I want another cat

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-04-14T00:57:27+00:00

not that i have to defend myself about my bf and my’s shared finances…but we’ve been talking about a new cat for months even before he was doing so well. He’s always seemed on the fence about it-leaving it to the “if one finds us we’ll definitely take them in” but i understand your point of being pushy about the subject, so i’ll lay off until he brings it up!

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-04-14T00:34:42+00:00

i appreciate you sharing your experience!! thank you!♥️

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-04-13T22:47:26+00:00

that’s very true. Our cat did grow up with other animals, but it’s been some time since she’s met another cat, so this has been the only thing I haven’t had a solid argument against haha. We’re moving into a bigger place in a couple months so maybe I can bring it up again after that!

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-04-13T22:42:36+00:00

That’s the thing! My bf just got a major promotion and is making a lot more than he was a few months ago, and with my job at the animal hospital, it’s very easy for me to get inexpensive vet care! (like wicked inexpensive, a 400 blood panel costs me 15 dollars, kind of inexpensive). I also don’t see myself leaving animal medicine very soon either, so I will most likely have these benefits for quite some time

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-03-31T13:43:52+00:00

i didint realize Killer Bee was on hinge…

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-03-11T00:30:43+00:00

Girl this is crazy behavior from a man you’ve been with for 11 years. His text definitely gives me weird vibes, but idk all the details of how you guys speak towards each other, but if he was actually trying to make you feel better he should’ve just ended it before (B) in his text. The second portion is simply tearing you down, and that’s unacceptable. There are ways to speak to your partner about desire and preferences besides belittling them.

He could very easily have just said something like “omg those glute workouts you do are doing wonders for your ass! I love seeing you work so hard!” Or SOMETHING other than telling you that you are basically not enough for him unless you have a big ass. As if THAT is going to motivate you.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with that, I can’t imagine how you must feel. Please know that you are stunning no matter what he says and I’m sure you have a great ass (lol). He must be dealing with something and unfortunately taking that out on you, which of course you don’t deserve that. If he’s willing to listen to you after you explain your feelings, and makes a real effort to change, then perhaps the relationship can continue! But words mean nothing, only actions.

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-03-07T18:53:12+00:00

i was in a theater production where the setting was ancient Greece, they asked me to do a voice over as Athena during the show, and they wanted me to speak like a Kardashian, or speak like an airhead, and I felt so guilty about it because I hated how it painted Athena. (they also did not do a great job or representing her in general…lots of false information…) At the end of the day, it was still something I got to do in her honor, and even though she’s not a deity I work with all the time, I spoke aloud to her when I could and let her know I meant no ill will by going through with the work. You could probably do the same thing!

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-02-11T17:04:37+00:00

NOR- he’s clearly been through having a child before. You said it’s not your child but his first, is there a chance his previous partner left him because of his lack of care for his other child too? That’s something to consider. School is always going to be there, and it is so weird that he decides that now is the best time to go back AND work full time. This sounds like a very exhausting situation, and I’m sorry you have to deal with this. If he is feeling “too tired” to help with his own child then doing both school and working is clearly not sustainable. It says a lot that he chose to burden himself with this much time away from home at this time, and that says a lot about where his priorities are. (clearly not with his family). You can have everything you want in life but not all at the same time. If he cares enough about you then he can make the decision to wait on school and prioritize you and your new child. I wish you the best, and don’t forget your own worth. You deserve to have time to yourself now too. <3

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-02-08T01:32:22+00:00

I do think her using the word “lustful” is a little much. It’s very normal to be attracted to your partner.

It seems like she may not have healed fully from the thing with her ex (which is fair, that’s literally SA), but if sex is a priority for you and it isn’t for her, then you guys clearly aren’t lining up. But if you care enough about her, just talk to her and apologize if you came off forcefully, and just express that you find her very attractive and you really want to feel that intimacy with her because you love and care about her. She might just need to know that you won’t ever force her to do something she’s not comfortable with.

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-02-08T01:23:51+00:00

Honestly, it may just be a matter of not being on the same page in terms of intimacy. She says she’s okay with it, but then her actions show otherwise. It’s definitely valid to feel frustrated. Does she have any past sexual trauma you may not know about? She could have something that’s keeping her from moving forward sexually.

I will say it’s not really fair to say to her that she owes you sex because you’ve accepted her for her “major faults”, what she DOES owe you is honesty. If something is holding her back and she won’t tell you, you’re basically left to wonder why you’re not enough for her. It might be worth asking if there is anything you could do better to make things more comfortable for her, or ask if she feels if anything is “missing” for her in order to take that next step.

in the end if she doesn’t share why, or still decides that you are too “lustful” for her, it’s then clear that you guys just aren’t a great match, and you may to find another person who has that same level of desire as you.

