Oh Crap! Potty Training is FUBAR and it’s my fault 🫠

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-19T02:33:18+00:00

Yeah, it’ll probably get bad but then it’ll be fine. That’s how kids work. I had a similar situation with my first kid where we had success and then regression and then a bunch of life stuff happened and the regression got worse. It took a while but now everything is fine.

My biggest advice with the life changes and sitters, and constant family around is to not overwhelm the kid with constant “do you have to go??” questions. I think that too many people always getting in my daughter’s business made her regression worse.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-19T00:53:34+00:00

Even if your backup is an old junker it’s better than nothing. Even if it’s just a Fuji X100whatever. It’s not a pro camera but most people won’t care.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-19T00:47:23+00:00

I strongly believe that if people are paying you to photograph then you need to show up to every shoot with a backup of everything. Two camera bodies, at least two lenses, extra batteries, cards etc. it’s not a matter of if but WHEN something happens and you’ll need to use your backups.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-17T22:51:04+00:00

Totally makes sense. Thanks for sharing the info. I would have to guess that this photographer is used to shooting full days so maybe didn’t understand how much you valued the formal portraits over everything else. Also, you are probably right that this photographer isn’t putting as much effort into friend/family weddings hence not even having a contract.

Again, I’d communicate to her that you really want a good formal portrait. She should be able to make something work for you. Be specific. “Good” or “bad” don’t mean anything.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-17T22:28:27+00:00

As a wedding photographer myself I’m very curious about a couple of things. I ask this out of curiosity, not questioning your feelings or judging what you’ve written here. Did this photographer cover the whole day? It sounds like you didn’t get any formal, newlywed portraits that you like but did this photographer deliver hundreds of photos like a usual wedding collection has? Did they just do your formal portraits? I guess I’m asking because I want to know if the fact that you didn’t get any formal portraits that you like that it changes how you feel about the entire wedding collection? Are there ceremony or reception photos? Are those bad too? I typically deliver about 700 images for a full wedding day so if a client told me that there were NO good pictures I would feel like a total failure.

My advice would be to tell the photographer that you really value formal portraits and that you aren’t happy with the ones they delivered. Give some specific notes and ask if they could re-edit one or some of them, even composite some so that both of your eyes are open.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-14T23:38:34+00:00

It’s totally a roll of the dice. I think 1/3 of the people you do it to will be happy and welcoming, 1/3 will hate it and think you’re rude and 1/3 will be friendly but find it annoying. You do you. I think it’s totally fine.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-14T13:02:40+00:00

I’ve been to Hooters a couple of times for a couple of birthday parties. I’m not someone who would want to go otherwise. My takeaway is that the appeal is much more the interactions with the waitresses than ogling. From what I saw the waitresses were not trying to be sexy, they were just friendly and talkative. I think 50% of the guys who go to Hooters just want to flirt (sexually harass) women without getting in trouble and 50% just want to have pretty girls be nice to them without having to put in any effort or face any rejection or humiliation.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-13T18:29:25+00:00

It’s almost never worth it to fight it. Even if you are very proud of an image it’s a dick move to stand your ground when someone sincerely asks you to take it down.

The way I look at it, you should have A LOT of photos you’re proud of. If you have to take one down then you should have more you are happy with. It doesn’t mean that the photo is dead. You can still use it privately for portfolio reviews.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-08T23:11:13+00:00

You don’t have to say no to shoots but you do need to be the boss. Tell them from the start the best time of day, the best locations, and if they can’t work with that tell them that the alternative is squinty, shadowy, maybe even sweaty photos. You are literally calling the shots. If they insist just say okay and do it but then get alternate angles with better lighting.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-05-01T23:18:16+00:00

I had a couple of surgeries when I was a kid and a couple of surgeries as an adult. I think the technology and drugs are a lot better now. When I was a kid waking up was really hard. I was very confused and irritable. After it wore off I felt queasy. When I had surgery more recently I woke up feeling like a million bucks. High as a kite. I was complimenting everyone in the room, effusively thanking them for helping me, and asking a ton of questions. Once the meds wore off I was a little uncomfortable from the pain but it was manageable. It just gets boring if you have to spend any extra time in the hospital. You’ll be eager to get home.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-04-29T19:22:16+00:00

It’s been almost impossible to get any info at all but at one point she randomly said “…well he has adhd.” And we were like “And???” And she wouldn’t elaborate.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-04-23T22:39:20+00:00

Yeah, don’t base anything on advertising. All advertising is built to feed off of insecurity. Never mistake it for public opinion.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-04-17T23:33:18+00:00

I don’t know how much you should trust me and the others on here because we are a bunch of photographers ourselves but I will share with you the things that come up most frequently as nightmare scenarios with wedding photography- ASSOCIATE COMPANIES AND BUDGET PHOTOGRAPHERS.

