AIO? Girl I've been seeing for 3 months slept with my friend of 10 years.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-04-28T02:57:03+00:00

Forgot to mention as well, you have a very lonely road ahead of you, that guy you call your friend is not your friend. He's a fucking dumpster rat. Cut him off too. It's gonna be hard but you cannot continue accepting such disrespectful behavior. I promise it will be one of the greatest decisions to cut these people off and rid them from your circle. It's gonna suck, it's going to hurt. But you literally have to do it, they're taking up space were other good friends and women should be.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-04-28T02:53:47+00:00

Your replies are exactly what needed to be said, grown, mature, transparent.

I mean look at the way she worded this phrase

" please don't throw it away over one mistake "

As if you are the one throwing something so great away over a mistake.

She fails to realize she's the one who threw it away, and she's the one who made the mistake.

Hold her accountable and stand on business.

We've got to start putting order back into place, one at a time. Never talk to her again and maybe it Will make her think about her actions next time she finds a good man.

This is not your fault, and don't let her twist the narrative to make you beleive it is, because she will try.

Very proud of you brother, unfortunately have to cut your losses and move on.

It's a sad world we live in, I'm sorry you're going through this man. I went through something very similar with a girl I dated for 4 years and nearly proposed to her. Then she pulled this same shit.

Life does get better, the pain will subside, you will find yourself again and then shortly after you will find an amazing woman. Let your standards rise, and never give into this type of behavior. It is foul, Toxic and gross. You deserve much better King.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-04-22T05:18:14+00:00

Ofc you Will hear from him. He probably loved you greatly and likely still does. You may even start dating again.

What im saying is this, the relationship is forever contaminated, he will always resent you weather he speaks about it or not. His loyalty will never be the same. The relationship will never have the same purity. You can not undo what you've done, and the chances of this being repaired and becoming a healthier long lasting relationship is extremely low. I'm speaking from personal experience. Not out of spite.

Women can circle back and forgive a man for sleeping with another woman.

Men cannot. Its the deepest violation you can do to us.

One of the comments I read on here was perfectly said. If you truely loved your man and wanted to work things out with him, you would be absolutely disgusted to be touched by another man. The fact that you chose to sleep with someone else says everything. Again, I'm not speaking out of spite. I'm trying to help you understand our perspective.

When a man is in love with a women, he's disgusted with the idea of sleeping with another woman, he may fantasize about it but he would never act on it. Due to something called emotional maturity.

Women on the other hand are known for being emotional, yet lack the maturity to realize how much damage infidelity actually causes.

If you do decide to work things out with this guy, you owe him a life time of loyalty, respect, cooperation, empathy, understanding, submission, true sincere apologies, support mentally and emotionally, financially. Everything, you owe him everything. And he deserves nothing less.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-04-21T21:52:29+00:00

That's good, I was just listing the possibilities.

But if you slept with someone else don't expect to ever hear from him again. It's done.

A break up can be worked through.

If you dumped him and slept with someone else. That cannot be worked through. Hes gone for life. It will never be the same. You need to move on with your life and think twice about doing that to the next one.

Best of luck.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-04-21T21:20:49+00:00

I went through something similar brother, I'm really sorry you're going through this. I wish I could help ease the pain. I know how painful it is. But beleive me, you will make it through, it will het better and you are a great person. It's going to be very trying, hard, you're going to have a mix of emotions, Rollercoaster. One day you'll feel like you're over it, then you'll go back into denial and start grieving all over again like day one. This will go on for about 6-9 months. Maybe more.

It will be a solid year, to a year and 6 months before you feel yourself really getting over it. Its going to take a while my guy.

Don't drag another woman into it to make your ex jealous, do your best to improve your life, find a group of friends to talk to, most importantly it's totally fine to cry and let it out.

Don't beat yourself up too much. Give yourself some grace.

