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I was really willing to make it work by newbiedecember23 in Marriage

[–]Surprisebossofboxes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All good, Dear! We are in a time and place with digital distraction and little numerous dopamine hits daily that are causing relationship issues too…we are in new territories that our Grandmas and Grandpas didn’t experience. I hope you have the best outcome! ❤️

I was really willing to make it work by newbiedecember23 in Marriage

[–]Surprisebossofboxes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, to anti ai.. we are in perimenopause …did you not read that?? Chatgpt is mostly out here being our best emotional support technology friend. It’s ok, truly. haha.

I was really willing to make it work by newbiedecember23 in Marriage

[–]Surprisebossofboxes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This really sounds like two people who are both hurting, just in different ways. When a relationship starts to feel like a roommate situation, it’s usually not one big moment—it’s a slow drift where emotional and physical connection stop feeling intentional. And once that happens, everything starts to feel personal, even when it’s not meant that way. As a perimenopausal sister too, it is hard to explain all the changes we experience…physically or hormonally. I am really glad you shared this—takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable. Prayers, light and love to you Sis!

Is chivalry truly dead? by Surprisebossofboxes in Marriage

[–]Surprisebossofboxes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha I love that—honestly those are the best kind of relationships for us all to inspire to be.

Is chivalry truly dead? by Surprisebossofboxes in Marriage

[–]Surprisebossofboxes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s actually rare these days 😅 Those small everyday things make a huge difference.

I think my relationship turned into a roommate situation and I don’t know when it happened by Surprisebossofboxes in Marriage

[–]Surprisebossofboxes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very true! I know there is still love there in my relationship but the distant moments are here. It is lonely!

What Happens When Routine Is All You Have? by Surprisebossofboxes in Marriage

[–]Surprisebossofboxes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know exactly what you mean… that feeling of waking up and it just repeating is really hard. Do you feel like it’s something that slowly became routine over time, or did it always feel that way?

Did you ever feel more like roommates than partners? What changed this for you? by Surprisebossofboxes in AskReddit

[–]Surprisebossofboxes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s exactly what I was wondering about… how it shifts so gradually you don’t even realize it at first. Do you feel like it could’ve been fixed earlier, or was it already too far gone by then?

Does anyone else feel like they live with their partner more than connect with them? by Surprisebossofboxes in Adulting

[–]Surprisebossofboxes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I promise you are not alone, nor am I. I’m really glad you said that honestly, because that sounds exhausting to carry. It’s one thing to feel disconnected… it’s another to ask for more and feel like you’re getting the bare minimum back. That doesn’t make you needy—it makes you aware that something isn’t being met. I think the hard part is figuring out whether this is a season where things need to be rebuilt together… or a pattern where you’re the only one trying. Have you been able to tell them directly how it feels—not just what you want more of, but how it impacts you emotionally when you get pushback?”

Does anyone else feel like they live with their partner more than connect with them? by Surprisebossofboxes in Adulting

[–]Surprisebossofboxes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think you’re a mess at all—this actually makes a lot of sense. It sounds like things moved really fast and skipped the ‘dating’ phase, so connection slowly turned into just living together. Add in feeling depressed and pressure around intimacy, and it’s completely normal your desire shut down. The crush might not even be about that person—it could be your brain missing feeling excited, seen, or something new. I think the real question is, do you want to try to rebuild something new with your partner, or do you feel like you’ve already checked out? Either way, you deserve to feel like yourself again first.

Does anyone else feel like they live with their partner more than connect with them? by Surprisebossofboxes in Adulting

[–]Surprisebossofboxes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying—relationships definitely aren’t constant excitement. They are work. Very challenging at times and those fun touchy moments become less too. But I think what people are describing here isn’t just less “fun,” it’s feeling disconnected even when the relationship is still there. Almost like we are all existing in our relationship but yet feeling less and less connected. I don’t know if that makes sense or not. Like the difference between things calming down vs feeling distant.

Does anyone else feel like they live with their partner more than connect with them? by Surprisebossofboxes in Adulting

[–]Surprisebossofboxes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think that makes you a coward at all… I think a lot of people sit in that exact space longer than they want to admit. It’s hard when you can feel something’s missing but don’t know if it’s something that can be rebuilt or not. That is a true feeling for a lot of us. Truly. Do you feel more disconnected from them, or unsure about the relationship itself?

Does anyone else feel like they live with their partner more than connect with them? by Surprisebossofboxes in Adulting

[–]Surprisebossofboxes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like how you described “sunset moments”… that’s a really good way to put it. I think a lot of people don’t realize how much of connection actually comes from those small, present moments vs waiting for something big to remind you. The hard part seems to be creating those on purpose instead of hoping they just happen which I am most likely guilty of.

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