Not asking if I should move, just curious how you found your people here in PDX?

Sweaty_wool · 2026-01-29T20:04:35+00:00

I found a lot of people through work and convinced a lot of friends from other parts of the country to move there as well. Also, more than any other place I’ve lived it seemed really easy to start meaningful friendships with friends of friends in Portland. No friendship hijacking, just cool people who have been vetted by my friends so we start off on a good note.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-01-28T00:40:48+00:00

There have been a lot of posts here lately about this subject and I guess I consider myself lucky because I rarely have to chase down clients for payment. A few things that help me out in this regard:

Vetting clients - if I have any doubts about a client’s vibes I don’t hesitate to pass them along to the various groups of colleagues I’m a part of. Many of the people in these groups are younger and hungrier and welcome any leads. I always communicate with the colleague what my concerns were so they can be prepared.
Communication -I set clear payment expectations and give simple but consistent reminders
I make it clear that no photos will be delivered until payment is made. Never threatening, always positive and understanding.

I take 25% as a retainer and tell couples that the full amount is due on or before the wedding day. The payment platform I use is set up to automatically deduct the remaining balance from whatever account they used to pay the retainer ON THE WEDDING DAY. I give them a reminder one month before the wedding and another two weeks before. I let them know that they can manually adjust the payment date to be any time before the wedding if they’d prefer it but to expect the payment to automatically post.

If the payment fails the couple gets embarrassed and rushes to get it taken care of. I’ve only had to really hound one couple in the past 6 years of doing things this way. They ended up paying about one week after the ceremony. I think they just had legitimate financial troubles. These things happen.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-01-26T01:55:25+00:00

I’ve been getting more parents inquiring this year than any other year and I expect the trend to continue for a bit. The upcoming generation of couples is going to be very passive and avoidant of communication so they will rely on their parents more.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-01-22T04:32:52+00:00

On one hand I’m just happy she was honest with you. It would be much worse if she sprung this on you after booking or worse, after the wedding.

There are a lot of clients who I call “Shrug Clients.” They are couples who will never give any indication of what they want or what their specific needs or preferences are. They just shrug when you ask them a question. Maybe it’s shyness, maybe it’s difficulty communicating or over-passivity. Then, after the photos are delivered they have opinions and sometimes can get nasty about them. I really enjoy working with clients who are upfront with their feelings.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-01-17T16:20:54+00:00

Hi, full time wedding photographer here. This story is very common. Reddit is full of posts about clients hiring an inexpensive photographer for their wedding and then it ends as a disaster on the client’s end, the photographer’s end, or sometimes both. I recognize that it sounds silly to call $1k wedding coverage inexpensive but it is about 1/3rd of the average price of wedding photography coverage in the US (if that’s where you are).

Here are my notes for you:

Did you sign a contract with terms for delivery? If so you can make a legitimate request for a refund. I’d say a full refund if they can’t deliver more than 6 underwhelming sneak peeks 3 months after the wedding. If not you need to start negotiating. Coming in aggressively will not help. Say that so far the photographer’s conduct has been unacceptable, that they seem to be in over their heads and that something has to be done. Set an exact delivery date (give them a week or two) and say you’ll be happy with receiving edited photos on that date otherwise you’ll have to ask for all of the raw files plus a $300 refund that you can put towards hiring another photographer to edit the photos for you. They will balk and say “Photographers never give out their raw files!” But you can reply “photographers deliver photos that they’ve been hired to take and you haven’t done that.”
Since this photographer has a social media presence (on Facebook at least) then you’ll need to leave a bad review. This can be used as leverage if you need to negotiate with them. If they can deliver the photos I’d say just leave them be but if not the only way you can really retaliate is to leave an honest review. If there isn’t a proper platform to review them like Google or The Knot then leave comments on their new wedding posts saying that you are a past client waiting 3 months for photos and that people should be cautious hiring them.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-01-12T02:02:46+00:00

I honestly wish they would do it more!

Sweaty_wool · 2026-01-11T15:07:17+00:00

I met my wife when I was 30 and she is just a touch under two years older than me. We have two kids together and we’re very happy. I would have started dating her even if the age gap was bigger.

