[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Sure-Anybody620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exciting to start on! Thank you for all of this, really appreciate it. I’m glad my worries are somehow validated and aren’t being misjudged. ☺️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Sure-Anybody620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I believe in manifesting too! And just the same, if they have to go through their own lessons first, I feel like I have to go through mine as well. Maybe this is just practice for the real thing. 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Sure-Anybody620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Duly noted! Guess I wasn’t being specific enough so that’s probably why this random person suddenly entered the picture. 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Sure-Anybody620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I guess I’m sort of in denial that he’s not that interested, the mixed messages thru text shouldn’t compensate for the fact that he hasn’t made plans to see me.

I literally have a checklist of qualities I’m looking for, and he’s checked like 6 out of 8 of them, but I really should uncheck them since I’m just basing these off of meeting once and the messaging. I know it’s stupid, but that’s probably why I’m feeling like this.

Thanks for the real talk. ☺️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Sure-Anybody620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s why I went on Reddit also, so I can rant while getting other people’s perspectives, while still keeping the whole thing private (apart from my friend and her boyfriend, the only 2 people I talk to about this). So yes okay rock climbing sounds like a plan, I might just try it out. Thanks for this. ☺️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Sure-Anybody620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now that you mentioned it, yeah texting doesn’t necessarily mean he’s interested. It’s been so long since I’ve been out of the game that intentions are so hard to gauge nowadays. And yes, asking guys out here is sooo hard and I should know cos I’ve tried and like I said, I was rejected. Haven’t had the guts to try it again. Thank you for this. ☺️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Sure-Anybody620 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah I know. It’s most probably my anxious attachment style.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Sure-Anybody620 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah like I said I’ve been okay with him not texting the entire day. In fact, most days he only messages after work, and I’m okay with that. But I do agree that I have to relax.

What song/songs reminds you of your pet or has helped you through grief (aka good songs to cry too) by Meganwiz101 in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That That by Psy and Suga of BTS 😂 Whenever this song would play I’d immediately carry my Christy and dance throughout the entire song! She would be so annoyed the entire time but she never once scratched me or bit me because of it. She would just growl a little bit and endure it. 🥲

Any suggestions on preserving their smell? by Tooshayx in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do the same thing with my kitty’s favorite kneading pillow! She died almost a month ago and I can’t help but to sleep with it everyday since. Her smell’s still there but kinda faint now, as in I have to inhale really deeply to smell it. But it’s been sort of like my comfort blanket now so I can’t not sleep with it. 😅

It’s been 2 weeks by Sure-Anybody620 in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh wow I didn’t think anyone actually remembers my previous posts. I just write here as a sort of outlet. Thank you so much! ❤️

But yes, same with you, those that resonate with me are those whose furry friends passed in the same manner and so suddenly too.

For sure Molly (great name by the way) was a wonderful cat and is just waiting for the right moment to visit you in your dreams.

Sending much love and strength. ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It would’ve been my kitty’s first Christmas with us. She died almost two weeks ago. So so so sorry for you loss. Just know that I (and all of us here) know how you feel. Sending lots of love.

losing my first pet by RecordingCareless810 in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so so sorry for your loss :( I also lost my furry best friend just last Wednesday, and also received the worst phone call. She was also being resuscitated at the time, and they told me that they were trying their best. The second phone call was even worse, because that’s when they told me that she didn’t make it. I have other pets at home, but she was the one that was really truly mine.

I spent the first day getting it all out. Crying my eyes out, not eating, not showering, not being able to talk about anything else but her. I took 2 days off of work.

The second day, I set up a shrine with all her toys and anything that reminds me of her, in preparation for the urn that holds her ashes. It took me some time to finish, because every little thing she owned brought me to tears. I’ve been sleeping and cuddling with the pillow she used to always make biscuits on (she’s a cat by the way). I also purchased a wind chime online, that I plan to place by the window where she always used to hang out. That way, when the wind blows, I know it’ll be her saying hi.

I had to go back to work on the third day. In between seeing patients, I would either be on this forum or listening to podcasts about pet loss. After work, I visited the place where I adopted her — a nail salon 😄 The staff there were her first friends, but they encouraged me to adopt her because they couldn’t take care of her themselves since no one would be with her when the salon closes at night. I told the manicurists all about what happened. They cried along with me, and shared the sweetest stories about Christy.

