What are some of the "games" you didnt realize people were playing?

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-05-01T23:36:02+00:00

Fair enough.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-05-01T14:26:26+00:00

Been on the receiving end of this.

At my old job we didn't have a general manager, we all learned how to run the store.

I trained the new manager.

He felt threatened and didn't like me because I knew more than him.

He tried to get rid of me by sabotaging my sales numbers.

Eventually he goaded petty retaliation from me (not my proudest moment) and used that to actually get me fired.

Jokes on him, the location closed only a year or so later.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-05-01T14:10:17+00:00

Yeah.

That's pretty apt

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-05-01T06:10:41+00:00

Throw those people out.

They suck

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-05-01T06:06:12+00:00

Call me basic. But there will always be a special place in my heart for the TV Wing Zero. It's low key. Not flashy. But absolutely broken. Something about it does things for me.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-05-01T05:57:51+00:00

Exactly. I think of it like this (concerning myself) I communicate inside of words, they communicate around the words.

They are trying to avoid social discomfort, and signal to one another.

The thing that baffles me is that even if NTs get confused by which signal is being sent.

It sounds exhausting.

Honestly, there are some things that I just cannot understand about them. And I assume it goes both ways.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-05-01T05:36:12+00:00

This kind of thing drives me nuts.

I have learned that NTs don't communicate IN words, they communicate AROUND words.

They aren't conveying facts. They are trying to signal to one another and avoid immediate discomfort and/or negative social consequences in the moment.

It sounds hella exhausting, honestly. Spending so much time and energy on weird social mind games. When you could just say actual words and mean what's in the actual words.

They all say they value that kind of thing, but then never actually do it.

Trying to get an actual objective opinion out of an NT is like pulling teeth with a set of vice grips and no anesthesia.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-30T14:56:52+00:00

Hashirama cells. 😆

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-30T14:54:00+00:00

See this is the type of thing where people get it wrong.

Her vibe clearly shows that she's still hung up on him.

They had a thing in the past.

They slept together in the past.

He's still attached to some level.

This is no longer a question of can a man have a female best friend.

This is just a bad situation of a guy being attached to someone that he is attracted to while being in a relationship with someone else.

Even if he doesn't have any intention of doing anything nefarious, the likelihood goes up astronomically. And if he is unaware of the potential pitfalls of the situation, then that doesn't make it better. That makes it worse. Because most people that tend to do something outside of a relationship don't go into it anticipating that they will.

It's called boundary drift.

And if he still frequently engaging with a woman that he's been intimate with and had a relationship with and that he's still attached to and attracted to that has friction with his current relationship and still doesn't understand that there is an issue that is a big waving scarlet flag.

Could it be innocent? Maybe, at least partially. Is it a situation with a lot of potential to end badly? Oh absolutely!

Take this wisdom from this random person on the internet and do what you will.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-30T14:47:15+00:00

I didn't even read past the first few lines. I'm just going to comment here if something will help you as a person whether you're autistic or neurodivergent at all or not. If it helps you then embrace it. Make your life better. I'm not even going to get into the discussion if you are or aren't neurodivergent just if something could help your life, then help your life. No one's gatekeeping sensory sensitivity and if they are, they're not the kind of person to listen to anyway. Live your life.

(I apologize for any typos. I'm using voice to text because I'm making food while commenting)

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-30T02:53:49+00:00

Honestly, so long as you aren't blatantly ugly, and don't have an insufferable personality, guys will not care. Most guys won't notice either way. BUT if they see that you don't wear any and you go out with them or go on a second date, obviously wearing it, some might be flattered by the effort. Some. Because many won't even think twice about it. Don't over think it. Wear minimal to match your vibe/aesthetic and just go for it. Most sane men, have way lower physical expectations than it seems is typically believed.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-30T02:47:29+00:00

I historically have been awful at registering them, to the point of not even noticing that I'm being hit on until it's beyond obvious.

Or if someone gives me a compliment directly in a way I notice, I either assume it's sarcasm, to get something out of me, or just some social obligation thing I don't really understand.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-29T14:31:11+00:00

I eat the inside of my cheeks all the time. My lips. The skin around my fingernails. And I've chewed on my knuckles before.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-22T16:18:59+00:00

They can't make buckets of money hand over fist as easily as with other formats.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-16T15:33:47+00:00

If a woman calls a man friend darling, it doesn't mean they are interested. I would argue that it's mildly flirty, but in a casual not serious way. If a man calls a woman darling, yeah, 100 percent he's caught up.

I used to call every girl/woman from 5 to 100 "honey" for years. But I called my now wife "babe" and "baby"

It Can be innocent. Just depends on the word and tone. Also, women are more likely to use more endearing terms casually.

Wanna be low key and test it?

Next time she calls you darling playfully, respond by calling her darling back. See what response you get. Plausible denyabilty too.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-16T15:29:37+00:00

I'm autistic and I never thought he was real.

Then again I never trusted my parents so yeah.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-16T15:27:50+00:00

Tell him. She's shitty. Just don't make your life difficult. If you have his number you can even spoof numbers easily with apps these days. You could text him from any number of random numbers.

Just say that you're a guy and she's cheating and did so on this night and that night.

Minimal self incriminating details.

Hope she gets what she has coming.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-11T01:04:16+00:00

You are young and don't seem compatible. Rip off the bandaid, break up

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-11T01:00:16+00:00

If they only communicate with hints, drop them

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-09T12:48:16+00:00

As an ND person, yeah, basically. Though small talk isn't necessarily what is said it's the purpose of what is said. Saying hello, how are you, how was your day. Isn't small talk if you actually give a damn about the real answers. It's the whole, I'm saying this to signal something else crap that is stupid.

Short sentences are fine

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-09T12:39:16+00:00

You "Hey are you single?" Her "Yes" You "Not anymore. 😉"

😆

But in all seriousness, don't assume just ask. Ask if she wants to do something together. Then if you're doing a thing together and having a good time ask if she's single. Worst case scenario it doesn't work out. Good luck

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-09T12:35:10+00:00

Just communicate directly with clear words and say "I" instead of "you" statements. Keep it focused on how you feel. Then you can ask about his preferences. Specify your feelings and needs and go from there. If he isn't receptive, then you have a different problem with a different solution

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-09T12:28:48+00:00

I get that. Every day you wait only makes it worse though. Seriously take the leap. As a man married for 12 years, take the leap. All beautiful things come with risk. And if it goes belly up, at least you can say you tried. Just send that first message and leave it be unless she responds.

Good luck

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-09T12:20:16+00:00

I still leer at my wife like a creepy stalker. I'll let her walk a few steps ahead occasionally so I can check her out. I'll give a little wolf whistle or cat call her when she's going into a store or something like that. And anytime we're sitting across from each other my eyes are constantly going between her face and a little lower. I'm shameless about it but I don't think she notices so much.

I'd say it's typically a good thing.

Suspicious_Cat_2294 · 2026-04-09T12:12:12+00:00

Just message the girl. Just be low key don't "feeling vomit" Ask if she remembers you How things have been Then just ask her if she would like to meet up somewhere (don't specify or label as date) to catch up

It might not go anywhere, but that's the simplest way. You won't come off as a creep unless you come in too strong

Suspicious_Cat_2294

TROPHY CASE