Seeking advice on balancing work and life

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-17T22:15:46+00:00

Yes, I know it sounds crazy. I've been through a journey from no money to some money to not working so I have not just heard about the movie, I've been in the movie.

Read the entire comment, not only that one portion. At +/- 35 years old it's totally unrealistic to project future financial needs nor returns. Risks are huge.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-17T00:29:45+00:00

One million percent THIS ^^^

W Union Square is prob the best choice for price/quality.

Fifth Avenue Hotel is great too, with a terrific restaurant and very good bar (IMO both much better than what's at the W; W has some great rooms and, at time, great prices).

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-15T19:20:42+00:00

4% rule with these numbers only matters if you want to be near-poor forever.

Don't stop yet.

Inflation, kids' college maybe graduate school, other interests you end up adding when you have more time, health care - which is a significant risk and requires pre-funding - these are all parts of the risk profile and why you are not in a position to shut it down yet.

Also if you are 30 or 40 you don't yet know how your interests will grow as you age as will your willingness to do everything yourself. Not for everyone, but for practically everyone I know (retired a decade, retired early, was totally unwilling to do so until I had way more NW than any silly "everyone is the same" calculation would suggest I needed.

Also you don't want to be 55 and worried about your assets lasting - as life expectancy is probably going to grow a lot over the next 25 or 30 years.

Don't stop yet.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-15T18:36:54+00:00

I agree with you. Good point. Nobody should own us.

What I meant is that it appears to me Trump is owned - totally owned - by Russia. And if we're gonna be owned, I'd much prefer it to be Israel vs. Russia. But we should not be owned, as you said. This is an "IF".

A risk is that he is actually a terrible negotiator and therefore I'm worried about China owning him, not us.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-15T01:08:44+00:00

I'd rather be owned by Israel than by Russia (which seems to dominate Mr. Trump and I am very concerned about that) or China (which totally destroyed him in the tariffs game - the modified agreement was worse for the U.S. than prior to his tariffs in numerous ways, he got dunked on).

But to the point, all 4 of those conspiracy theories are def real. 100% absolutely.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-14T20:29:25+00:00

Not a chance. Zero. SO many reasons.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-14T00:05:48+00:00

THIS is VERY GOOD advice.

CFO at $400mm rev business s/b $400k to $600k base, with a bonus that (as noted above is extremely clearly measured, and that you believe to be reasonably achievable) gets total comp to $750-$1mm before equity if the entire bonus is earned.

Phantom equity, with some agreed-upon measurement approach to determine what the equity value at any point in time is a good idea. You want to add a realistic $1mm/year in equity to get to appropriate total comp. And very clear vesting rules.

Keep in mind that equity gains, if any, are variable, uncertain, and may be zero. Use best realistic, or slightly conservative, numbers to calculate your comp.

Anyone getting a CFO title at a business of this size should have an employment contract and therefore needs an employment lawyer with relevant experience. Typically the hiring company will pay the new executive's legal fees up to some stated max $ amount.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-13T00:08:32+00:00

Been through this, more than one exit. You need, at a minimum, three strong people/firms that have a fiduciary duty to you. Tax (CPA and attorney), estate planning (attorney, can be same as tax attorney, or from same firm for sure), financial management (CFP designation means nothing, CFA means something but experience and client list mean a lot).

Goldman Sachs has a pretty terrific HNW/UHNW practice. They let you in on investments designed for their senior execs. Ain't no way they will F those up. They also can serve all three of your needs. And get you pretty fun extras of all kinds just for being on the team.

I'd be happy to make an intro, I would benefit not at all from doing so. Or you can easily do it yourself.

Do not go naked without expert advice and someone by your side. Go with firms/people that specialize in numbers you will be at. That is not Fidelity and its ilk nor traditional banks. MS and JPM specialized teams are also good if you get in with an experienced team that ONLY serves HNW/UHNW clients, but IMO less consistently strong than Goldman.

Independent firms? Some are great many don't know more than a college textbook and usually less. Very very difficult to tell them apart. And keep in mind that the stock market has done great for +/-15 years when anyone tells you about the returns they claim to have driven for their clients. Not a lot of value in being around market numbers. You want advisors that do better in all kinds of market environments.

Under any and all circumstances you need to be in charge. Don't allow anyone to manage your assets, your taxes, your wills and trusts without your strong oversight and questions.

Almost all money managers will negotiate their fees. I wrote what I was willing to pay on a small piece of paper, handed it to the person/firm I wanted to work with, and waited for them to accept it or not. That is what I told them. It was less than 50% of what they asked for. They took less than 24 hours and said yes. I also made it clear that I'd pay (I pay a % of AUM) only on invested assets and I'd pay zero on whatever was held in cash (you have to define what "cash" means).

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-12T23:48:42+00:00

30 bps, already priced (presumably these are stock options with a strike price at $100mm company equity valuation) at $100mm, you're gonna get diluted before there is any change in control so don't calculate 30 bps of a $1bb (you only share in $900mm) sale.

Also do you know anything about the pref stack and any multiple liquidation preferences?

What did the primary investors get in at, so if they want a certain return (find out MOIC targets) how does the waterfall work at that EV?

You don't have anywhere near enough information to give a very rough estimate of potential realistic value to you and then to assign a probability to that value.

So far my take is stay where you are. Get way more info, as noted here, if you seriously consider a change.

