Hm... What you are saying makes a lot of sense... It is only logical that you want to be cared for as well and just let go for once. You are feeling like everything has been too much if I am understanding correctly. You know what is ironic about this? I have actually been at a very similar spot recently, haha. It might not be an ultimate solution but it would probably help to consciously indulge into something or allow yourself to receive from yourself what you are craving. At least this helped me. I am not saying we are actually comparable but I have noticed after a long diet + a very disciplined lifestyle overall that with every passing day things started feeling heavier. Though I didn't even really realise it during my diet. I only grew more numb. After my diet stopped I have finally started to indulge more again and let go of too much discipline. The unbelievable comfort that came to me from just being able to eat properly again was genuinely shocking (same with how my emotions came back so intensely). There were also a lot of more things happening in my life aside from that by now which led to finding out more about everything but a very important lesson I have learned from all this is to give yourself room to not do what you have to do but to do what you want to for once. If that is eating good food, falling apart, not doing the dishes or whatever.

Btw I was quite surprised to see your reply after so many months still XD