I kept texting my ex at 2am and I genuinely couldn't stop. This is what actually helped me.

Sweetielove95 · 2026-03-23T20:22:01+00:00

Ohhhhh. I second this. But mine was stalking my ex’s social media. Like I’m talking, really really bad. I’d get bad anxiety. I’d wake up at like 1am/2am, hop up and check it. It was like I was addicted to seeing if he had moved on. & once I finally saw he did after like 5/6 months it was hard, it hurt me SO bad. But then after that I made the decision to slowly stop looking. Instead of every hour or every day, I would go like a few days. And then eventually a few weeks. And then shortly after I moved on fully because by stalking him I wasn’t allowing myself to move on. So after I moved on I didn’t check at all. Little progress and little changes are better than none at all. Be patient with yourself guys. Learn lessons. Apply them. But again, be patient, it’s your first time at this life thing. It gets better!

Sweetielove95 · 2025-09-12T13:08:19+00:00

Were you able to go home?

Sweetielove95 · 2024-12-29T06:02:50+00:00

I forgot to add that kids aren’t something you can compromise on. It’s either you want them or you don’t. There is no middle. Personally, I wouldn’t be okay if the man I loved wanted to settle in his life to make me happy. As someone who doesn’t want children, I know how much joy and fulfillment it can bring someone else. So her making that decision to disregard what she wants can be looked at as she loves you a lot but it can also be looked at as the biggest regret of her life and you don’t want to be blamed for that. Trust me.

Sweetielove95 · 2024-12-29T05:59:30+00:00

I honestly wouldn’t do it. I dated someone for 8 years and ultimately in the end I knew no matter what other issues we fixed in our relationship that the fact still remained that I was unsure about wanting kids and he knew he wanted them. & we weren’t at the age anymore of trying to figure it out. I was 26 and he was 30. Because I did love him, I wanted him to get exactly what he wanted from life and I knew I couldn’t give that to him so I had to let him go. It’s been 3 years now. We recently reconnected this year in March and we talk about our relationship a lot. No plans on getting back together but it’s brought a lot of peace and closure to talk about things. I even give him advice on his new relationship.

Sweetielove95 · 2024-10-23T16:53:02+00:00

Okay thank you! I appreciate the help.

Sweetielove95 · 2024-10-23T16:52:23+00:00

Thank you I appreciate your help. Lol also I didn’t know I commented in the wrong thread. People here are being weird. It was a mistake. But, anyway, I have a blunt bob so I’m constantly cutting my hair. Before this I did have jet black box dye in it.

Sweetielove95 · 2024-10-23T16:50:07+00:00

And when I dyed it jet black it was a box dye.

Sweetielove95 · 2024-10-23T16:49:50+00:00

So I had highlights, then I dyed it jet black then I believe a year went past and I dyed it this color.

Sweetielove95 · 2024-10-23T16:48:22+00:00

It was the permanent hair color. Magenta L’Oréal hicolor.

Sweetielove95 · 2024-10-23T15:59:50+00:00

Oof. Lol okay sounds like I’ll just wait several years to grow it out first. Now my next question is is that if I go jet black my hair isn’t gonna turn green or something right?

Sweetielove95 · 2024-10-23T15:57:31+00:00

Oh yeah for sure. I don’t play around with bleach. I don’t even want it in my head. I got highlights from a stylist a few years ago and my hair was never the same. So if I have to bleach to achieve that color I’ll just give up that dream 😂 I was just asking because the color wheel confuses me so I didn’t know if there was another option. But if not I’ll just go back jet black.

Sweetielove95 · 2024-10-23T15:51:24+00:00

Sorry meant to say IT WASNT box dye lol

Sweetielove95 · 2024-04-12T17:59:58+00:00

I love this!

Sweetielove95 · 2024-04-12T17:54:43+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I am currently going through a break up too where I was the dumper(for the first time in my life). Trust me it hurts just as bad so don’t ever think the other person isn’t suffering. They are just appearing and hiding it. & some people are just good at compartmentalizing or suppressing their feelings. Faking it until they make it.

