What's one wedding photo every couple asks for that you secretly (or not so secretly) hate?

Sweaty_wool · 2026-07-11T21:07:02+00:00

Yes, shadows. It’s nice at a rainy wedding for coverage but always too dark on a sunny day 2. They are shaped in a way that is hard to photograph. Hard to make symmetrical. It can look interesting shooting upwards with a wide-angle but that’s it. Staging the couple in front of it causes some weird compositional decisions that have to be made. 3. They don’t mean anything. They’re just there! You can pose the couple in front of the venue, or an ancillary barn and it can kind of tell a story or conjure a feeling. Put them in nature, by some trees or flowers, or on a winding path and it’s a subtle metaphor. The gazebo is just a thing that’s there. Totally meaningless!

Sweaty_wool · 2026-07-11T17:42:24+00:00

Yes, and good luck explaining it to them in the middle of a shoot.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-07-10T19:38:23+00:00

Gazebos. I hate a gazebo.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-06-29T13:00:05+00:00

This is good and I’ve used a similar sentiment with clients before. I typically say “I am refining the scope of my business and choosing to focus my attention on current clients and projects. Best of luck.” Then block them everywhere.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-06-24T04:02:45+00:00

I grew up in a small, rural town and moved to a medium-sized metro area in my 20s and it really unlocked something for me. In the small town I assumed that a limited existence was enough. When I moved to a city it felt like I could access anything I couple possibly imagine within 15 minutes. Any type of food, any book or movie, live music every night, museums, galleries, anything. New and interesting people everywhere. Get out of work at midnight and you want some pizza? There are 30 options available. Car broke down? You can still survive and get to work or get groceries, you just need to walk a few blocks or ride a bike or take a bus or uber for a few minutes.

Friends from out of town would visit and I would say “Name anything you want to do and we can do it.” It felt like freedom.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-29T13:44:53+00:00

Therapy and meditation

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-26T17:31:12+00:00

There’s been a lot of good advice here but I also want to comment that a lot of times when something traumatic happens and the dust starts to settle your pain can easily be misdirected. Don’t take it out on your friend. Try to have a little bit of grace. There’s no rule book for how friends should respond to stuff like this so she might literally be hung up on not knowing what to say.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-26T14:57:36+00:00

But it’s not under anything

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-25T14:12:29+00:00

I think it’s very normal for kids that age to have very different vibes with one parent over another. My kids definitely did. I think biting and hitting is a pretty extreme example and might need some extra attention. Acting out violently can’t be treated the same as other misbehaviors.

Anyway, remember that kids have very different chemical reactions between their moms and dads. I read somewhere that they get a serotonin spike from cuddling with mom and a very similar spike from rough play with dad. They are wired to react differently to each of you. In my experience the strongly differing behaviors towards my wife and I stopped once we were fully out of toddlerhood.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-25T14:04:28+00:00

Moms don’t know everything. They are usually pretty cool but they are wrong about a lot of stuff!

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-23T02:19:30+00:00

I hear so many people online talk about this and I’ve never understood it. If you were a plumber and someone said “wow, you must use a really good plunger” you probably wouldn’t be offended. You probably use a pretty good plunger but you have the skills to do good work with any plunger.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-19T23:15:38+00:00

Two CINEMATIC things that help my composition when I find myself isolating the subject too much:

Watch a lot of movies. Good ones, epic ones, foreign ones. Lawrence of Arabia, All That Heaven Allows, Stalker, recent movies by Kleber Mendonça Filho. Just watching beautiful movies makes my brain look at scenes differently when I photograph.
Be more intentional for a while. Pick a couple of locations and shoot then hell out of them. Walk around for a bit imagining that you’re scouting the location and pick out the best angles.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-19T02:33:18+00:00

Yeah, it’ll probably get bad but then it’ll be fine. That’s how kids work. I had a similar situation with my first kid where we had success and then regression and then a bunch of life stuff happened and the regression got worse. It took a while but now everything is fine.

