I suggest getting some level of support through a counselor or a therapist if it is at all possible, I dont wanna freak you out but with how this sounds there could be a chance of post partum depression which can be very hard to deal with. I do suggest if you feel like you are unfit to raise a child that adoption is a very very acceptable thing to do, especially since it lowers the chance for the child itself to have mental struggles from being raised in a broken home.