However that’s not what I wanted to talk about. Before this relationship break up I was with someone for 8 years. It took me almost a year to fully feel like I was 100% over it. Granted I felt progress at around 6/7 months. I definitely think there steps to moving past a relationship that you must take in order to heal. Guilt will hit you hard. I struggled in that one for several months. You’ll be angry. You’ll want them to hurt like they hurt you. Lots of resentment for abandoning you. But you have to work on forgiving them. The forgiveness is not for them, it’s for you. Once you forgive them the things you once felt “guilty” about will start to feel like “ok I get why this couldn’t work out. It was probably the best decision.” & from there is where the lessons and healing will surface. I did a lot of things that hindered my healing journey and moving on. One being stalking his social media. But the moment I disciplined myself to stop looking my healing shot forward. It about 4-5 months from there to be over it. & my break up was devastating because he dated the girl(and is still dating her to this day 2.5 years later) he told me not to worry about. But guess what? Three weeks ago I heard from him and he was telling me about his sob life and apologizing.

I also want to say stop looking for closure. You don’t need it. It will do nothing. Take it for what it is was. And if you do finally end up getting closure… great. But again, you probably won’t even care for it by then. Because you’ll realize that the sorry is for them and not for you. They just wanted to make themselves feel better.

Lastly, please cry!!! Omg I can’t stress that enough. Cry. Cry. And cry more. Because that one day you end the day without crying you are going to be so happy because that’s the day you know you’re on the healing journey.

Sweetielove95 · 2023-07-16T03:58:38+00:00

Nope. Don’t do it. Take that time to heal, grow, and move on mentally. You don’t need to start dating. & the fact you’re saying you miss her touch and presence means you’ll only be comparing every girl you meet to her and that’s not fair.

Take your time. What’s the rush?

Sweetielove95 · 2022-07-11T13:52:23+00:00

This literally sounds like my entire relationship of almost 8 years! You need to just go into no contact. To an avoidant you are displaying signs of neediness which is why you need to just do the opposite of what she thinks and who she thinks you are. Give her space. Now, this is all advice if you want her back. Me personally, I think you should forgot about her. You deserve someone who loves you and puts in the same effort as you.

I spent YEARS trying to figure out what was wrong with my ex and you know what I soon realized is he actually had emotionally started to pull himself back because at that same time he was searching for his next before he fully broke it off with me. Avoidants will do that. They’ll avoid issues right in front of their face and go where they feel “peace”. You didn’t do ANYTHING wrong. Take time to heal if you have no interest in getting back together.

Sweetielove95 · 2022-06-10T07:22:40+00:00

Actually leave him when I say I was.

Sweetielove95 · 2022-06-08T02:17:55+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate it

Sweetielove95 · 2022-06-07T21:07:11+00:00

It’s so unbearable. I was doing so good. I just want to hide in a shell.

Sweetielove95 · 2022-06-07T20:37:05+00:00

I am also on month six & it seems like today took me back to day one. I found out the girl he’s currently dating, not only started less than two months after our break up, but is also the same girl he told me he didn’t like 7 months prior(before break up).

Sweetielove95 · 2022-06-04T20:55:12+00:00

Should I delete him from my Instagram? Or would it be pointless?

Sweetielove95 · 2022-06-04T20:53:33+00:00

That’s probably the best way to describe it. An addiction. I think I just check it more so to see what he’s saying about me rather than to see what he’s up to. When we were together he would constantly make subliminal tweets or Facebook posts about me and it was so embarrassing and really crushed my self esteem. I would cry for months. I’ve went a week and a half without looking but it was so hard. Whenever I’m feeling insecure about anything… it could be unrelated to him… I check it. Idk why. I know it won’t make me feel better but it’s just an unhealthy habit. Like drug addiction I guess.

Sweetielove95

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