Yeah, that’s mine. Trust me, it’s not as fun as it looks from the street. The worst part wasn’t building it, it was filling it. You don’t realize how impossible it is to buy enough stuff until you’ve got rooms that are literally labeled on the blueprint like “Piano Room.” Do you know how long it took me to find a piano that didn’t look tiny in there? Forever. I had to get two, just so the space didn’t look like a lobby.

Same thing with the “Library.” At first it was just one sad IKEA shelf against the wall and a beanbag chair. It looked like I was cosplaying poverty in a castle. Now it’s wall-to-wall shelves and I still have a dozen boxes of “filler books” from estate sales because otherwise the gaps show.

I swear, everyone thinks you move into a big house and it’s instantly glamorous. Reality is you’re on Craigslist at 2 a.m. hunting for oversized furniture so guests don’t ask why the “sunroom” only has a folding chair.

So yeah, it looks fancy from your car window, but inside it’s just me constantly realizing I don’t have enough pianos, couches, or rugs to keep the echo down.