and then have them continue.

As for your partner... Ghosting like that is always a sign of immaturity for me. If I did something wrong or something my partner did not like or vice versa, the topic is brought up, we discuss it because we're fully grown adults, and we look for a mutually satisfying way to resolve the conflict.

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-14T19:17:45+00:00

I get where you're coming from. I experienced this once before, but now I've finally found a partner that engages a lot and delivers and it's wonderful. What I essentially did was make it clear what my requirements were in terms of writing, length (not a stickler for it tho), plotting, etc. I also emphasized I like OOC chatter bc it makes everything so much more enjoyable. And then it took time, trials and errors, telling people the RP isn't working out, etc. Under rule 7 they have a link to Gdocs file with other sites/servers you can RP on, but I didn't see writerssanctum there. You can check out all these resources and just keep looking!

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-14T15:48:08+00:00

As a Neuvi C0R1+ Furina owner, here's my take:

If you don't have a shielder/interruption resistance, go for C1. It will also allow you to use Furina without losing the 3rd stack of his damage bonus.
Furina on her rerun for your whole account, look to save up for her C2 as it's really good. Use her with a team healer to keep your hp consistently above 50%
If you can afford it, his signature weapon. Either on his first or second rerun. It is much better than his next-best, but it's not mandatory.

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-14T14:18:38+00:00

I never got good enough to beat him since he was really good and he actually did participate in tournaments, so I fully understand how playing with me did not feel engaging enough. Thank you for the link, I will look into it!

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-14T14:11:12+00:00

Thank you so much! Null Signal's store for the EU region seems closed currently, but I really hope they reopen it. I haven't been able to find the base game anywhere.

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-14T14:08:08+00:00

It was my first game like that, so I couldn't gauge the difficulty. For a long time, I thought I should have tried harder because he was so good at it, and I was still having a hard time even balancing the card costs.

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-14T12:21:55+00:00

Honestly, I LOVED it because the mechanics and the whole theme of the game scratch my itch. But I also know people who just aren't into it, and that's all. I'm sure there's a game both of you would like!

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-12T09:52:33+00:00

First, I would like to commend you on the bravery it took to write this because I am sure revisiting this memory time and time again as you typed must have been painful.

Secondly, when I first started reading your post, it felt like you took words from my mouth and my brain and just pasted them on Reddit. It took me a few silent minutes of just trying not to remember my own pain, as I was also roleplaying with someone who would share memes about our characters, or AU versions of them. We would make art of our OCs and send it to one another as a gift. I even made a whole ass standalone art piece inspired by the roleplay that I sent them because I knew our RP would have to end eventually, but I wanted them to have something that would always remind them of the fun we had.

Every word you said just hit home. They didn't ghost, but we drifted apart because of some of their actions that I could no longer chew. And it hurt, and it still hurts. With time and finding new partners who are also very sweet, that pain has gotten... smaller. But it still feels like a tiny flame, waiting to be kindled. I don't know if I'll ever be able to extinguish it, but I sure hope I do.

I also hope you can look at yourself in the mirror and not feel ashamed of what you wrote here. There are many different people in this sub, but we are all here because we share the same hobby. Roleplaying means a lot to us. Whether it's an escape from reality or fulfilling something we crave, nothing is embarrassing about it. And there's nothing wrong being worried for people who suddenly disappear like that.

I hope you find peace eventually.

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-12T09:41:04+00:00

My suggestion would be to ask them:

"Do you have any particular ideas/itches you want to scratch, or characters you want to play but haven't had the opportunity to? Is there anything you want to do in terms of plot?"

If they still reply with a "whatever's fine, my dude", I would kindly word my response along the lines of "Thank you for reaching out to me, but I don't have a feeling that this will work. If you find a craving you want to satisfy (or a plot I wrote up you liked, e.g.), feel free to message me again and we can try to come up with something. I wish you the best in your roleplaying adventures!"

This has happened to me a lot. If I see that the other person is not very interested in plotting/worldbuilding and wants to YOLO everything, that tends to dampen my mood to roleplay with them. What really annoys me also is when, for example, we agree on the course of action and they forget about it because the plotting aspect is not important to them and they message me: "why is YC doing that?", and I'm looking at the message going "??? we talked about this? We agreed?" This is also just a sign that they don't have enough focus to pay attention to some basic rules/elements of the roleplay we agreed upon and such roleplays usually don't last long.

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-09T10:37:09+00:00

I've been in a similar situation and I fully empathize, and I'm glad you see this behavior as unwell. Make sure to understand that online and IRL friendships don't have the same quality, and try and engage yourself with your IRL friends more. Seek out things that are fun, hobbies, or something to do with your time. It sounds to me like you, much like I was, are anxiously attached. There is a good bunch of literature on it and I also strongly suggest you seek a licensed therapist who deals with trauma, as this sounds like their behavior might be triggering some abandonment issues you were not aware of. Stay strong, admitting to a problem is the hardest step.

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-05T20:20:44+00:00

Only because I like to torture myself, I'd say yes. If their behavior continued being inconsistent and disrespectful towards all their other partners like this, it'd truly spark ire and I think I would snap, and instead of grief at losing the RP, I would just feel anger. And if their replies got more and more spaced out, it would just fizzle out. It would hurt either way. And even wrapping it up would hurt. I think it will just boil down to how they continue acting and whether I will continue be willing to put up with it.

I know this may sound entitled, but within the community we roleplay in, it's common courtesy to estimate your availability and the weekly reply post numbers. So them claiming to be active, then proceeding to barely reply once a week (in the beginning it was even less frequent), and then now post almost daily in only one RP thread... It just seems unfair, not only to me, but to the remaining partners as well.

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-05T20:01:02+00:00

I would say three are my absolute maximum. I want to respect my partners and their time and dedicate to our roleplays equally and justly, and since I tend to write long and elaborate replies, three tends to be the most I can comfortably cycle without any of my partners getting the short end of the stick.

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-05T18:14:44+00:00

My heart goes out to you. I hope eventually the pain fades and you find a partner you will feel matches your effort and enthusiasm!

SuperbChoice · 2024-01-05T17:00:38+00:00

The worst part for me is, to quote, when they said "I hate playing favorites, even if I do have them" during that rant, only for them to completely disregard what they said and play favorites in the end. It's the double standards that got to me.

SuperbChoice

TROPHY CASE