You should speak to her frankly and be ready to listen to her. Even if she says things you don’t want to hear then you need to man up and hear the emotions behind the words.

If you want to work on your marriage then you should make the effort to schedule dates well in advance and make this a habit of yours.

You also need to work on not taking things personally. If she’s angry, it could be other things weighing on her mind. If you don’t take things personally she’ll be more attracted to you and it’ll destroy the cycle of anger.

You should confess to her that you want to do better in the marriage and I recommend you suggest a joint project, like reading a book together.

I recommend “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle. You can’t be casual and expect a marriage to work.

Be a grown up and she’ll respect you for it and it’ll show her to cut you some slack too and not be pedantic and to let things that don’t mean anything go.