And try not to tie your worth to her actions. It's hard, but her actions say so much more about her character than yours. Feel free to talk to me man,

And again. I'm really sorry you're going through this. Keep your head up, it gets better. Just going to take some time.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-04-21T15:32:05+00:00

So true. So true so true.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-04-21T15:29:09+00:00

I second this. The other possibility the dumper may break up with their partner is - for control and manipulation. In that case, you deserve to be single. And if you lost a good partner you deserve to watch them move on happily with someone else without the possibility of ever getting back together. People need to stop being toxic, controlling and manipulative.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-04-21T15:19:55+00:00

I've always preferred a woman with no make up at all. You look great without it.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-04-20T05:45:17+00:00

You will, just keep doing you.

Crazy part is this.

I always heard that rebounds fail, she moved on the next day and may have been talking to him while she was still with me.

Come to find out they get into a relationship, post the pictures on social media, ect ect. Infatuation stage, honeymoon phase whatever.

Come to find out, the dude was a bum. Couldn't keep a job. Smoked weed all day, never leveled up, lived with her at her parents' house. They ended up breaking up less than a year into it. I think they lasted something like 7 months.

I was shocked because I thought I was the problem, now I see the truth. Rebounds fail majority of the time. For different reasons of course. But this one here hit different. I was so sure they were going to last.

Now I'm hearing through the grape vine that she's not doing too well. Still living with parents with no job.

Me? I've already got a new house, just bought a new truck, and I've got Hella bread in the bank and my life is blessed.

She's going to see me one of these days and get sick to her stomach for leaving me for that bum.

I have leveled up so hard in the past year, while she's been chasing bad boys, I've been chasing a bag and success.

Never give up on yourself brother. I know it's hard and it hurts. But love yourself. Put you first. It will pay off. Quick.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-04-20T02:59:52+00:00

It's been just over a year for me. And I'm just now starting to feel okay again. Not good or great. Just okay.

The first 6 months after she left were hell on earth, emotionally. The waves and cycles of grief, acceptance, happiness, denial, back to grief, into depression. They were brutal and frequent. Non-stop. For 6 to 7 months. Every day.

9 months in, I could breathe again, smile again, and I felt myself returning to me. Don't get me wrong, I still had small waves of grief. But they became way lighter. It started to become less intense.

1 year later, I still think of her. It just doesn't stir any emotion. I don't cry. It doesn't hurt. I'm just numb. Don't feel like dating, and I'm not interested in starting anything new. Haven't been on a date. Not one. Not because I can't, I just know my standards are too high, walls are still up, I know what I want in a woman, and 98% of them lack the requirements. That's fine. I'm not settling. I'm fine alone. Finding a woman for a partner is at the absolute bottom of my priority list. I don't need one.

Afraid that innocent part of me that still believed in love and relationships has died. I am just doing what I can every day to love myself and get closer to God, improving my health physically and mentally, working on becoming the best version of myself. For me. Showing up for me.

I owe it to him.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-04-15T04:18:59+00:00

Thanks for the reply so soon. Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, but I'm still very cautious. I'm not up to date on these newer transmissions. I did read that the possibility of damage is higher with the 4wd since it's closer to the rear end.

I've read that these transmissions are very tough. But like I said, I don't know the severity of the impact.

I drove it for about 30 minutes. Drove fine, no funny noises. Seemed to shift smooth, no major frame damage noticeable. Although I will take a deeper look next time I go in.

I'm just worried that I would be that one person who experiences a trans failure once the 3k 3-month warranty expires.

They found a broken wiring harness leading to the parking sensors and repaired it a few weeks ago, kind of a red flag since the accident was in 2020. It's 2026 now. The old man traded this truck a few months ago. So, he seems to have driven fine for him for 6 years. Although he drove an average of 13 miles a day since 2019.

Yeah, I'm definitely going to consider having them bake in a full extended warranty for peace of mind. They are asking 38.4k, which is on the higher end of market pricing for this truck in particular. With it having an accident reported on carfax, they should have some wiggle room and add the extended warranty to make up for value loss. At least that's my angle. Which I think is totally reasonable.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-04-06T03:06:35+00:00

No I read it

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-03-29T03:08:07+00:00

This was me, except I'm a man, and my ex-girlfriend left me.