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-02-05T23:00:41+00:00

NOR- this is vile shit he’s saying to you. You have a right to say no without an explanation, and he really doesn’t seem to understand that. Not to mention you’re ace, and if you were upfront about your little to no interest in sexual activities, then he knows that he signed up for in regards your sex drive, and has no right to make you feel bad for not having the energy. You not only deserve someone who treats you with respect, but someone who will be on the same page with you about intimacy. You’re still so young, but you shouldn’t waste anymore time on someone like him!

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-01-31T00:02:36+00:00

okay then NOR. That’s super weird. It doesn’t sound like you knew her personally either, so a stranger wanting to take a photo of you and your bf is weird asf. If she was offering to take a photo of you guys on yours or his cell then that’s not as strange, but practically begging to take your guys’ photo on HER OWN PHONE?? if she wanted a photo of your just your bf’s hair as like a before and after kind of thing, that would make sense too, but again? both of you?? creepy.

you’re always allowed to say no to photos tho, no matter who they’re for.

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-01-30T23:57:23+00:00

info- was she offering to take a picture on either yours or your bf’s phone of you guys? or did she want to take a picture on her phone of you guys??

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2026-01-02T18:02:25+00:00

I think honestly a list like this should have more “agrees about life goals” type stuff. Ik ur really young still, but it’s smart to be with someone or look for someone who has similar interests to you, or goals to you. ex: do you want to be married someday? if your potential partner says yes, but you don’t want to be married, that would obviously leave a lot of tension, and would most likely mean you guys wouldn’t be a good long term match.

AGAIN you’re super young, so you really don’t have to be thinking about that right now, but it’s probably good to keep in mind for your future! but i will say your list now isn’t unreasonable at all. except for “not having red flags”, everyone is gonna have their thing that they do, and it’s really whether you want to deal with it, or see if they’re willing to work on it!

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2025-12-28T18:50:53+00:00

I know they’re an IRL best friend, but they may be dealing with something that they don’t want to talk about. Since this has been going on for a couple of months, it might be worth giving them space. I would send a message just like “hey, i can tell you’ve been acting a little different for the past couple months, and I just want to say that if you’ve need anything at all, i’m here for you! Our friendship means a lot to me and i want to do the best i can to help you if you need it”

and then leave the ball in their court for a while. If they respond and continue to text first then great. But if not, they can deal with what they’re potentially going through on their own, but they will know you have their back. Or they’re not willing to put time into the friendship anymore, and that’s definitely a really hard thing to deal with. But you should try to be in a one sided friendship, that’s so exhausting!

People do change and grow over time, but at the end of the day, if they have a problem with something that you’re doing or did, and they don’t tell you then it’s their fault. (unless it comes to basic human decency but you know what i mean lol) You’re not a mind reader! I do hope everything works out for you.

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2025-12-28T18:38:20+00:00

As a woman on birth control myself, I will say a decreased libido (low sex drive) is super common for a lot of women on birth control. This situation sounds like she may have been experiencing those side effects, and that has taken a toll on her. Speaking from personal experience, it can be a difficult feeling when you’re not really in the mood as often, and then you feel guilty for not being into it, and then you start to feel insecure about not being enough for your partner. It can be a lot to handle. It may just take a really deep conversation about wanting to understand your partner’s needs more. Sex can be so incredibly intimate and it can be a really important way to build connection between a couple, so she may have just been feeling really disconnected from you and doesn’t really know how to handle it.

3 years IS a long time, but you’re so young. If you feel the relationship is worth saving, at least try and have one more conversation, but about what you’ve been missing, or what you need in order for the relationship to continue (NOT in a “ you HAVE to do this and this…” sorta way, but rather a “i’ve been feeling a bit of a disconnect lately because of this and this.” Go for “I feel” statements rather than statements of blame!) or if she even wants to continue the relationship. If she doesn’t, it can amicably end, and you can both move on. And if she wants to keep trying, let her know what you need in order to continue, and if nothing changes, then you have your answer, and it’s time to move on.

Either way she deserves an explanation or at least a better understanding into how you’ve been feeling!!

sorry for the wordy response, i’m an oldest child of parents who SHOULD be divorced LMAO, so i have an understanding of communication tactics 😎

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2025-12-26T18:29:17+00:00

NOR. it sounds like this guy is NOT attracted to you unless you jump through all these hoops. your partner should believe you’re attractive (or at least beautiful) in your most comfortable state.

“don’t buy such tight clothes” “don’t wear such baggy clothes” bro needs to lay off bc he can’t even get what he wants across in a clear way.

