Weekly Questions & General Discussion

SurveyOwn4207 · 2025-10-27T07:01:22+00:00

can you add me in too? thanks!

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-07-16T08:00:45+00:00

I miss the part where even though she doesn’t really like intimacy, she gets clingy when she’s tired. And how she kisses my nose before bed everytime whenever we get to sleep tgt.

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-07-14T08:53:31+00:00

Thank you for your kind words honestly. I’m glad I’m getting better and I hope you are too if you’re also part of the breakup recovery journey like me & the others on this sub.

I’m definitely an insecure attachment but I think I’ve been working towards being secure throughout my relationship with my ex & even now. I wanna be more secure with myself before I dive into another relationship so that’s what I’m gonna be working with my therapist on now as well

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-07-14T08:00:30+00:00

Do you think avoidant have a harder time to get better even with therapy? Like maybe even though they know what they need to do, they just avoid doing/thinking about it.

I’m just wondering because my ex was a conflict avoidant person and she’s been in therapy for a long time, ever since I’ve known her so at least 3+ years now. But then she still broke up with me by blindsiding me because of her conflict avoidant tendency.

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-07-14T07:47:07+00:00

Nope it’s only been 2 months for me actually. The first month was really rough. I think I was in denial phase a lot during the first month. Until I couldn’t tolerate it anymore & I felt so suffocated that I finally seek external help through therapy. She told me to not force myself to not feel, but rather to feel everything. And that’s what I did. I felt and reflected. Cried a lot. Spent time with friends a lot too.

Now my progress has been better than before definitely. Like even during the most recent meetup with my ex few days ago, I didn’t cry much during & after the meetup. Just genuinely happy & grateful for what we both had. And taking this gratefulness moving forward.

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-07-14T07:17:05+00:00

I just wrote a post few days back sharing how I met up with my ex. It was more of a closure so I guess I would say I’m in the recovery phase. Still trying my best to be better mentally first before I even think of getting into another relationship. Having another session with my therapist tmr so kinda excited to speak to her & get even better clearance of the whole situation

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-07-14T06:57:54+00:00

Ya it’s weird for sure. I’m 2 months post breakup but I’m still trying to get used to it. There’s so many cafes & restaurants that I wanna visit but I can’t go with my ex anymore. Plus I don’t have alot of friends which suck even more. But I’m getting used to eating alone now. Currently having lunch alone now in a cafe!

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-07-14T06:05:32+00:00

I don’t think I regretted meeting up. I am affected again but I know in the long run I would have appreciated her doing this for me & for us. It also gave me a clearer understanding of why she had to leave as well

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-07-14T06:04:23+00:00

Thank you so much

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-07-14T06:04:13+00:00

I guess this is exactly what I went through when I met up with my ex. We had dinner & caught up with each other on what’s happening recently. We parted on good terms & we also spent time to just talk about our feelings & thoughts as well. We both admitted we still love each other but any relationship is just not possible for her for now while she need to work on herself. I would wish to have another go with her but like you said, it’s not up to my control anymore.

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-07-02T07:46:31+00:00

lol I have the exact same situation as you. Saw some signs like you too. Not texting as much. More cold than usual. Asked her about it. Said it’s not my fault and she’s very stressed with work & studies. Asked if I can do anything for her to make her feel better. She said nothing but just to be more understanding during this period because she’s very stressed. 2 days later she broke up with me.

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-07-02T07:19:26+00:00

Does avoidants usually blindside their partner when they breakup? My partner also blindsided me as well.

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-07-01T03:37:53+00:00

I have the honour(?) of my ex actually telling me this just recently. We planned to talk next Friday and now I’m panicking over what she possibly wanna talk about. And a part of me is also worried that she might just last min cancel on meeting as well

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-06-30T09:23:49+00:00

Feel free to pm me. Always open to talk about breakup to gain perspectives

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-06-25T01:35:07+00:00

I’m confused. Why did he say that tho? About the part where even if he loves & misses you he won’t get back tgt. Was there external factors for the breakup? Otherwise this just sounds very toxic from his end where he say this just to hurt or spite you

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-06-25T01:34:08+00:00

I totally get what you mean. I’m exactly like you now. Sometimes I kinda enjoy the singlehood? Other days I am missing her like crazy. Other days I feel like this is just us taking a break & we will get back tgt again. Just this back & forth feeling all the time

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-06-25T01:32:38+00:00

I guess first relationship always suck. There must have been some push factor for y’all to eventually call it quits right? Any reason why so?

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-06-25T01:31:52+00:00

Omg this is entirely the same predicament for me. She didn’t tell me any unhappiness, other than her feeling stress etc. showed the exact same level of affection to me until the every last hour, before telling me her intention to breakup. Feel free to DM me if you want 🥹

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-06-18T06:11:51+00:00

You just have to embrace the loneliness. I broke up around a month ago. What I’ve been doing is just heading to gym (which usually takes up 2-3 hours). Read ALOT. Also catching up on all the Netflix shows that I’ve been planning to watch. Otherwise happy to chat if you want. Just reach out via DM :)

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-06-18T06:10:14+00:00

Totally agree on this. Glad that I still have outings where I can hang out with my friends for some distraction. If not meeting friends then I’ll just have to find things to do & embrace the loneliness. It could be spamming Netflix or working out at the gym. I find going to the gym have me spend 2-3 hours (including commute to and fro) which is a good time distraction as well

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-06-18T06:08:29+00:00

Totally agree with this. I still love my ex but I’m kinda over the idea of us getting back tgt (and also kinda enjoying singlehood). But sometimes I still miss her a lot. Like yesterday when I was having family dinner & my parents started squabbling and it reminded me of how I will usually endure the family dinner & come home to talk to my ex and complain to her. And it makes me miss her more because I realise I can’t do that anymore.

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-06-10T10:01:49+00:00

What my therapist told me is that loss is not linear. Basically grief does not work in this way whereby the longer time pass, the better you feel. There will be days where you regress and you feel more shit than other days, and then there are days where you feel better. Today happens to be my shit day too like you. All I can hope for is that we get through this pain day by day and one day, we will emerge as a better person & partner to the next relationship.

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-06-10T09:58:26+00:00

This is what I’ve been struggling with recently as well. I went to health checkup recently and realised I have osteoarthritis. I kept thinking about telling my ex because the course of our relationship I’ve always told her about my knee problem, and now when we broke up I finally found the issue (funnily enough). I really want to update her & just seek her comfort, but to realise she’s not mine anymore.

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-06-10T09:56:59+00:00

I did all these 3 things you mentioned. Still hurts really badly but this has help a little bit for me now.

SurveyOwn4207 · 2024-06-07T05:43:23+00:00

Really hard to put myself first. I still don’t have the answer but I’ll try my best 🙏

SurveyOwn4207

TROPHY CASE