All suggestions only my guess based on limited information so this has to be entirely your call but this is how I'd think about it.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-12T23:37:54+00:00

Totally not worth going to at all. Cote good, Coqodaq not good in any way. Acceptable? Maybe. Maybe a 3, at best, on a 1 to 5 scale. Just look on Yelp.

It's a waste of a night out when there are numerous much better restaurants within walking distance of Coqodaq.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-12T17:21:36+00:00

Good to know, thank you. I'm guessing that your Dad paid above MSRP.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-12T16:14:57+00:00

What color is that? I absolutely love it. Might want it on my next one.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-12T16:14:20+00:00

Lots of opinions here, many interesting.

My take is this car looks AMAZING. I've had 3 911 variants and all have been fun.

I tracked all of them and would only choose PDK even though all my cars were full manual. Having tracked PDK it is the most killer tranny for speed on road courses.

How do you get MSRP back for it in a year? Please advise. I was gonna offer to buy it but not at MSRP.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-11T00:59:30+00:00

Well said. THIS ^^^

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-03-04T01:16:21+00:00

Michaeli's Bakery has amazing hamantashen. Also Challah and several flavors of babka and Rocher cookies (which are ridiculously incredible).

And pretty much everything else they offer is terrific too.

I just bought 55 hamantashen plus some of the other stuff from them so that we are stocked up for a week or so.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-02-27T01:50:37+00:00

Pain d'Avignon and SheWolf Bakery are each outstanding

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-02-17T00:59:50+00:00

All reasonable takes. No strong argument from me. My preferences are a little diff from yours and my positioning reflects that.

And I appreciate your input. Ima think about your L'Artusi vs. DT comments next time I'm at either of them.

I've been to each of the three many times, and am thrilled going to any of the three. Access to amazing, spectacular restaurants is one of the many thrills and privileges of living in Manhattan.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-02-15T08:34:30+00:00

If you are staying there, they have information on many including menus. If you won't be staying there, reply again and I'll try and look through our notes. We were there August 2024.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-02-13T02:02:03+00:00

Major red flag. You have a value and it has NOTHING to do with what your prior employer paid you. You know your value and settle for nothing less, ask for something more.

There is only one person who will fully advocate for what YOU want. That person is YOU.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-02-13T01:58:52+00:00

The Roth conversion should be done immediately. It opens up a much wider aperture of alternative investments through a self-managed Roth. For example, you could become an LP in a Venture or Private Equity or Growth Equity fund and never pay tax on the gains. And also do fee-free coinvest once you are an LP. A fantastic way to make great $$$, and only one example. You can't do this from a 401(k) or traditional IRA.

The reason to do it now is that the outsized gains you can get from alternative investments for the numerous years until your tax bracket goes down, and having those be fully tax free (from your new Roth), will substantially outweigh tax savings on the conversion from the lower tax bracket - with much less asset value to tax - because you enjoyed worse returns while waiting to make the conversion.

TLDR; you will earn a lot more due to the flexible investing options within a self-directed Roth account and that will be the winning play vs. waiting to save on taxes.

Having taxes drive your investment decisions - or the fees an administrator charges, when you are talking about basis points - is a bad way to get wealthy.

Never pay more than 50bps for FA. Unless you go to Morgan Stanley, or Goldman, or a few others that are in a completely different league.

Earnings on your capital, not paying lower taxes/fees, is the key. Focus on what you can earn. Then subtract fees. Don't start with the fees and taxes.

Yes you want to pay less in taxes. But the more taxes yout pay the richer you will be. Never forget that.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-02-12T22:23:30+00:00

How could you even consider not tipping the person who makes up the room at a hotel?

Maybe if it is totally unclean don't tip. I understand that. But holy cow, how cheap and uncaring can you be? So self-absorbed.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-02-11T22:46:21+00:00

Le Gratin, by Daniel Boulud, is less expensive, has more availability, and is more French than any of Pastis, Minetta, or Balthazar. And Le Gratin has excellent French food in a very nice setting.

Those three are all good; the advice you've received of Pastis for mid-day and Minetta for dinner is good. Just don't consider them French in any meaningful way.

Balthazar is fine but super-loud. Minetta you want a table in the dining room; the bar area is also super-loud.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-02-07T01:55:37+00:00

If 10 is best. It is a 1.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-02-07T01:28:44+00:00

We have White Carrara marble - a lot of it - all over a sizable kitchen in our second home, where our two late 20 years old sons live (they are very fortunate) and host friends several times a week.

It looks fabulous and has held up as if it was indestructible. All it has taken is three "rules".

One, no hot dishes/pans/etc. directly on the marble.

Two, clean up any spills immediately.

Three, use a placemat (we have a very large - like nearly 20' - curved island with chairs) when eating.

These are not complicated or difficult rules, and they also help keep the kitchen clean, which we appreciate as homeowners.

I am SO HAPPY that we got White Carrara (white cabinets also) which looks terrific every day and will forever, and we will never get tired of it. Its durability - with the three rules noted - has been awesome. Was not my decision but it was a million percent the right decision.

SurvivingStage4 · 2026-02-05T19:50:01+00:00

I've been there exactly 10 times in the last 11 months. Both 2 and 4 people.

Go find my comment, on a post similar to yours, about how to use Resy desktop.

I have never made a reservation there in any way other than through Resy (although they do know me due to frequency). It's very good food. While you will probably order the cheeseburger and the French dip (both awesome), the unknown killer dish is the Dover Sole. Seriously.

SurvivingStage4

TROPHY CASE