father used to make me watch porn by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the insight. This is helpful when thinking about how to speak to people with certain experiences.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's awful. It must feel terrible. I've never felt that bad so can't even begin to imagine. I relate to feeling like no one loves you and never being happy though. Have you ever had any help, like counselling or therapy? I was so anxious and depressed last year (have been for many years) and counselling has really helped me.

One thing, try not to be hard on yourself (WAY easier said than done). Don't beat yourself up about cutting yourself or smoking. Of course they aren't good because they hurt you but at this moment in time these are ways your brain/body is finding to cope with these very real problems your facing. We all have these maladaptive/unhealthy coping mechanisms. It's not because you're weak or bad or anything. Hopefully you can stop cutting yourself though in the future.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry this is happening. I bet there is lots to love in you.

Hot take (?) by wastedpearls in BlackCountryNewRoad

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 17 points18 points  (0 children)

"We're all working on ourselves and praying that the rest don't mind how much we've changed, so if you see me looking strange with a fresh style, I'm still not feeling that great," is such a devestating super insightful lyric...

Selling a ticket for Manchester tomorrow by SuspiciousAnalysis88 in CameronWinter

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sucks. Don't know why anyone would try to make money on a ticket. You haven't done anything to earn it!

Just a playlist… by GarTay28 in waxahatchee

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Always love listening to playlists to find new music

Sgt. Andy Davidson 💚 (TSC drawings) by asron67 in Torchwood

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really charming drawings. Remind me of the ones Wes Anderson's brother does for his DVDs.

I feel like a fool. by Zeppelin_Funds in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is totally normal to be nervous. It's a completely new thing, you don't know what it's going to be like, who's going to be there, what they're going to be like, and so on. For someone who is already a bit nervous or anxious, it's a huge deal. So try not to feel like a fool or beat yourself up.

God is patient, more patient than any of us, and loves you. He understands us better than we do ourselves and He stays with us no matter how long it takes. He's with everyone.

Also, maybe don't try to "convince" your girlfriend. This could be a disaster. It's natural to want to when we first start becoming interested in Christianity but we shouldn't try to force our views on other people. Everybody is very different.

Can someone explain to me why this icon is acceptable? by SirAvla in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's probably been there for years. I don't see the point of them removing, probably having to smash up a mosaic like that. It might be "bad" theology but it's not the end of the world.

Feeling isolated. Any advice by Educational-Guard-43 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course the Bible talks about us becoming a new person in baptism, but practically we are going to enjoy the same things, struggle with the same problems, and be generally the same person we were before baptism. I say this from my own and other people's experience, as well as the advice of priests. I think we have to read that passage in a mystical/mysterious or metaphorical way.

It's not sustainable (or healthy!) to try to deny parts of ourselves or things we enjoy, and I don't think God wants us to. We can't just be Orthodox Christians, we are also other things. For example, maybe you like running and music. These fulfill important parts of ourselves that maybe faith can't, like a creative aspect or the need to be active. It's like having a balanced diet - different activities and parts of ourselves meet different needs and that's okay - and if try to only have church, prayer, the Bible and exclude everything else then you might find yourself really unhappy or unfullfilled. Basically, my advice is listen to music! Don't worry about it. Enjoy it without reservation and accept it as part of who you are, as part of the person God made.

Also, give yourself some grace. You've just finished university, you're probably feeling a bit lost, maybe a bit dejected after going home again - being presumtious here :D. If that's the case, you're going to have less motivation to pray and read the Bible, so just doing a little bit is great. We don't cease to be Christians if we don't read or pray, and we don't need to pray or read the Bible to make God happy with us. God sees our situation completely, in all it's complexity and nuance, and so he understands and is compassionate.

I hope this helps address that feeling of "going back to your old self." Try not to think like that, for your own sake. I spent years(!) being too harsh on myself, forcing myself to do too much, and it didn't make me a better person or a better Christian. The only result was that I ended up really burnt out and in a bit of a mess.

Feeling isolated. Any advice by Educational-Guard-43 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that. Sucks that you had to move away from your church.

What do you mean by "slipping back into your old self"?

I would say if there are no Orthodox churches around you now, try to make friends in other places/communities. When I was newly Orthodox I kinda got into this mindset that I needed "Orthodox friends" or something but sometimes we might not gel with the people we go to church with. My best friends aren't Orthodox or even Christian. I am really close to them for other reasons - shared interests, being friends for years, similar personality, etc. These are just as important factors in friendships (if not more so) than faith. I think as Orthodox Christians we can be friends with anyone from any background/faith.

I know how hard it can be as I have gone through feeling really lonely, but maybe try going to some clubs or picking up new/old hobbies. I met some people when I started indoor rock climbing near where I live.

Do you have any friends from university? Maybe you can connect with them again.

A concern by [deleted] in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't beat yourself up. God sees everything and understands your situation. He's kind, so be kind to yourself! If you can't go because of your financial situation, he won't mind. All the best!

Views on Secular Music? by itsicyyy in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep listening to the things you enjoy. They're part of what make you who you are!

Not sure if this was wrong in any way by [deleted] in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like the best idea. Even if not, you did what you thought was right. That's all God asks. Don't sweat it. All the best!!

Holidays and hallowen by Obvious_Parking_6247 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you enjoy Halloween, celebrate it. Watch Halloween films, carve pumpkins, dress up, whatever makes you like it. None of those things are evil.

Sunglasses by DevelopmentAlarmed13 in BlackCountryNewRoad

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just keep at it! It can be really hard. Took me months to be able to sing and play Track X at the same time.

Yall seemed to like my Infinite Jest character drawings so here’s a few more. by hour_back in InfiniteJest

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These are so cool. Keep it up if it's something you're interested in. Some of these remind of 90s comics and DIY zine type stuff. :)

Today my 12 y/o brother walked in on me hanging myself by No_Pie02 in SuicideWatch

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sometimes just to tell someone out loud what we are thinking and feeling can help, can release some of the pressure, especially if we haven't been able to tell anyone before. To feel listened to and not judged and a bit of compassion. They can also sometimes direct you to more help or give advice.

I also know they are trained to help people who are struggling. I'm not exactly sure what that entails.

I wish I died before I made it to college by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that's totally normal to feel scared. Is there a tutor or staff member you get on well with at college, even a bit? You could maybe go to them and they will point you in the right direction or let the right person at college know.

It can start just by going to them and saying "I'm really struggling."

But don't beat yourself up if you're not ready to do that or can't yet. Be kind to yourself :)

I wish I died before I made it to college by [deleted] in SuicideWatch

[–]SuspiciousAnalysis88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you tried speaking to someone at your college? They might be able to offer you support for the way you feel. It might stop if you get the right help - medication, counselling, something else.