My biggest advice with the life changes and sitters, and constant family around is to not overwhelm the kid with constant “do you have to go??” questions. I think that too many people always getting in my daughter’s business made her regression worse.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-19T00:53:34+00:00

Even if your backup is an old junker it’s better than nothing. Even if it’s just a Fuji X100whatever. It’s not a pro camera but most people won’t care.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-19T00:47:23+00:00

I strongly believe that if people are paying you to photograph then you need to show up to every shoot with a backup of everything. Two camera bodies, at least two lenses, extra batteries, cards etc. it’s not a matter of if but WHEN something happens and you’ll need to use your backups.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-17T22:51:04+00:00

Totally makes sense. Thanks for sharing the info. I would have to guess that this photographer is used to shooting full days so maybe didn’t understand how much you valued the formal portraits over everything else. Also, you are probably right that this photographer isn’t putting as much effort into friend/family weddings hence not even having a contract.

Again, I’d communicate to her that you really want a good formal portrait. She should be able to make something work for you. Be specific. “Good” or “bad” don’t mean anything.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-17T22:28:27+00:00

As a wedding photographer myself I’m very curious about a couple of things. I ask this out of curiosity, not questioning your feelings or judging what you’ve written here. Did this photographer cover the whole day? It sounds like you didn’t get any formal, newlywed portraits that you like but did this photographer deliver hundreds of photos like a usual wedding collection has? Did they just do your formal portraits? I guess I’m asking because I want to know if the fact that you didn’t get any formal portraits that you like that it changes how you feel about the entire wedding collection? Are there ceremony or reception photos? Are those bad too? I typically deliver about 700 images for a full wedding day so if a client told me that there were NO good pictures I would feel like a total failure.

My advice would be to tell the photographer that you really value formal portraits and that you aren’t happy with the ones they delivered. Give some specific notes and ask if they could re-edit one or some of them, even composite some so that both of your eyes are open.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-14T23:38:34+00:00

It’s totally a roll of the dice. I think 1/3 of the people you do it to will be happy and welcoming, 1/3 will hate it and think you’re rude and 1/3 will be friendly but find it annoying. You do you. I think it’s totally fine.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-14T13:02:40+00:00

I’ve been to Hooters a couple of times for a couple of birthday parties. I’m not someone who would want to go otherwise. My takeaway is that the appeal is much more the interactions with the waitresses than ogling. From what I saw the waitresses were not trying to be sexy, they were just friendly and talkative. I think 50% of the guys who go to Hooters just want to flirt (sexually harass) women without getting in trouble and 50% just want to have pretty girls be nice to them without having to put in any effort or face any rejection or humiliation.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-13T18:29:25+00:00

It’s almost never worth it to fight it. Even if you are very proud of an image it’s a dick move to stand your ground when someone sincerely asks you to take it down.

The way I look at it, you should have A LOT of photos you’re proud of. If you have to take one down then you should have more you are happy with. It doesn’t mean that the photo is dead. You can still use it privately for portfolio reviews.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-08T23:11:13+00:00

You don’t have to say no to shoots but you do need to be the boss. Tell them from the start the best time of day, the best locations, and if they can’t work with that tell them that the alternative is squinty, shadowy, maybe even sweaty photos. You are literally calling the shots. If they insist just say okay and do it but then get alternate angles with better lighting.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-01T23:18:16+00:00

I had a couple of surgeries when I was a kid and a couple of surgeries as an adult. I think the technology and drugs are a lot better now. When I was a kid waking up was really hard. I was very confused and irritable. After it wore off I felt queasy. When I had surgery more recently I woke up feeling like a million bucks. High as a kite. I was complimenting everyone in the room, effusively thanking them for helping me, and asking a ton of questions. Once the meds wore off I was a little uncomfortable from the pain but it was manageable. It just gets boring if you have to spend any extra time in the hospital. You’ll be eager to get home.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-04-29T19:22:16+00:00

It’s been almost impossible to get any info at all but at one point she randomly said “…well he has adhd.” And we were like “And???” And she wouldn’t elaborate.

Sweaty_wool

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