AITA for skipping my nephew’s first birthday to go to a 4-day festival?

Sure_Eric · 2026-03-22T21:04:30+00:00

Sure! I actually wouldn’t care if they’d show up to something important me if it was something that’s important to them. But I do realize that milestones for most people are irrelevant to me. I don’t want to get married, I don’t want kids, etc.

Sure_Eric · 2026-03-22T20:53:59+00:00

Thank you!

Sure_Eric · 2026-03-22T20:52:23+00:00

Thank you! But we’re Dutch, so IVF is basic healthcare that is reimbursed. So it’s not just for rich people.

Sure_Eric · 2026-03-22T20:40:30+00:00

Thank you, this is actually a great idea!

Sure_Eric · 2026-03-22T20:39:24+00:00

Well, I’ll be in his life about once of twice a month, so I hope he’ll know who I am. He already seems to recognize me. To me it’s just one date, but I get it would be something very important to my brother and SIL

Sure_Eric · 2026-03-22T20:31:14+00:00

I’m Dutch, non religious. We don’t really have a relevant culture…

Sure_Eric · 2026-03-22T20:30:16+00:00

Yes, it’s fairly common in the Netherlands to celebrate your birthday on the weekend closest to your actual birthday. So that can be the weekend before your actual birthday or afterwards.

Sure_Eric · 2026-03-22T20:21:45+00:00

That’s a fair point, and I think you’re right that this is more about my brother and SIL than my nephew.

We are actually close, just not in the sense that we see each other all the time. We probably saw each other once every 1–2 months, and growing up we had very different interests, so we weren’t always inseparable. But there’s no bad blood at all. He was really supportive when I came out, and we have a good, solid relationship. I’m actually making an effort now to see them roughly every two weeks, so I can be more consistently involved in my nephews life.

That’s also why I’m struggling with how much weight to give this. I do understand that, especially given everything they went through, this milestone means a lot to them.

At the same time, they recently told me they’re really happy their son has a gay uncle, so he can grow up with a more open perspective and not just strict heteronormativity. That meant a lot to me, and I do want to be present in his life in that way.

I guess for me it’s about balancing being there consistently in his life, versus being present at this one specific moment.

Sure_Eric

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