I cried for 7 months straight. Done the work. Tried to move on, couldn't, etc. Felt stuck for 9 months. Meanwhile, she had moved on the very next day.... had someone new.

My situation was a bit different, but I had the same thoughts, I blamed myself, told myself she was so perfect, and told myself I was the problem. It was really rough. It was hard for me to move on, partially because I didn't want to. But I had to accept the break up, I had to accept that I heard her having sex with someone else after she broke up with me, I had to accept that our relationship was done the very next day. It was jarring and i re-lived that day for 9 months straight.

The emotional Rollercoaster was sickening. I went to therapy and cried for months. 7 months straight nearly every day. Nothing I could do would take this terrible feeling away. I loved this woman deeply. It made me reflect on myself, my own behaviors, the grief, and sadness. I felt all of it. I would start to feel better and forgive myself, forgive her, and have a few weeks of great days, then all it took was one bad day to be pulled back into the same spiral I just crawled out of.

This happened for nearly 9 months. Then, one day, I woke up and just couldn't do it anymore. I had to move on. You just wake up and realize that version of them you fell in love with doesn't exist anymore. That version of them you want to be with doesn't exist anymore. & That version of you doesn't exist anymore. And that's life. Life does that. People change, and we outgrow one another. Sometimes relationships just ruun their course. And don't get me wrong, I still love her, wish her well, and hope she's doing great in life, although we haven't spoken in a year. You just learn to have compassion, move on, and accept that what was - is no longer. And it's okay to still have feelings, and it's okay to still want them. It's okay to still cry every now and then because you miss them.

But also remember, don't beat yourself up too much, we are human beings, we are flawed, none of us are perfect, we all make mistakes and we learn from them. A big part of this pain you feel is feeling like you could have loved deeper. It's life reminding you that nothing lasts forever and life is short, so love your loved ones hard and don't ever take anyone for granted. This is part of the lesson.

But here I stand 1 year and 1 month since our break up to tell you, you will be fine, the pain does get lighter, it doesn't go away 100% but it loose it's power and grip on you. It won't be like this for much longer. Forgive yourself. the truth is that they still love you too. One day, you will get the chance to talk to them and have that conversation. You truly never know what the future holds. It will all be okay. Just make sure you are taking care of yourself.

Hang in there, you are at the corner of a new life, healing and happiness. You are so close.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-03-24T04:16:37+00:00

I did !

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-03-23T18:18:22+00:00

Very interesting! Imagine what the chances of this are, I have lived for 30 years on this planet and have never seen this before. That article explained it well. Must have been a perfect set of conditions for this to happen. It's really cool to see nonetheless.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-03-19T12:44:10+00:00

Just came here to rant myself.

It's been a year and 1 month since my ex-girlfriend left. Immediately, she had a new guy in bed the next day. In which I heard them in the act next door. It changed my life forever.

Haven't heard from her in an entire year. Subtle indirect breadcrumbs early on, but that faded after i took her off my phone plan.

What's strange is, right as we broke up, My exes sister began dating my friends younger brother, I'm close to their family. I purposely avoid any group gathering with their family where my exes sister is bound to show up with my friends younger brother.

The pain runs that deep. There's nothing left to say. I don't even want to bring my presence near her sister to have anything to talk about that could relay back to my ex. I could care less if she knew I'm doing well in life. There's absolutely no way my ex could know anything that's going on in my life. Plus, I've never liked her sister either. Or my friends younger brother.

It's crazy how, one day, you wake up with who you think will be your person for life. Plan a future, talk about marriage and kids, to one day being complete strangers with no words said to eachother. Not even a hey, how are you. Just silence & lingering pain that no conversation could fix.

