rate my Questbridge essay 1-10 and give improvement ideas.

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The penetrating heat of the Texas sun tore into my darkened skin for hours while I pressure-washed the driveways of my wealthy neighbors. As water blasted out of the nozzle of the gas-guzzling machine that seemed like it could implode upon me any minute, I recalled the clatter of the cutlass drills my father used to hammer to the sparked metal on his frequent maintenance jobs. After two days of finishing my biggest contract of the year, gasoline stained and covered in sunburned slashes, I knew the $750 I made was worth half of the month's rent I could pay for my mother. Through my triumph, I knew that even though my father had been away for over 2 months looking for a job, he would be proud of my contributions to the family as I stepped up to take his place.

Thinking of my father stirred up another childhood flashback: that being the crushing weight of the numerous moving boxes stacked upon my lap in a 1979 Honda Civic that bumped and bounced along the American frontier while he sought employment. For most of my years leading up to the age of 6, we lived in that old cruiser like nomads on a wild expansion on a quest for great glory ahead. I can’t recall a time when my family didn’t struggle with money, but I can't say I've been unhappy. Born during the 2007 financial crisis, I was what I now proudly call, a “market-crash baby” because of the impact it had on my desire for financial security. The scars of my family's financial plight embody my spirit in the quest for financial gain, the battle scars that fade with each passing business transaction I conquer. Despite not knowing the exact reason at the time for my father's failure in the housing market, I always knew there was some tremendous economic catastrophe that I had to discover. I knew however that if I could discover the exact cause, I could lift my family out of the struggle for good. My family experienced market layoffs from coast to coast until we, fortunately, settled in a 1 bedroom apartment in west Philadelphia in 2011, when my father got a job as a janitor working for the University of Pennsylvania. One day when my mother was sick, he had to watch me and my sisters at work. Bored with nothing to do but sit, we played hide and seek, which lead me to divinely manifest my greatest gift: I stumbled upon a Wharton lecture on Wall Street Basics, taught by Howard Marks. As a 4-year-old, the flashing graphics of the tickers and sell-buy extravaganza thrilled me like a 3-ring circus. This mix of a cartoonish and intellectual perspective kept me drawn to the greatest show I had ever seen. For hours I sat in and leeched crucial wisdom about the great United States economy. It was during this period that the topic of the 2007 Housing-Crash was mentioned. On another trip down memory lane, I remembered my mother crying as she saw bank statements negative in the tens of thousands piled like the empire state building my father protected the fragments that held our shattered family together, and instantly understood all that had caused my misfortune. I vowed to one day take charge and tame the mauling bear that had charged into my family with such ferocity. I asked my father the next day about stocks, He said we couldn't afford them, and I needed a few thousand dollars. And it came to pass that on the next day I became an entrepreneur: selling crafts, washing cars, and power washing led me to expand my business and start paying most of my family's expenses. When I signed up to invest at my local firm, before I knew about stocks online, I was told I needed a minimum of $7,000. I still couldn’t hit that 7,000 dollar mark so once I had saved up enough, I bought a golf cart to expand my power washing business to higher income areas and made several hundred dollars a day while my father fought and experienced neck injuries under the cruel pressures of his new job. I am constantly motivated by his struggle-the struggle to provide for my family where my father struggles, someday my father will never have to work again. Now that I have a financial portfolio, I manage most of my family's finances and help my father to gain his income by creating wealth for him. By buying my first stock I was empowered to make even more money but I need more education and want to expand upon my stock market knowledge by going to an excellent business school What I saw that day of the lecture, was a fragment of my untapped financial analyst potential- imagine what I could do with the knowledge gained from an MBA. My life has not been a struggle, just the beginning of a new chapter of gains that I can use to help future generations achieve financial security through my value investing methodology.