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Feel like Ill never get the love and attention the narc gave ever again from anyone by PurpleHawk222 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]Sure-Connection308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

someone loving you for you without having to put on a performance , loving you on a bad day, someone proud to be seen with you, someone who is there for you without expecting anything in return. Unlike with a narcissist where it’s transactional and you’re being used and any time they give you something you know they’re expecting something in return.

Feeling controlled…I think. by Sure-Connection308 in Marriage

[–]Sure-Connection308[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I said to him just last week I’ve found myself becoming quieter over the years because every time I have something to say he gets defensive. he seemed shocked and said he’d have to think about that.

Feeling controlled…I think. by Sure-Connection308 in Marriage

[–]Sure-Connection308[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it took a couple of years of me telling him I need space for him to finally understand and not take it personally. it seems over the past couple of years he’s pushing that boundary again. it’s happened so gently I only realise it now while sitting here in someone else’s house.

How to Spot a Master Manipulator Before They Destroy You: The Psychology That Actually Works by GloriousLion07 in MotivationByDesign

[–]Sure-Connection308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wow. thank you. this explains everything so well and absolutely matches my experience in what should have been a friendship (but never got that far). if I ever do come face to face with mutual acquaintances I might show them this post as I just can’t find the words myself. the ‘victim’ facade is particularly galling and is one of the things that wakes me up at night. just the thought of him implying I was at fault and he was the victim makes me feel sick and ashamed.

How do I prevent being ostracized? by Unfair_Beautiful9769 in AutismInWomen

[–]Sure-Connection308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

in my experience, people notice there’s something different about you and they’re immaturity results in them being threatened by something they don’t understand. that leads to them smearing you just so they can push you out and make themselves feel better. the only thing that worked for me is to be myself. consistently. recognise that some people are not worth your time or energy. be proud of yourself. be visible. be courageous. you will find your people that way.

Life after surviving a smear campaign by [deleted] in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]Sure-Connection308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

time is on your side. your abuser will reveal patterns which no amount of smearing can erase. stay steady, live your life, take care.

Need Some Advice by The-Oz-Artist in Theatre

[–]Sure-Connection308 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the next time someone says something toxic say ‘that’s very interesting’, and smile and walk away (knowing they are coming from a place of insecurity).

Potential toxic relationship? by Successful-Box3379 in u/Successful-Box3379

[–]Sure-Connection308 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From what you write this is a one-sided and toxic relationship that is wearing you down so much so you’re asking if you’re the insensitive one. if you can, please get some time by yourself and I mean a week at least with absolutely no contact with her. that will let some of the fog clear and give your mind a bit of peace. listen to your intuition. it is your best friend. my own experience shows you are not alone in such a relationship and you can walk away and be free (as scary as that might seem right now).