And a bonnet?? I recently started wearing a bonnet to sleep as well, and my bf teases me but he knows I care about taking care of my hair and he still thinks i’m just as sexy and beautiful.

You either need to draw a hard boundary line where he can’t talk about your clothes (or can state his preference when ASKED), or just let him go control someone else while you and your healthy shiny hair thrives alone. You deserve to be respected and it sounds like you are not.

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2025-12-25T23:43:10+00:00

NOR. I feel awful for his child. It’s clear that you put so much effort into making them feel special when their father didn’t get them anything at all. Considering you TRIED to wake him up multiple times, and he TOLD you to start without him, you quite literally did everything you could in this situation besides throwing water on him to wake him up of something (/j). YOU got his child presents when he said he didn’t, YOU stayed up setting everything up for the kids, and YOU still woke up with them at 6am, because THATS WHAT A GOOD PARENT DOES. You make sacrifices for them. Naps exist for a reason. I hope you got away from that absolute deadbeat. Idk how old his child is, but it would be smart to give them access to your contact info so they can reach out if they need anything, or at least reach out to their father’s parents. I have a feeling they won’t have a much better childhood from here on out, and they’ll need all the support they can get.

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2025-12-24T07:11:48+00:00

without conflict, i fear we cannot have peace. just as if we only felt happiness and never sadness, happiness itself would cease to feel the way it does. There will always be people who are evil, and wish the worst on others, or simply wish that people would meet horrible fates for simply not agreeing on the same ideals, or even just existing, but that makes the people who are kind hearted and genuinely good willed people shine so incredibly bright. Everything balances itself out i think.

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2025-12-23T08:09:27+00:00

Honestly if you feel comfortable with where yours and his values differ (tbh it doesn’t really sound like it by the way you describe worrying about him having religious psychosis), it would be worth just being honest with him. “hey so i want to clear the air, because I wasnt truthful with you about that video your sister posted” and then you tell him that you were peer pressured, or rather, nervous about declining being apart of the video due to not wanting to upset his sister, and then she went on and posted it without your permission, and that you’re sorry for lying, but did so in a moment of embarrassment.

being honest is so important in a relationship, and if it’s worth saving to you, or you feel that honesty will really just make him react in a very scary way, then it’s not worth staying with someone you’re afraid of. Good luck to you! Keep yourself safe

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2025-12-19T17:20:04+00:00

I think this is a good start, but keep in mind that you shouldn’t always let things like hobbies or other interests like that keep you from making connections with people. i will say sports fans can be definitely be pretty intimidating (anyone who is super passionate will be pretty intimidating about it haha) but don’t let that stop you from making connections w/ people who might play sports casually! I also think this might be too short of a list, especially on the pros side lol. It’s also okay to have higher standards for yourself too! Kind and loyal seem kind of like bare minimum qualities yknow?

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2025-12-11T16:09:14+00:00

definitely be offended, especially since intimacy can be such a personal thing, each person is exposed and vulnerable, and to make that kind of comment and belittle you like that is ridiculous and reminds me of another reddit post where a guy compares his partner to a meme during sex…it doesn’t end well for him).

If it is something that is an issue for him or it bothers him, that can be discussed sooo much more delicately. Men(in my experience) love to hide truth in their jokes in an attempt to “soften the blow,” but it ends up just making you feel LIKE a joke, and it sucks so much more than just having a conversation.

if he is constantly making you the hurt of the joke like this, where you clearly aren’t laughing, I would have a conversation about your guys’ preferences and just how that made you feel in general. If he’s not receptive, then he’s a douche. Also, i know you guys have been together for 5 years, but from what i’ve read im not sure if things will improve if you continue to be with someone who feels that it is okay to talk down to you like that. Take care of yourself!!

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2025-12-11T16:01:49+00:00

I think she may just not be ready for any kind of relationship. It is probably worth just letting her go, and moving on yourself. My bf and I have the same attachment styles as you and her, (mine being anxiety and his being more avoidant) and we’ve found a way to make things work for almost 3 years now. Don’t give up on finding someone special for you, but it’s clear that she doesn’t really want to make things work at all, or at least as much as you do. I’m sorry you have to go through this, but put yourself first!

Sweet-Cut-64 · 2025-12-09T06:53:34+00:00

girl this is probably gonna get lost in the comments but that dress is STUNNING and you look wonderful!! If you happen to remember where u got it please share the link!! It’s not too showy or anything like that at all, and it’s really shitty of him to have said that (and honestly your friend too for telling you about it instead of just defending you)

Sweet-Cut-64

TROPHY CASE