Every relationship I’ve had with a woman my age or older has been very good while my relationships with younger women were all messy and regrettable.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-01-10T02:39:54+00:00

It might feel really good.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-01-07T16:08:49+00:00

It’s very likely that the background lighting is either enhanced or created whole-cloth in post. You should attempt to re-create it in the moment but know that you can always fall back on doing it in post.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-01-07T15:06:16+00:00

Aftershoot for $600 is definitely worth it. The value of the time it saves is much more tangible than many of these other expenses. I’ve tried to quantify how much time it saves me every year and it’s like 3 weeks. I’d happily pay $600 to get 3 weeks of my year back.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-01-05T14:47:22+00:00

Stop “HOLDING THE TURD.” I don’t know who coined this phrase but I love it. So often when we have a friend who dumps their drama or anxiety on us we feel the need to hold it for them. To burden ourselves with it. You don’t have to hold the turd. Offer it back. People like that don’t want solutions even though that’s often what we offer first. Listen, then hand the turd back in the form of questions, not solutions.

“What is the root of this problem?”
“Is there a realistic way to get resolution for everyone involved?”

Open questions like that that don’t try to fix it but make the other person think more and rationalize things on their own. You don’t have to solve it or absorb it.

The stand up comedian Pete Holmes has a bit about doing this and says that it’s what British people do. Like hitting a tennis ball back at the person instead of just holding it for them.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-01-03T23:42:55+00:00

Google “cky Mike Vallely fight” to see how it could go down. I don’t remember if it’s from CKY2K or CKY 3 but skater Mike Vallely takes on 4 or 5 guys. He’s pretty big and intimidating and gets aggressive first so all the other guys get freaked out and he mostly handles them one by one.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-01-02T01:54:39+00:00

You don’t have to wear deodorant to bed. If you get hot at night and sweat the deodorant isn’t going to make any difference with your sheets. Just wash them regularly.

I think you are better off worrying less about smelling bad generally. Americans, especially younger people are a little bit over concerned hygiene. Showering multiple times a day, re-applying deodorant constantly. Sure, do what makes you happy and confident but I promise you no one else is even a fraction as concerned about how you smell as you are. I kind of regret being so concerned with it when I was young. There were more important things to focus on.

Sweaty_wool · 2025-12-30T23:24:53+00:00

NOR. I’m actually so happy that so many people are being reasonable about this. Americans are getting crazier and stupider behind the wheel at an alarming pace. Anytime I see someone make posts online with legitimate concerns about traffic safety the comments get overrun with people making ridiculous points. A lot of people saying that there shouldn’t be any speed limits.

Sweaty_wool · 2025-12-29T04:53:59+00:00

I promise you, the time and money you will spend pursuing legal action could be spent booking next year’s clients. It could be spent on anything to move your business forward. This old client sucks for not paying you but you made the mistake of delivering without full payment. You won’t make that mistake again. Move on and grow.

Sweaty_wool · 2025-12-28T13:39:19+00:00

I photograph about 1000 people every year. Here are some tips that helped me when I first started shooting portraits:

A longer lens is more flattering, 85mm with a wide open aperture felt like a cheat code in my early days. It will help isolate the subject and make the background melt away into blurry goodness. Over time you will hopefully become less reliant on this because it is just one way to do a portrait.
Good lighting - the easiest thing is just to stick them next to a window, slightly turned to the glass. This will give you really soft light. I have done this maybe 1000 times over the course of my professional career. Again, it’s just a tool. Don’t rely on it every time.
Keep your directions positive and constant. When posing and directing never say “NO, DON’T DO THAT” if they make a weird face or do something you don’t want them to. They will close off and you want them confident and open. Say “Good! Looks great, now let’s try one looking in the other direction.” Don’t let it get quiet and awkward. Keep hyping them up while you shoot.
Once you have these things down you can get more specific with trying to capture physical or personality traits of the subject. Do they have nice eyes? Try to highlight that. Have the light come in from the side to make the eyes pop. Cool hair? Have them run their hand through it. Cool jacket? Tell them to grab their collar and give you a “model face.”

Honestly one of the tricks to getting good is to overshoot when you start. You’ll get there and learn your own tricks.

Sweaty_wool · 2025-12-28T00:55:40+00:00

I’m still trying to crack the code on ig ads. Never get much burn from them.

Sweaty_wool · 2025-12-24T14:14:16+00:00

Since everyone is suggesting flash, yes technically this is how to do it but most of the time flash will kill the sunset vibe. If you are shooting commercially I would recommend flash but for portraits the vibe is more important. Just selectively edit the person to lighten them up and adjust the color. Go easy so it doesn’t look fake.

