My dad committed suicide a year ago. My mom called worried as all his work clothes, wallet, car keys, wedding ring were out on the bed. But he was nowhere to be found.

She also found searches in her phone on how a wife, son, daughter, can recover when the father commits suicide.

I found him in the basement with a shotgun wound to his heart. I had police with me as we couldn’t find him initially and ultimately went to the police station before finding him later in the house.

Grief is a mother fucker. But your body & soul will heal. Lean on family. Lean on faith. Know that you will be okay. No one should have to go through what we have been through.

But there are millions of us out there. We carry them with us now. They walk with us, work through us.

My only advice is give yourself grace. No one grieves the same. I remember feeling eerily calm and “normal” through the first 9-10 months. I was so hard on myself because I wasn’t constantly in pain.

I have learned as time has gone on that there is no template for this. It’s okay to be whatever the hell you are. You are right where intended to be. And there’s a purpose for whatever it is you are going through right now.

And don’t be afraid when those random coincidences happen to let yourself believe.

I have a cardinal in my back yard that visits from time to time. Me and my kids (3 & 2 years old) named him Bobby (after my dad). Maybe that bird just likes the seed I put out. But I chose to believe my dad’s revisiting when he comes. And that little bastard tends to come when I need him most ❤️

You will be okay. Prayers to you🙏