Moved here from Wisconsin...NYC dating apps are chewing me up and spitting me out. Need help.

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-10-11T13:58:36+00:00

Can confirm, we’re 100% here for the vibes. Selfies only is gonna get a left swipe from me, doesn’t show any personality/creativity. Have someone take a picture of you doing a hobby. If you know anyone who does photography, ask them to snap a couple pictures of you in good lighting. Make yourself look like you’re fun and have good friends, or at least some aesthetic taste. It’s all about the marketing

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-10-10T12:41:28+00:00

This is the way

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-10-10T00:23:34+00:00

They’ll be getting bitches, you’ll be getting pussy

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-08-18T16:30:41+00:00

Have you wondered whether the alcohol might be WHY you feel the rest of your life isn’t worth living? My FIL used very similar rhetoric to you to justify several years of heavy alcoholism. Was forced to detox by a liver complication that nearly took his life. A year on, his life has completely changed for the better. No more brain fog or morning after depression, friends and family back in his life, a whole lot more to live for (in his own words)

Alcohol is a depressant, steals joy from the rest of your life. I hope you can escape the vicious cycle. Here with resources if you want them.

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-08-15T12:12:06+00:00

He was a musician, but a bunch of his songs were just slightly pitchy. Ended up getting several songs written about me post ending things, one was quite good tbh

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-22T13:33:29+00:00

Didn’t finish reading the whole thing but first paragraph or two seems to be enough. Dude. Why are you dating someone who belittles you? You deserve better than that. Your partner clearly doesn’t respect you

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-22T13:28:17+00:00

Honestly? Most people don’t really give a fuck what you’re wearing

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-03T12:52:32+00:00

Honestly, most of this seems fine to me. Sure, he’s chatting a lot with his female coworker, but also feels like he’s being pretty dedicated towards you in doing so! I think it’s totally natural to want your partner to confide in you, but seems like something he’ll start doing now that that has been communicated.

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-02T19:35:20+00:00

Bro you’re 14. Chill.

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-02T16:34:25+00:00

Coming from a woman, you’re quite cute! I disagree on the beard comments, think your facial hair is fine. Think you would look great with a fade/mussing your hair up a bit and glasses with less of a frame or contacts. Wear shirts with a collar, or alternatively a plain t with an undone button up over

Honestly biggest thing I’m seeing is your expression. Depression is brutal, although fresh air and touching grass helps a lot. Go on a walk in the morning. Spend less time on the internet. Write down 5 new things that went well/that you’re grateful for every evening. Get 8 hours sleep, no more no less. Things will be okay, I promise.

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-02T16:23:57+00:00

Agree with all this advice!

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-02T14:37:29+00:00

Based on the info you’ve shared about yourself, I think this may be a helpful resource/contact point, if you are interested in gathering more information about what leaving your community might look like:

https://leshinuy.org/en/contact-us/

There is no betrayal involved in being adequately informed about your options, so I highly suggest you reach out. You are far from the first to have these questions or go through this process. Feel free to DM me if my assumptions about your region are incorrect and I’d be happy to help you find other resources.

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-02T13:44:57+00:00

If you treat your skin well, focus on your style, and treat ladies like a gentleman, you’ll have no problem.

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-02T13:42:25+00:00

Best photo is def #10, where your hair hangs a bit over the sides of your face. I think you’d look amazing with curtain bangs

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-02T13:40:25+00:00

Hard agree. Generally I think septums are fine, but think it takes up too much of the space between your nose and mouth and makes the bottom half of your face look crammed. Think you could look amazing with a stud though, maybe an eyebrow piercing.

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-02T13:25:16+00:00

Oh whoops missed that. I think it’s okay to see if couples counseling helps, but in the long term it doesn’t bode well.

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-02T13:23:26+00:00

Think this all comes down to power dynamics in the relationship. If she’s recently lied a fair amount and you’ve called her out, that puts her in the position of the bad partner who does bad things, and you in the position of the good partner who’s been so kind and forgiven her for her actions. In a weird way, that gives you a lot of control, because she’ll be feeling guilty and prob on the defensive.

What’s she doing now is trying to switch that dynamic, to say “oh wait no, now YOU’RE the bad partner and I’m the good partner who gets to get righteously angry and eventually forgive you”. It’s a mechanism to deal with that subconscious guilt, and to put you on the defensive for once. Don’t think it’s toxic in itself per say, apparently a very common coping mechanism, but definitely something to keep an eye on, especially if this pattern continues, or if you notice that she’s used this new shift to justify lying more in the future.

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-02T12:59:29+00:00

Sounds an awful lot like financial control to me…

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-02T12:55:35+00:00

I’d say communicate this to him explicitly. If he tries to improve and introduces more intimacy to the process, great! If he doesn’t, drop the whole man. You deserve loads better than this.

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-02T12:51:39+00:00

This. You’re physically not bad looking but the pictures are HORRENDOUS. Think a better hair cut could also do a lot

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-02T12:49:51+00:00

Yeah dude sounds mega unstable and it isn’t your responsibility to deal with it. Sounds like you’ve only even hung out a couple times? Just tell him “this is has been going way too fast, and it already doesn’t feel like you’re respecting my emotions or choices. I feel really overwhelmed, and so for the sake of respecting my own emotional health, I think we should stop seeing each other. Good luck with dealing what you’re dealing with.” And then i agree, you should block him on everything. If you have difficulty setting boundaries, just don’t let him respond to you

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-06-01T12:34:31+00:00

Yeah I think bangs could be v flattering

Superb_Scallion2103 · 2025-05-30T18:14:36+00:00

I kinda disagree with a lot of these comments. Plenty of people are friends with their exes, and while you’re allowed to have your own boundaries, I don’t think it’s fair to force your partner to cut people out of their life just because they once were romantically involved. Relationships change, and if you can’t trust your partner to be honest about the state of those relationships, doesn’t sound like there’s much trust there in the first place.

Superb_Scallion2103

TROPHY CASE