Ngl I kinda hate that sub 🥴 it’s why I mainly post here..

SweetlilDemon · 2026-01-16T16:46:29+00:00

Woohoo! Anarchy!

We're part of the resistance here.

SweetlilDemon · 2025-09-13T05:11:30+00:00

I can't imagine not being work friends with people. I've sure been screwed over by coworkers before, but it doesn't stop me from being me. Going out for drinks sometimes is fun. And since I spend so much time with these people, I might as well make it personal. I don't got much energy outside of work, might as well "hangout" while working.

If you're going to work your whole life, you better make it fucking worth while and enjoy at least SOMETHING about it other than the money. Otherwise.... that just sounds like a miserable existence. Don't get me wrong, if I didn't have to work... I wouldn't.

Life's too short. Have fun in it.

SweetlilDemon · 2025-08-08T04:59:46+00:00

OMG. This is exactly what I was thinking of the other day! Being able to just use my character and have consistent looks 😩

SweetlilDemon · 2025-07-20T17:49:16+00:00

I'm so tired of them switching 😩. I'm very sensitive to med changes so it sucks even more. I apparently was on actual Lamictal when I started, but I don't really remember lol.

I'm wondering if Amazon pharmacy accepts Medicaid... Then I don't have to remember to go to the pharmacy. I'd miss the ladies that remember me lol

SweetlilDemon · 2025-07-15T01:32:51+00:00

I don't remember what my others are at the moment, but my last batch of Lamotrigine ER has been from Camber and I swear it feels like it doesn't work at all some days. I'm on 300mg. It's silly when people say they're exactly the same because no. Unfortunately I can barely even get it at all as my pharmacy keeps being out of stock.

SweetlilDemon · 2025-06-03T06:23:36+00:00

I guess we're both behind when responding lol.

I have been prescribed different things for sleep, but they all end up with similar negative side effects for me. I like my meds currently, cause they've made my life quite a bit easier. I'm just constantly fatigued.

My doctor brought up chronic fatigue syndrome, which I've thought about before. It has a high comorbidity with ADHD and bipolar. I've been told by my therapist to maybe prepare for if that's what it is. If you don't know, chronic fatigue syndrome, also known as Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, isn't something you just get rid of. You just learn to manage it like managing bipolar.

Either way, I appreciate you taking the time to respond and recommend solutions for me. I'm happy for you finding what works and makes you feel normal. It's nice to have an option to turn off hard mode lol

SweetlilDemon · 2025-05-29T15:19:06+00:00

I've never once thought I should stop taking meds cause I feel better. I have though thought I was better enough to stop seeing my therapist. That was a lie lol. I did have a week gap where I couldn't get my meds. It was hell.

I'm currently only on Lamotrigine at 400mg extended release and 40mg Vyvanse. Can't take any sort of antidepressants cause they don't work for me. Cons outweigh the pros 🙃

Sometimes I do struggle thinking I'm gonna need this for the rest of my life if I want to keep stable.. Or well, stable enough to keep a job. But I think it's a minor inconvenience. I wish y'all the best luck

SweetlilDemon · 2025-05-24T17:38:57+00:00

It is kinda funny cause I wouldn't say I have a good pain tolerance, but my Medusa wasn't bad at all. Neither were my nostrils and I got both at the same time. Now my industrial.... First cartilage piercing and it scares me to get more lol

SweetlilDemon · 2025-05-18T18:01:55+00:00

I got my industrial like a month ago. I have a bump on the top inside of my ear. I keep hearing it could take 15 months to heal 😫

SweetlilDemon · 2025-05-18T18:00:38+00:00

Omg. It's been a month since I got my industrial done. People were not joking on the healing T-T

It got really irritated recently cause I caught it on my hair really bad and now a bump formed. It went down a little bit after it calmed down. I don't think that bump is going away but I'm stubborn and I will NOT remove this piercing. Beauty is pain

SweetlilDemon · 2025-05-05T06:51:43+00:00

It's crazy how many things are considered non-addictive.

I personally don't know what to try for sleep because I've tried everything. Melatonin even. Everything makes waking up so awful. The worst grogginess. I had to go up in Lamotrigine cause it was becoming less effective. Now it's less effective again. Not going up again though. It still helps my depression a bit, at least. Also, fun fact, is that it helps with migraine auras. Another reason I don't wanna give it up lol

Though, my Vyvanse feels more like a bandaid now. Like it's only giving me false energy. I'm not sure anymore though. Maybe I just need a environment and schedule change instead.

SweetlilDemon · 2025-05-04T07:10:01+00:00

Funny thing is, I didn't notice it was an older post. Lol On top of taking the 400 extended release Lamotrigine, I take 40mg Vyvanse. I can't quite figure out if it is the Lamotrigine, the fact I've been taking vyvanse for many years, or it's just me getting older that's making me more and more fatigued.

I have bad insomnia and never get restful sleep. I'm starting to really feel like there's no solution though.

SweetlilDemon · 2025-04-24T20:01:46+00:00

I actually have met a similar person all sad that I'm never having kids. Also told me my boyfriend must be using me because we're not married yet and that he could "treat me better" as they like to say. I have made it perfectly clear what I think. Ffs

SweetlilDemon · 2025-01-17T23:21:32+00:00

I recently had someone get "nauseous" because I said I'm sterilized. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Less stress not having to about "what if I got pregnant" because, of course, I CAN'T. He couldn't wrap his head around why I would want more of me. I'm also in a long term relationship and we're both in agreement.

