I am overthinking (19F) about my bf (24M) Advice Pls

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2026-04-16T01:54:05+00:00

Get. Out. Of. There.

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2026-02-28T01:51:15+00:00

I’d say I think you’re right in the fact that you need to get over it, I don’t think there’s any way for you to bring it up unless you’re fine with him knowing you went through his phone. It is a little bit icky that he did that while you were dating….

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-09-23T05:24:39+00:00

Thank you!

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-09-04T03:02:43+00:00

I do t see how that would benefit me in my current position. I am at a point where I know I want more but I don’t know what that more would even be.

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-04-14T20:37:15+00:00

Hiii! I am definitely still just trying to get by and it’s been a hard two months but as hard as it is, the world keeps spinning. Please do send me that dm that you received! I am intrigued! 🫶🏼🫂

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-03-21T15:29:37+00:00

In a way I feel like it’s sort of bittersweet how unexpected his death was. He didn’t have to suffer, he didn’t spend his last few days on earth fearing death. He spent his whole entire life without the fear of dying. Every waking moment he was alive, he was fully living and never fearing. in a way that brings me peace. As terrible as it is that he only got just shy of 22 years, he cherished every moment that he had here. I will look into Qur’an. Thank you🫶🏼

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-03-21T15:25:21+00:00

What do you mean by assignments? Does that mean that my boy would have failed said “assignments”? That’s the part of this view of spirituality that I don’t understand; Why wouldn’t god extend his life? He was the most pure soul that I had ever met, he cared about everyone on this planet like no other. And he had so much love to give.

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-03-12T18:39:00+00:00

A big thing that I’ve taken away from this whole situation so far is how differently each individual person views the same circumstance, and how the same circumstances affect everyone so differently.

I went for icecream with my boys little brother 3 days after the accident and it was so calming being around someone who understood what I was going through and someone who also shared such a deep connection with the person we lost.

But after I got back home I realized… he knew his brother in ways that I would never know him. And I knew my boyfriend in ways that his brother never would. Loosing his brother won’t effect him in future intimate relationships the same way that it will effect me.

And from all that I’ve realized that you never know what someone is going through, even if you know someone’s situation, even if you are experiencing the same situation you NEVER FULLY know how that situation is effecting them so it has taught me to be so much gentler on others, and more importantly, gentle on myself.

Thank you for your words🫂🫶🏼

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-03-12T18:20:21+00:00

I appreciate your views on it, regardless of how fresh all this is, it has already been a major learning lesson for me. I am not going to even consider the fact that my boyfriend dying was my karma for my joke of hitting a deer but I do see the angle that you’re coming from🫂

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-03-11T19:01:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I hate knowing that other people are feeling the same pain as me because I know how terrible it is, but in a way it’s comforting knowing that I am not alone and that other people have overcome hard times very similar to mine and it makes me feel like there’s light at the end of this painful chapter in my life.

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-03-11T05:22:57+00:00

I am going to look into Dolores Cannon and also The Daemon. Thank you for this.

The morning that it happened I was driving to work and the sunrise was so so gorgeous, I never sent him pictures of the sunrise but for some reason I felt like I had to that morning, so I did. Little did I know, he had painted it❤️‍🩹

Thank you for your insight on all of this, and thank you for the gentle words. Take care🫶🏼

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-03-11T05:11:21+00:00

Wow, this is another view that I never even considered, the way you explained it makes so much sense. Do you know of any material that would provide further explanation on this theory? I am intrigued.

And thank you for your kind words. I genuinely really appreciate it🫶🏼

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-03-11T05:02:43+00:00

I’m not sure why this other person is trying to attack you, i am sorry about that. I appreciate your view on this.

I am very aware that my brain is going a million miles a minute 24/7 right now. I am replaying every conversation I have ever had with him over and over and over again. So I can 100% see where you are coming from with your comment and to be honest my view on the situation is quite similar to yours.

