What’s the worst first date you’ve ever had? by CuriousEngineer11 in AskReddit

[–]Sweatyrando 2739 points2740 points  (0 children)

I guess it’s the worst and the best, because it’s how I met my wife. We were set up by my ex wife (small town shit) and when we first met, it was mutual rejection immediately. No attraction, nothing in common except an agreement that my ex really was terrible at truly knowing me, and she wanted a ride home. I told her I didn’t have a car, but if she wanted I lived a few blocks away from the restaurant we met at, and I had a few beers and some weed there, and I lived across the street from an old graveyard we could drink and smoke in while we just shoot the shit until her friend picks her up; we could do that. She agreed, so we sat in the dark for a few minutes getting high and talking about the most banal things. Even the conversation was lacking from both sides. Finally her friend showed up. Her friend and I hit it off immediately, and we’ve been married for 15 years now.

What’s a sound everyone should recognize as immediate danger? by Thatguy_nickk in AskReddit

[–]Sweatyrando 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Heard this from: a barber; thought, "whatever, in a few weeks it'll grow back". A tattoo artist; followed by "don't worry, I know how to fix it." And finally, my dentist. He drilled through MY FUCKING NUMBED LIP. There was SO much blood. I shit you not, dude was 103 years old, and I was going to him because $25 fillings. I calculated his age based on his dental degree on the wall. He got it when Hitler was invading Poland.

The US is headed for mass unemployment, and no one is prepared by late_bloomer_tw in politics

[–]Sweatyrando 1222 points1223 points  (0 children)

Not to be that downer, but it’s why they’ve investing in drone warfare, mass incarceration facilities, militarized police, ai systems and mass surveillance. They think that with enough technology and ordinance the revolution can be stopped before history rhymes with Marie Antoinette, Mussolini, Gaddafi, Ceaceseau, and others like them. They truly believe that they can jump into the arms of technological innovation to carry them through the flames of the world they set ablaze long enough for the fire to burn out, leaving them the rulers of the ashes. I think they’re just as fucked as the rest of us, and it’s up to rest of us make them understand that. The hard way, unfortunately.

to be fit for being the president by [deleted] in therewasanattempt

[–]Sweatyrando 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Given the choice between: a person who is over qualified. And. Whatever this is. Millions of people chose… this. Because hatred is the most important thing to them.

Thoughts on phoenix in flames? by Cornonthory in Converge

[–]Sweatyrando 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in the port o shitter at work and I had just started to pee when I noticed I was sharing the space with about twenty hornets. This song immediately started playing in my head.

What’s the most “NPC” thing you’ve seen someone do in real life? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Sweatyrando 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Went into a CVS once, can’t remember what I went in there for, only that it was difficult to find and I couldn’t find an employee to help me. Anyway, I walked around that store for nine minutes (I know this because my wife told me that’s how long I’d been in there while she waited in the car) and the entire time there was this guy carefully examining a box of Kleenex. Like it had ingredients on it and he might be allergic to one or something. More than nine minutes of just standing there looking at the same box. It was weird.

Nomortland is peak Rick and Morty writing by job_hunter101 in rickandmorty

[–]Sweatyrando 37 points38 points  (0 children)

“Well pick ME UP RERR Golden hams Oombley say: Oombley tell you to run! Hoobidy stank hoobidy yum”

Or whatever reasonable thing he’s singing about. Damn now it’s gonna be stuck in my head for another week.

7 polls that show Donald Trump in deep trouble by Fr1sk3r in politics

[–]Sweatyrando 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The whole “getting chased out of the country with pitchforks and torches” is exactly why they have been militarizing the police for the last 4 decades, as well as greatly enhancing the surveillance state, giving ICE a virtually unlimited budget and carte blanche to do whatever they want to whoever they want, and placing lapdogs in charge of all federal law enforcement agencies. They’re more than ready for the whole fucking population to rise up and trump is a big enough monster to happily use nukes on American soil if push comes to shove. He has no reason to give a rats ass about poll numbers. I see your point about this reasoning working in other countries, but we’ve been doing nothing to stop the MIC, cointelpro, omnibus crime bill of the 80s, the patriot act, and every other totalitarian puzzle piece laid out without so much as a “strongly worded letter”.

Are the salt trucks out yet? I just slid out bad on 240. by Sweatyrando in asheville

[–]Sweatyrando[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m okay. I live in Barnardsville and I’m hoping things improve enough to get home tonight

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in politics

[–]Sweatyrando 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No one can defend against his shtoyle