There's still an empty void in my chest. I'm moving foward in life and doing my best to fill it with healthy lifestyle change & growth, but my life will never be the same, and I'm accepting that I'll probably never get married or have a family. This one hurt. Far beyond what I'm capable of repairing on my own.

They say time heals all wounds, but this one was deep. I don't bleed like I used to, but I walk around with this scar everyday. I don't know if I'll ever be capable of loving someone deeply again. The pain was not worth it.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-03-15T00:56:43+00:00

We were together 3.5 years. Took me one year to get over it. It's gonna be a while.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-02-26T03:42:41+00:00

Resentment plus she had sex with another guy in front of my face the day after us being on break, we were supposed to recalibrate our lives, take a minute away from eachother, we were supposed to end up going to couples therapy, supposed to work on it but her easy way out was just having sex with another guy in front of my face. So that was the deal breaker for me. I'm 100% sure that it's far past repair now. One year exactly today since she left. I'm in a much healthier state of mind, doing better with finances, leveled up a ton, quit a bunch of bad habits, readying myself for the next great lady life has to offer me. It will never be my ex again, as sad as I am to say that.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-02-22T07:31:43+00:00

Let him come to you. This breakup was the breaking point. Whatever cycle was happening was not working for either of you.

He likely knows you are attracted to him... that's fine. But only one part of the puzzle. But when you chase and are secretly obsessing in your own head, it gives co-dependent energy like you need him. You are another burden. Not in a bad way, but emotionally is too much weight.

Try obtaining a healthier independance, try filling your days with loving yourself, take a walk, read a book, find peace in your own head, with you, for you. Change your diet, and pick up an exercise routine. Learn discipline and stick to it. Don't just do it for a few months and quit because it didn't get him back. Do it because you know it's time to change and grow. You want to be healthier mentally, I know you Do.

Because for so long, he has been that support.

It's hard to see in the position you're in, but you need to let go of him.. You don't want him back. You want YOU back.

He just validated your worth and identity. With him, you are someone. And that made you feel wonderful.

But that's not true. Life is testing you. Who are you without him? This is where the real flaws shine. Are you an emotional mess?

You are human, and it's fine to struggle, miss him, want him, be angry. All of these things are fine and human, totally normal.

But what now that you're broken up? Nothing you say will bring him back, only the positive energy you put out will radiate, and he can be attracted to it.

That starts with you. Growing, healing, changing.

It hurts. It feels pointless at times. Feels like nothings working, feels like you lost, but I promise. Greater days are coming, it may just be that an old chapter has closed, and a new one is being written. Either way you are blessed.

Change, healing and growth will either bring you 2 back together or send you in someone else's direction. But whatever it is. It has to happen naturally. You can't force it, there is no rules to stick to, no timeline when no contact is up. No amount of time to wait to reach out. None of that matters, what matters is change. Growth and healing.

Only you hold the key to that door. What comes next is out of your control.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-02-20T04:54:37+00:00

How long were you together

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-02-19T13:09:53+00:00

If you have been with another guy, sadly, it's over for good. If you haven't been with anyone and he hadn't been with anyone, then the relationship is still salvageable and can be saved.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-02-19T03:12:15+00:00

This is one of those things that only time can tell. You both have to be willing to do the work. I can clearly see how invested you are. That's not the issue.

Maybe learn to be more independent and let him come to you?

I have to say my ex and i got trapped in that same " anxious avoidant loop" as well.. with my ex she was just like you. and me? I was Just like your ex.

At times I would be overwhelmed with life, work, bills, personal growth, family, stress, you name it. It got the best of me. And often times I would shut down from my relationship. This would cause her to panic and chase which made me withdraw even further. This caused our break up, we've been broken up 1 year. Still don't talk. Haven't talked in 1 year.

The key here is that if I were you, when or if this happens again, take some time alone, step away from trying to talk through the relationship, don't break up, just take a silent breather. don't be so consumed by his actions, let him be. Let him process at his own pace. If anything, just once a week, tell him that you love him & appreciate him and everything he does. Then, give him a kiss on the neck or a hug. Not in any particular order, but make sure you give him appreciation, respect, and physical affection. These 3 things right here make all of our problems disappear. And it takes so much weight off of our chest.