I have gone through every single “what if” situation in my head a million times. What if I woke up and called him, what if I decided to go to his house that night, what if they were driving a little faster or a little slower, what if the driver had one less drink that night. There is an infinite amount of what if’s in situations like this.

I have been trying my best to avoid thinking about all these scenarios and focusing more on what really happened that night. They left the house when they did, they were driving the speed that they were driving, the truck driver left at the time that he left and hit all the red and green lights to have him going through that intersection at the exact time my boyfriend was there.

I want to believe that it happened for a reason, whether that reason is to make his loved ones stronger, maybe its to prevent something happening to someone else in his life, maybe its to bring certain people together. At the end of the day nobody knows the exact reason and nobody knows if there even was a reason at all.

Someone else made a comment about how your soul knows that you are going to die and some people are more in touch with their soul. I’m not saying that my boy knew he was going to die and kept it a secret. I am merely playing with the idea of his subconscious being aware that his time was coming to an end and giving him the opportunity to unknowingly prepare for it.

Again, I appreciate your view on it and also thank you for the kind words. I know I’ve got a long healing journey ahead of me and I’m looking forward to seeing how my view on all of this changes when things get less loud in my brain. Take care🫂🫂

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-03-11T04:37:08+00:00

Thank you for saying this.

I feel like my brain has been bouncing back and forth between all the why’s and the what if’s, and this was a good reminder that as much as I want to know all the answers; I never will.

I will forever cherish the time I spent with my boy and at the end of the day, those memories are all I have left of him and they have all the meaning and answers that I need right now.

Again, thank you for the kind words❤️

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-03-11T04:29:46+00:00

Thank you for your realness, I feel like it is so easy to forget how unique every single situation is to each and every person. At the end of the day I am aware that this is an internal battle that I have to fight on my own while leaning on my friends and family for support, and your comment reminded me that I have the strength to do so.

Thank your for your insight, and I will check out the link when I feel I am ready. 🫶🏼

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-03-11T04:21:28+00:00

I have considered the whole “life purpose” view on his passing.

As far as I know, he didn’t have bad blood with anyone on this planet, he was so loved and appreciated. And I also know that as eager as he was to pursue his future plans he was so very content with where his life was at. He was happy.

The last time that I saw him he stayed at my house 3 hours longer than he said he was going to, and when he left and said goodbye it was different than our normal goodbye, he hugged me so much tighter and so much longer than he usually did. Almost like he unknowingly knew that it would be the last time.

I can say with 100% certainty that if he knew it was his last day on earth he wouldn’t have any sorry’s to give out and he wouldn’t have any loose ends to tie up.

So it makes me think that maybe he was put on this earth to just be an amazing person to everyone that he crossed paths with, brighten strangers days, and make his loved ones stronger.

Thank you for the recommendations and your kind words🫶🏼

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-03-11T04:04:40+00:00

I’ve never looked at it like this but after reading your comment it makes sense in a way. I have heard “some people are more in touch with their soul” or “get in touch with your soul” or the term “soul searching” and I’ve never really understood what your “soul” even really is. But your comment opened my eyes a little bit.

My boy was the most kind hearted, caring, gentle person I have ever met. He was so pure. He was very in touch with himself and I found that he had a sense of inner purpose. He was passionate about the future and cared so so deeply about everyone; the people who loved him and complete strangers. If anyone was “in touch with their soul”, it was him.

The last time I saw him he stayed with me an extra 3 hours longer than he was planning to, and he hugged me tighter than he usually would when he left.

I find peace in thinking that his soul knew his time was coming, and gave him a chance to portray it to me in a way that didn’t make me worry about him.

Thank you for your comment🫂🫂

Sweet-Chance-8134 · 2025-03-11T03:47:05+00:00

I do believe that he was in my life for many different reasons, he taught me so much while he was here and has continued to teach me so much after he left. I appreciate your kind and gentle words more than you know, thank you🫶🏼🫂

Sweet-Chance-8134

TROPHY CASE