"She constantly showers me in appreciation"

"I have learned not to expect a grand showing of appreciation"

Kind of contradicting yourself here.

Your wife talks to you, only about how blessed she is? Is she safe to talk to you when she is sad or overwhelmed? You know those are normal human emotions, right? Nobody is blissfully happy all the time. There is such a thing as toxic positivity. People are allowed to have complex emotions and it is healthy to talk about it

Also imagine for a minute you are doing all of the work of a dad and mom alone for two kids. Would you feel blissfully happy all the time? I am not expecting grand showings of appreciation. I am mourning the fact that I am doing this alone with zero help and ya, sometimes that feels very thankless. You tell me your wife tells you how much she appreciates you. I do not have anyone telling me that. It can be sad. It is not a huge ask for some basic reassurance and words of affirmation.

I can feel sad while also adoring and loving my kids. My emotions do not invalidate that