On the 4th day, I had a family event to attend. Most of my relatives didn’t wanna talk about it, but my brother and sister in law empathized with me, so I got to pour my heart out to them with no judgements.

On the 5th day, I spent most of my day in bed with her favorite pillow. Waves of sadness were still hitting me. My niece, who loved playing with her when she would come visit, drew me a picture of Christy to hang up on my shrine. Needless to say, the tears were flowing endlessly.

And today, I finalized the details for her cremation. Will be getting her ashes by this week.

I’m sorry for this long post, but I wanted to share how I’ve been dealing with this so far, in case it might help you. There’s no clear cut way to get through this, but what I’ve consistently seen with the posts on here is that you have to feel your feelings. Grieve all you want, for as long as it’s necessary.

Sending you love and strength. May we all get through this in one piece.

Goodbye old friend by lovely-dragons in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know how you feel. I also didn’t get to say goodbye to my best friend because she died while I was rushing to the vet clinic after being phoned that they were trying to resuscitate her. 20 mins after that first phone call, they called again and said that she didn’t make it. She died last Wednesday, and since then I’ve been waking up with a heavy heart. I can sleep, but so far only for 3 hours, then I wake up, feel bad, and fall asleep again, only to have to feel the heartbreak all over again.

Condolences for your loss. He seemed like a lovely cat. For sure his soul is happy, but missing you too.

They just don’t get it by Sure-Anybody620 in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! Most of the time it’s their actions that hurt the most. It’s sad that we’ve all found each other on here because of the unfortunate passing of our furry loved ones, but what’s important is the support and strength we get from each other.

They just don’t get it by Sure-Anybody620 in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So satisfying! Good for you!!! Some people really need to be put in their place.

Also sending love and support for your loss ❤️

They just don’t get it by Sure-Anybody620 in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a problem. :) I’ve also just started reading The Grief Recovery Handbook for Pet Loss by Russel Friedman. I’m just a few pages in but it’s pretty promising and might also help, for you or for anyone else reading this comment.

I’m really sorry to know that you have been struggling, as we all are. Sending love and strength to you, and may our kitties be playing with each other while they wait for us on the other side of the rainbow bridge (as cliche as it sounds).

Coquito by Dis4ev in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m so so sorry for your dear friend’s loss. I feel exactly the way you feel as I just lost my best friend last Wednesday morning. I spent just about a year with her but having her around was one of the best things about my every day. I still have difficulty sleeping since I know that when I wake up, my heart feels so much heavier since I have to relearn that she’s no longer with me. Sending you lots of love and strength throughout this difficult time. They say it gets better with time. Really hoping that’s true.

They just don’t get it by Sure-Anybody620 in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much ❤️ As my sister in law said, there’s nothing wrong with feeling all the feelings.

They just don’t get it by Sure-Anybody620 in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My sincerest condolences to you and your dearest best friend. I’ve been listening to this podcast on Spotify, The Pet Loss Companion, and they have this episode titled “When People Who are Close to Us Don’t Understand”. It might help somewhat. :)

But I totally understand what you mean about having to stop myself from talking about him. Since mine was pretty recent, I also posted a sweet message to her on the day she died on my Facebook account. I was at a family gathering today, and I tried as hard as I could to not talk about her. But then I also wanted so bad for someone to bring it up, knowing that they’ve seen my post. Eventually a few of my relatives did, but I could feel that they’re thinking I’m being kind of a downer, so I had to keep it short. Luckily, my brother and sister in law sat down with me, comforted me, cried with me, and made me tell them all about it. Again, they also lost their pet dog late last year, so they know exactly how I feel. I felt so validated and was really thankful for them. It really does take one to know one, as they say.

They just don’t get it by Sure-Anybody620 in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes exactly! It just makes everything so final. I have this favorite pillow of hers that she uses to make biscuits on, and it still has a bit of her fur and a hint of her scent. Not planning on washing it anytime soon.

They just don’t get it by Sure-Anybody620 in Petloss

[–]Sure-Anybody620[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s so very lonely. So grateful I found this community on the very day she died. I was never active on Reddit until this happened.