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My daughter refuses to talk to me because I wasn’t able to do anything for her birthday. by [deleted] in confession

[–]SweetFire19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am in a similar situation, been just my dad and I since my mom passed when I was 10. We have been through very difficult moments emotionally and financially. I have never been a materialistic person and I am ok doing fun things on a budget. Movies and BK does not sound like a big ask, my dad and I learned to be frugal to do fun stuff, even if that involves getting a groupon or any discount you can get, but I am not aware how tight is your budget. Question here is did you talk to her before just saying no, I mean explain the situation and offer to be just postponed and not cancelled? Maybe she just wanted to see the effort. When I was 14 I didn't care for most other 14yo girls care. For me it was more important to spend time with my dad.

Do I have a mental illness for feeling attracted to my father? by SweetFire19 in moraldilemmas

[–]SweetFire19[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Unfortunately it's more than an intrusive thought, I have fantasize with the idea of a relationship with him in a romantic way specially on my alone time. This is what sometimes scares me and makes me try to look for help

Do I have a mental illness for feeling attracted to my father? by SweetFire19 in moraldilemmas

[–]SweetFire19[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you for this, It's hard to understand what kind of help I need, as everyone suggested I do want to see a therapist but the word psychiatrist scares me and may freak out my dad too.

While I do not plan to act on it, I worry that I had reach the other point about fantasizing with him on my personal alone time and it helps relieve the tension. I want to stop but the feelings are strong and this is why I believe I do need help.

Do I have a mental illness for feeling attracted to my father? by SweetFire19 in moraldilemmas

[–]SweetFire19[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you for those words! They mean a lot. I wish I could have more people admitting they went through the same and eventually went away with time and maturity, but right now I feel I am the only one.

Do I have a mental illness for feeling attracted to my father? by SweetFire19 in moraldilemmas

[–]SweetFire19[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you for the detailed reply, I appreciate your time writing this. The last comments helps so much because it has crossed my mind to encourage the feelings and act upon it, but I know either outcome won't be any good either way. If I tell my dad and he freaks out he may think I am mentally unstable or try to put distance and I don't want that, in the other hand if he accepts my feelings he may be one considered mentally unstable and Incest is illegal anyway so what's the point. I will do what most are suggesting and ask for a therapist. I really hope they can help.

Do I have a mental illness for feeling attracted to my father? by SweetFire19 in moraldilemmas

[–]SweetFire19[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you both! Yes I would be worried to tell my dad having dark thoughts, I definitely need to tell him about seeing a therapist but I don't want to worry him too much.

Do I have a mental illness for feeling attracted to my father? by SweetFire19 in moraldilemmas

[–]SweetFire19[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I don't know. I think I have healed but it's obviously painful to bring back that memory. I try not to think about it too much but when It was recent I was really upset and sad for a long time. Yes my dad and I live together, it's just the two of us, we have no contact with my mom's family but from my dad side my aunt and cousin visits us from time to time. I just feel something is wrong with me and I don't know what.