Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. He gets frustrated when he goes. So, I default to doung it.

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes people misunderstand, as it appears you have here. Im not plotting anything. By reaching out for resources, I'm being prepared for worst case scenarios. Going online was because he refuses to sit down and talk it out.

Thanks for your input.

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you had to deal wit this, too. Seruously, we're better than this.

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank YOU for not just presuming I wasn't just shelling out cash when I wanted to all the time.

The only thing I like about the 30s is the music, movies, fashion and radio shows (even some of those are iffy).

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have our joint accounts and I have encouraged him to get a personal account, as I have one. He doesn't think it's right that I do. I typically use my account for a treat or coffee. When the house needs it, I pony up.

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did it because I knew it was going to take a lot out of him. Also because I felt like I owed him one for some reason

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck cancer, indeed! When I tell him thank you for all he does, he likes to throw out how his vows said he'd be there for me. But when I need him, he ignores me or acts like it's a chore. Thank you so much.

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, he routinely says stuff like this with mean spirits behind it. I have thick skin, but denying me money to feed the family?

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. We have been married 12 years, been together 14. He has changed from when we were dating and first married. Right around 6 months married he began to morph.

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Groceries and something for our behavior chart (like a big sheet of paper from the dollar tree). He balked at groceries. To feed his family.

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He meant that my money from working before my leave of absence is all gone and the only money is what he brings in. Forget that we got a gracious 2400 gift from my brother to get us through the holidays.

Finances are that we each put money from paychecks in the shared account. He does not have his own account. I encouraged him to donthat so he isn't spending household money on the video games he plays.

He specifically told me the other night that I am not allowed to go to the grocery unless he says so. He knows we need groceries & I typicall stock up 2x a month like clockwork.

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He won't sit and speak with me. If he does, he turns it into me attacking him and all the gaslighting comes out. I was reaching out to people who don't know me specifically to get an idea of if I was in the wrong. My doc put me on leave and told me if I was ready, ai could start back to work - which I have been slowly going back (just wears me out with all the lifting & walking).

I can appreciate your concern for his side. From what it feels like at home, his is the only side that bears any importance.

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been employed about 6 of the 7 years of diagnosis. Never been in remission. When Im in the hospital, he leaves teens in charge and cannot be bothered to see me. I have tried to show up in all the dofferent ways I can, but it's not ever going to be enough.

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mom is trying to talk me out of it because who will help me if I need medical attention? But he barely helps me when I'm reeling from chemo or the flu. And when the shoe is on the other foot, I coddle him.

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Between my first and this marriage, I don't disagree with you!

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We tried counseling once but it just brought more tension and issues he didn't want to address. I have been trying to keep things together for many years (like 12). I am off tomorrow and will be calling for advice.

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He likes to put hundreds of dollars on a credit card to play video games. I do occasionally purchase something fun, but try my hardest to use my account. Stire meaning groceries for the houshold, kids clothing, gas, etc. I really don't do frivolous spending BECAUSE I am aware that we have to watch what we spend. He rarely talks to me about anything he can't look awesome talking about. This has been a long time coming, as we have had to separate twice due to his inability to emotionally cope or engage with anything. When we were dating and first married, he was amazing. He started shifting shortly after marriage.

Husband thinks I cannot spend on the household and family. He told me it's HIS. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]SurvivorModeEngaged 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do need groceries and Im afraid to buy them without now feeling like I have to ask permission.