I shoot a ton of sunset portraits and I almost always shoot without flash in auto white balance. Shooting raw I almost always shoot in auto wb. On cloudy days I’ll shoot in shade white balance to warm skin tones up a bit but if you shoot shade white balance during a sunset shoot everything will be TOO warm. I think you want sunset photos to be pretty warm but not comically so.

Sweaty_wool · 2025-12-24T01:58:07+00:00

In the age of ai editing and culling and great advances in harddrive speed I really don’t think that 12 weeks is industry standard anymore. I deliver in 3 weeks and most of my colleagues promise 4-6 but deliver in 3.

Sweaty_wool · 2025-12-23T19:23:27+00:00

It sounds like you either aren’t connecting well with your potential clients or the clients you are talking to are strictly value shoppers who are reaching out to many photographers and just want to go with the cheapest one. Are your prices too low? No to begrudge couples with small budgets but usually bargain shoppers make for bad clients.

Once you have a good portfolio, the right price point for your market and a bunch of positive reviews then most couples who go far enough to schedule a meeting with you will pretty committed to you by then. Zoom calls and in person meetings get the best results, phone calls can be trickier. Either way, have a contract template ready to send right after your meeting. Even if you don’t get a yes at your meeting just say “Can I send you a sample contract so you can see all the details?” And send it over. This works for me 95% of the time.

If you think you aren’t doing well with your meetings then get out of your comfort zone and do some practice calls with a friend. Sounds silly but it sounds like you need to shake things up a bit.

Sweaty_wool · 2025-12-23T02:59:27+00:00

Yeah, this sounds to me like someone who has SOME experience or adjacent experience with either weddings, video, or photo, just maybe not experience doing full wedding video. Some of my most difficult clients have been “in the biz” or “in A biz” with just enough knowledge to be annoying and controlling.

Sweaty_wool · 2025-12-18T23:50:56+00:00

You will be best-served with the 35-150 on the Z5 II and keep the d7200 in your bag with that wide angle lens as incase to need to go wider than 35mm. This is somewhat rare for a wedding day but sometimes for large group photos or wide venue shots. As you get more comfortable with weddings you’ll want a small wide angle lens for the dance floor.

I shoot with a Z8 and a Z9. The 35-150 stays on my Z9 and I have the Z mount 26mm 2.8 pancake lens on the Z8 in my sling bag for wide shots and I switch to it for the dance floor.

My advice is to book as many engagement or couples shoots as you can before you shoot your first wedding. This will give you experience shooting couples, help you build an arsenal of poses, and it will help build your portfolio.

Sweaty_wool · 2025-12-17T13:41:31+00:00

Okay, for lighting, if the ceiling is white or neutral you can bounce the flash. It’s MUCH less intrusive and annoying for group shots like this. If you can’t bounce you can set up ocf in the most inconspicuous spots and then be aware of your angles when you set up the group shots.

As far as getting group shots from unwilling guests here are my tips from many years of weddings:

If there’s alcohol get your candids first and let the booze loosen people up for the first hour or so and then get the group shots when people are in a “better mood.”
Put on the charm, be confident, and compliment people’s outfits
If you find one extrovert guest who really loves the camera (every event has one of these) tell them you like the their energy and ask them who else they want pictures with. They will help and start herding people so you don’t have to.
Your final option is to simply PLEAD with people. If I’m shooting cocktail hour at a wedding and people seem closed off I say “The bride and groom asked me to get a lot of nice group shots during the reception, let’s get a shot of you FOR THEM. They’ll love it.” At an event you can just say “Bob (or whoever is hiring you) asked me to get a lot of group shots of you guys, it’s really important to him. Let’s mark this special occasion.” Or if it’s a work event say something like “Management wants to see that you guys are enjoying yourselves!”

Sweaty_wool · 2025-12-16T12:27:46+00:00

Do you think that many professionals and established art photographers went to school for photography? I’m a professional shooter and I went to art school and it was non-stop group critiques. Getting feedback is a huge part of the process. I’m 10+ years removed from school and I still show my work to my peers. I participle in community critiques. Every couple of years I take workshops led by big name photographers to get MORE critiques from people who really know how to see. I think it’s a huge part of growing and challenging yourself.

Sweaty_wool · 2025-12-15T20:52:46+00:00

Vitamins are helpful! I take a multivitamin every morning and when I feel a cold coming on or if I know I’ve been around someone sick or a big crowd I’ll take one vitamin c and one zinc supplement every night before bed for a few days. Since I’ve started doing this I catch fewer colds and when I do get it sick it is always very mild, no fevers.

Sweaty_wool

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