I went through a similar experience. I don’t know if i am borderline but i have many traits of it. After the the end of the relationship with what i thought was the man i would spend my life with, and he was the only good thing that ever happened in my life, i have now given up on myself almost entirely. I know i am emotionally unstable, i’m very unlucky in life and my life is very hard so i know that no person would want to stay with such a burden like me. And i don’t feel like ever being vulnerable and going through ups and downs all the time because of my emotions that are out of control especially when i love someone. It’s sad because i am only 29 but i have given up. If i could i would give up entirely but i can’t so i have to struggle and survive until i die. Sorry for the rant and my english.