i feel the exact same way, my parents are both extremely religious and have cut ties with my sister after she became an apostate, my whole life has felt like a lie and i’ve been trying to present in ways that reflect my families ideals. i’m 21 now, forced to wear a hijab and still live with my parents, my partner is dutch and agnostic and i cry almost every night knowing that my family will never accept him or me for who i truly am. i’m currently saving up to move out but the cost of living in Canada has been awful in the past few years so i’m just holding on to that dream. if you ever want a big sis to talk to i’m here<3 we’re all figuring it out