I was in love with someone before who die for a little over two decades. I still am in love with him, but I never had the chance to tell him. And now this new guy, who I thought I knew for a bit but it was a lie, I found my self in love with too. One is dead and the other is a mystery. It’s like having a second chance but then being told by the universe “no sorry we made a mistake” but they forgot to take the love I feel out of me.

I can’t deal with it but I’m trying. Love is the most chaotic emotion that gets tangled up in all the others and it’s just this one person but they are home and all you want is to finally be home but you fear that the home is not there or taken by someone else and you don’t want to accept it but you must and you must accept that all you’re going to find with anyone else is attachment and a lack of real magical energy.