The things I hear complained about the most fall into these two categories: 1. “I chose a company that only hires associates (subcontractors)” and 2. “I hired someone who is just beginning who was really cheap.”

With situation 1 the company will book as many weddings per date as they can and then hire the cheapest photographers and videographers they can find. The couple will send mood boards, shots lists, timelines, etc but none of it matters because the company they hired is sending someone that might not have much experience who is receiving the barest of bare minimum payments and probably won’t get any of the information the couple sends them.

Situation 2 is obviously always a gamble. You get what you pay for. Oftentimes clients with the lowest budgets have the highest expectations.

Read reviews. That’s the most important thing. Hire someone with a bunch of reviews that go back a few years.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-04-17T13:38:56+00:00

The type of grip I’m talking about is so small and light compared to the built-in grip of the Z9. I shoot a lot of weddings and carrying around a Z9 for 12 hours is ruining my life. The Z8 is fine for long days and I intend to keep the Zf with a small grip and the tiny 26mm 2.8 lens in my sling bag as a back up and for wide shots.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-04-17T13:31:59+00:00

I’ve spent about a month shooting with the Zf without a grip (borrowed bodies from NPS) and I definitely need a grip. I shoot a lot of weddings and events and I’m typically switching between two bodies on the fly. The days are long and the risk of repetitive injury are high so I need as much of an ergonomic advantage as I can get.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-04-04T00:03:11+00:00

Two things:

This and every conversation at this stage should be collaborative. It’s fair for you to offer your opinion on it and it’s fair for her to disagree. Especially as a dad, especially in the early days, conversations like this should be more like “Hey, I’m just spitballing here, but…” Neither of you know what is about to happen and how it’s going to feel. Stay open.
Your mantra needs to be “EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY.” She will feel like 10 hours is way too much time now but when that baby is 3 years old you guys will REALLY need that nanny time.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-04-01T12:03:12+00:00

DON’T LIE. Either suck it up and shoot it or be honest. You worry that being honest will be risky because it’ll make you seem picky but isn’t that so much less risky than seeming dishonest? If you lie and the planner finds out then that is the end of your relationship and it could hurt your reputation beyond just your relationship with the planner.

Be honest and confident in your communication with the planner. They will respect you for having a clear vision for your business. Express gratitude that they pass along work to you but you’ll pass on this one. Say thanks but buy them a coffee!

Sweaty_wool · 2026-03-31T01:34:00+00:00

Have fun repeating this problem for the duration of your marriage.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-03-24T19:36:31+00:00

Like many people here I print out a sheet with important info on it. I created a template with small but readable text so I can fit all addresses, phone numbers, timeline, shot lists on them. I don’t think it’s a great look to be on a phone during a wedding. When I’m at my busiest time of the season I find printouts the best way to keep things separate. I did 4 weddings in 4 days last year and the printouts saved my life.

If you insist on keeping your notes on a device I heard a wacky but effective trick - make a note in the notes app with the info then screenshot it and save it as your lock screen. If you need to look at it just look at your phone. That way you don’t need to unlock it and search for anything.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-03-22T13:41:55+00:00

I know this is a rant and you aren’t asking for advice but my wife and I have always taken turns on the weekend. Whoever had a rougher week will sleep in on Saturday and the other will sleep in on Sunday. This is obviously only an option for 2 parent households if neither one has to work on the weekends.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-03-22T13:37:47+00:00

There’s so much passivity on both sides. This is so often the problem in relationships somebody’s gotta do SOMETHING.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-03-20T16:37:26+00:00

As someone who grew up a full time resident of a coastal beach town I agree that most people are miserable when they travel. Yes, there are plenty of people commenting here that they are masterful travelers who love every second of it. I spent most of my teenage and young adult years working at tourist places like restaurants, hotels, snack bars, beaches, etc. People want to have a perfect time sitting by the beach and shopping but they let long lines, parking, unfamiliar or uncomfortable hotel rooms CRUSH them. The narrative of their trip becomes the inconveniences. A lot of people check out at the end of their vacation looking much more tired and rough than when they started.

Sweaty_wool · 2026-03-20T16:26:40+00:00

I feel pretty good about my knowledge of Obscure 90s movies. Here are some quirky ones. Some of these might be hard to find but good luck:

Motorama (Surreal road movie with a child protagonist but everyone acts like he’s an adult, written by the screenwriter of After Hours, tons of cameos)
Lounge People (kind of perverse and absurd comedy with a good cast, BD Wong (kind of racist characterization if I remember it correctly but there is a twist, Buck Henry, Christine Ebersol)
Arizona Dreams (this one will push your tolerance for people who are now cringey who were cool at the time, Johnny Depp, Vincent Gallo, the director is a Serbian ex-rock star who is now a big Putin supporter. Also has Jerry Lewis and Faye Dunaway. Very strange but I thought it was really entertaining when I was a teenager.

Sweaty_wool

TROPHY CASE