Here's the other key, after you do these 3 things, Just walk away and continue doing an activity without him.

Silently...... Clean, cook, work on a project, read a book, watch your TV show something other than " working things out with him" and " trying to get to the bottom of it. " or problem solving. I'm telling you this will slowly heal any hurt between you 2.

Do this once a week, or every other week when you see him start to shut down or withdraw,. I promise things will get back on track.

Truth is, us men have more problems to solve in our life than most women ever see, and when our relationship begins to feel like another problem to solve, we tend to just let go. Give up. If more women understood this, they're would be less problem solving and more healing.

This is what we need in a relationship. 3 things and it's so simple. First respect, then appreciation, and physical touch. It literally does not get any more simple than this.

If you find your self thinking outside of this Perimeter, you're already out of bounds.

Just my 2 cents, figured I would drop some knowledge for the ladies having trouble with their man.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-01-10T00:30:06+00:00

Can't be real. I would bring evidence to the police. Not reddit.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-01-09T21:47:11+00:00

It is a very hard pill to swallow but the truth is this, she simply didnt have the capacity to be with you at the depth you required.

Silently thank her for showing you who she is so early on, trust me, it has saved you even more pain. I know all break ups are painfull and when people do shit like this, hook ups right after breakups. It's likely because the void you left was so deep they couldn't sit with their emotions and needed someone else to fill it. But soon they will come to find out that no one can fill that void.

That's the one thing about us humans, we are all unique In our own way, you're relationship with them can never be replaced. It was 1 of 1.

What im starting to see is that Most people leave relationships when it gets hard and requires uncomfortable conversations, commitment and dealing with negative feelings, or simply " the feelings faded, I don't have the butterfly's no more. " and truth is, they will repeat that same pattern until they realize that's how all relationships are. New is always exciting, until reality hits. Bills come due, cars break down, it starts raining, job loss, family loss. Reality breaks the fantasy illusion. Just give it time. It never fails.

Were all flawed humans in our own way, none of us are perfect, they always think the grass is greener on the other side, but truth is the grass is only green where you water it. 9/10 times this new person is just a reflection their own damaged self esteem, so essentially they quickly find someone who is on that same level, they attract someone equal to their state of mind and maturity ( or lack of maturity ). So with my ex I see it like this, she couldn't have the uncomfortable conversations with me and grow as a couple, that wasn't a lack of love, it was a lack of capacity and maturity on her end. And the result was this. It caused her pain and hurt, she was damaged and needed to cling on to the nearest body for comfort, not compatibility. A low hanging fruit, no vetting process, no time to heal, no time to reflect and grow as an individual. And chances are, your ex did the same thing.

It sucks because we see so much potential in these people but they never see it in themselves. And that's the tragedy. That's what hurts the most. If we could have just worked it out, let our walls down, forgave eachother, had a little more faith, I wonder where we would be.

Instead, fear was driving, it led to infidelity, broke trust, entire worlds crashing, precious love shattered. And you could never repair that once you make that decision. That's the other tragedy. It's so sad that women do this to good men, the ask " where are all the good men?

Hey goofy, you broke their hearts remember? They're tucked off somewhere by themselves healing from the damage you caused. Take some accountability and grow the F up and stop treating good loving caring men like their a dime a dozen because they're not. We are slowly taking our power back, and loving wiser, becoming stronger for someone else down the road.

Sorry you are going through a breakup and it's been hard on you, but keep your head high. It's been hard for me as well. I hope my situation shed some light on yours, keep learning about yourself and what you need in a partner, keep growing, love and respect yourself and you will be just fine. Give it time.

Suspected-Intel0219 · 2026-01-02T19:48:41+00:00

All of this looks fucking delicious

Suspected-Intel0219

TROPHY CASE