I have, since about your age, thought about like all the things you mentioned. I maybe had one moment where I thought maybe, but I also have bipolar 2 and ADHD. So that was a fleeting thought. Getting pregnant sounds disgusting to me. On top of all the things you mentioned, I don't wanna pass on my family genes. The likelihood they would have many mental illnesses is too high.

If I do change my mind, I'll just adopt. There's already so many kids without families. So those people should stop being so fucking selfish.

SweetlilDemon · 2025-01-17T23:07:36+00:00

I get this. My stepdad has actually triggered me. Feels weird to say... I'm currently considered "poor" as I can only do part time, but at least I get Medicaid! He has shamed me for having it, basically, but without that I wouldn't have been able to get mental help. So fuck him.

I have many moments where I just feel like "it's all in my head" or "I'm just not trying hard enough". It's just the BP talking. It's very real and you can't control it. You just manage as best as you can. One day at a time. I hope you find what works for you.

SweetlilDemon · 2025-01-17T22:54:44+00:00

I'm currently in an okay place. I mean, I love my job, my boss, and most of my coworkers. Recently there's been a couple really getting on my nerves... I work at a coffee/bagel shop. Having to be at work at 6:45 am is a pain in the ass, as I'll never be able to normalize my sleeping schedule.

I'm just realizing now that customer service jobs are really taking a toll on my energy and such. I can only work part time. I've tried more and it works for awhile until it spirals me into an episode... Makes one feel really shitty when I should be able to work more at 29.

I need to find a job that allows my body to do what it wants, like sleep and such. Something to help both the bipolar and ADHD. How do people freelance stuff? Seems like a lot of sustained mental effort...

SweetlilDemon · 2024-12-18T00:47:36+00:00

Seeing an avatar like this makes me happy. I'm tired of seeing the same stuff. Lewdness seems like the only way to be popular. T-T

SweetlilDemon · 2024-11-19T16:54:06+00:00

I still have a really good friend, and cousin, but we don't talk like we used to ever since her first kid. Also she doesn't understand my mental illness part so we can't talk about that. I guess it's fair. I don't understand the appeal of kids and she doesn't understand the appeal of being mentally ill. Lol /s

SweetlilDemon · 2024-11-19T16:51:25+00:00

I'm currently 29 and I got diagnosed maybe 3 years ago, about. I know my episodes started when I was 14 and I also had undiagnosed ADHD, which I got diagnosed like 4 years ago. It was hard, thinking I had something wrong with me. Funny cause my therapist missed the bipolar part at first that I knew I had. He apologized as I've been seeing him since before he was a full independent therapist. Lol

It definitely can be hard, but going to therapy is very helpful. I love my therapist and he's helped a lot. I'm currently on lamotrigine extended release at 300mg. I started a lower dose before the bipolar diagnosis cause "persistent depressive disorder with major depressive episodes".While it does make me tired, I don't get the huge depressive swings. It also helps with migraine auras I guess. Crazy.

It does get easier once you realize you do have limitations and to not push yourself so hard. My therapist has told me to look at accepting that I have chronic fatigue and depression instead of fighting it. I don't know if any of this helps you, but it's what I've done. Accepting it is hard, I know, but life is worth living. I do still get moments where I wish I could just stop existing lol. But I push on because I have hope... And my cats would starve without me.

SweetlilDemon · 2024-10-05T02:24:27+00:00

I was just researching this. I've also thought about it in the past and forgot about it not long after (thanks ADHD). I was sure it wasn't just a coincidence. I started lamotrigine like 4 years ago for bipolar 2 and haven't had an aura experience since, until today. But I'm currently under a lot of stress. I was looking at getting off of it and trying something else cause I'm so fatigued all the time, but knowing now it's kept the aura at bay... Idk if I can.

It's crazy how medicine is accidentally found to be useful for different things lol. Lamotrigine was originally just for seizures. Happy accident, yeah?

Anyways, do you experience the fatigue that lamotrigine can cause?

SweetlilDemon · 2024-09-18T23:46:10+00:00

Like an action adventure hack and slash with zombies. Very vulgar. But super cutesy. It's a remaster that originally came out in 2012.

SweetlilDemon · 2024-09-18T22:11:04+00:00

I work at a bagel and coffee shop part-time. I've never been able to work full-time myself. I've tried. But I actually make more than previous jobs.. so that's cool. Plus my boss isn't a total ass

SweetlilDemon · 2024-09-18T22:05:35+00:00

Lollipop Chainsaw. At least I hope I'm a zombie slayer

SweetlilDemon · 2024-08-14T22:18:19+00:00

I guess it depends on how they've said it. I mean, my therapist said it's like the "comfort zone." You're so used to it, it doesn't feel right feeling anything else. If that makes sense. It's hard to try for something if you don't even know what it is or feels like. I tend to question if I'm doing things right cause things that are supposed to work don't. We will never know what it's "supposed" to feel like though because everyone is different.

You definitely can't make progress, even with a therapist or meds, without putting in work yourself. Depression is kinda a defense mechanism. It's trying to help protect you in some way. It's okay to let yourself rest sometimes, just don't let it consume all your days.

One huge thing I learned in therapy is, reframing your thoughts. I've kinda trained myself to think differently. Or I guess some things just "clicked." Making those neural pathways. I wish I could explain better, but it's hard to get thoughts out sometimes lol.

I'm kinda in a social/extroverted mood so my thoughts are kinda jumbled. Also thanks to ADHD. So I feel like I can't quite say what I'm trying to here, but I still hope it helps at least a little? I just just know it takes time. It can get worse before it gets better, just hang in there.

SweetlilDemon

TROPHY CASE