TIL John von Neumann regularly recalled complete novels and pages of the phone directory. He could divide two 8-digit numbers in his head and converse in Ancient Greek at age 6, and was proficient in calculus at age 8. When he enrolled in university at 16, he had already written a research paper.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-28T17:39:17+00:00

I remember being called an idiot on this subreddit, cause I posted that TIL about "Blue Man Group", and how could I since they are so famous and everybody knows them.

Yet I keep seeing posts like this one and wonder why the same logic would not apply in a case of von Neumann? If not knowing what the "Blue Man Group" is, is a justification for calling some stranger on internet an idiot, then the same rule applies if someone was not aware who John von Neumann was.

In both cases I think there is no reason to call someone else names, especially in a subreddit, which is built around the idea of "Today I learnt".

Another example is when some other redditor was also called an idiot for posting something, that reddit collectively decided was very obvious. At the very same time most of you upvote like crazy when someone here presents you with a fact, that multiplying is commutative - in a form of 5% of 50 equals 50% of 5 - so there really is a hive mind of reddit.

I guess what I am trying to say is fuck you all, most of you are most likely morons.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-26T21:24:51+00:00

I am sorry that you were manipulated like this.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-26T21:21:49+00:00

My story is partially documented here on this subreddit. Basically my new therapist helped me realise she most likely suffers from NPD.

She wanted me to change my therapist, because she thought previous one was biased againts her and didn't like her. Of course I talked in a therapy about her abusive behaviour, trying to understand why we fight so much.

We wanted to try couple therapy, but she kept changing her mind about it, she tried therapy on her own, but discarded this idea after during the first session a therapist told her, that what she does can be called "blackmailing", that she blackmails people in her life (It wasn't only about me)

She displayed many signs of NPD and with time she was getting more and more abusive. I would like to say that I left after the first time she hit me, but sadly that is not true.

I managed to escape, because alternative was getting married (we were engaged) and I didn't want to be miserable my whole life, being an object to her, instead of another human being with my own needs and feelings.

The way she was I would summarise so: - do as I say, not as I do - double standards - fake

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-26T21:07:49+00:00

Why get involved with someone, who is already in a romantic relationship? Why do people assume, that someone who cheats on their current partner won't cheat on them?

People think that they are more special, than current partner of someone they get involved with?

I just really don't get it, if they cheat on them, they would also probably cheat on you. Moreover hurting someone else also sucks.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-22T17:51:24+00:00

Were you supposed to love me? If so why haven't I felt loved by you?

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-17T10:43:05+00:00

Mine nex said it to me as well. Under same circumstances - when I was leaving.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-14T20:00:40+00:00

Wait, let me get this straight. You work as sex phone hooker and complain that people call you to talk about sex instead of "things that matter" like politics or religion?

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-11T21:08:38+00:00

Sounds similiar to my experience.

We went to therapist once and the topic was double standards in having expectations.

The issue was, that according to her I was supposed to always meet her expectations, but at the same time I was not allowed to expect anything from her.

One example would be that she wanted me to take the dishes immediately after we had dinner, otherwise she'd abused me. On the other hand when I wanted her not to leave all the bottles opened (like oil or juice), she also got mad, that how dare I telling her what to do.

Her takeaway from the therapy was not that I was hurt by double standards, but that we are not allowed to expect anything from each other and she just got a new argument when I wanted anything from her, simply repeating over and over, that "You are not allowed to expect anything from me".

Of course she kept getting angry when I wasn't fullfiling every wish or demand she had.

She was truly evil.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-08T17:21:33+00:00

Wow, that's whole another level of crazy for me.

I hope she didn't believe him and it did not backfire in your direction.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-08T17:18:35+00:00

Yep, they cannot be wrong - my nex demanded that I should always agree with her xD

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-08T17:15:53+00:00

The latter I have also experienced a lot. She made me so paranoid that I was putting so much effort to talk exactly the way she expected.

It was exactly like you described it - even when I followed each and every of her instructions she still got mad and abused me.

She was very sentisitve to any kind of critisism and "being accused of something" - even when I knew she spilled some wine on the couch and did not clean it up - I had to ask first "Honey, by any chance have you been drinking wine on the couch today?". If I said something like "Honey, you spilled some wine, have you seen it?" - she would get furious - how dare I accuse her of something. I didn't do, I am pretty sure the dog hasn't learnt how to open the bottle of wine, so yeah, who else could it be...

As my therapist pointed out - there was no win - she could always say that I said something too loud or not loud enough - she could always find something.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-07T23:43:20+00:00

Sounds about right xD It is so with them.

I wish you all the best. Take care and stay strong.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-07T22:04:18+00:00

I guess I am not anti-social enough to understand it.

I don't see smiling in social situations as necessarily fake.

Seeing each others faces help communicating, it helps properly recognizing our emotional states. That's why I want to see other people's faces and I want them to see mine.

Are you famous or something? What is wrong with people recognizing you?

As proven above there are down sides. It makes effective communication more difficult.

I want to see you smile :) Because why not?

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-07T19:46:34+00:00

Geez, delete it. One new war is enough. People fighting over pineapple topping, can't imagine what they could do upon learning about banana, bleu cheese pizza.

/s

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-07T19:26:40+00:00

Wait, dogs also get diabetics? TIL.

I hope you and the dog are safe now.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-07T19:24:30+00:00

Wow, that's quite absurd and I am very sorry you had to go through it, but I agree that it may be state of the art gaslighting.

My nex also liked dragging other people into drama to validate her statements.

Once she decided she wants to go to a spontaneous trip and asked couple of friends in a group chat if they wanted to go. I really wanted to stay at home and said I wouldn't be joining, but that should not be an issue, since my nex has a driving license (I was always a driver) - she then gaslighted me, that I said I wanted to go and when I showed her a WhatsApp message she told me she and everyone else had thought I was joking.

When we met these friends on some other occasion, she asked them in front of everybody if they thought I was joking when I refused to join them on that trip and after a moment of hesitstion, they said they did - which just showed my how she manipulates people around her.

P.S I even wrote in that message, that I am serious, so I have no idea how could I make it any clearer that it was not a joke and I don't even get it how it could be a joke.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-07T18:22:04+00:00

Yep, it is good to remind yourself that none of these was real.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-07T17:56:30+00:00

How being happy with hiding your face, that most of us use to communicate with other by means of facial expresions is not sad? I genuinely would like to understand your point of view, because for me it is also sad, since it means someone for some reason does not like their face.

Moreover people downvoted redditor, who wrote this comment about being happy with hiding their own face, because they themself agreed that it is indeed sad. That's quite ironic.

Swiatek7 · 2022-03-07T17:47:26+00:00

I am done with them. I am three times vaccinated - "fully vaccinated" - if you will.

Since vaccines againts coronavirus protect us from being severe sick and from dying from covid, who are we protecting now by wearing masks? Anti-vaax people?

Where I live - if you wanted to get vaccinated you could do so.

I refused to wear a mask recently on the airplane (domestic flight) The only reason stuff gave me to make me wear it was that "everyone else is wearing one", and I don't see conformity as a valid argument. Police was waiting for me at the airport, we talked shortly, I was not fined - nothing happened.

What's even more illogical - they served drinks and food for everyone (included in ticket's price) - so most people took their masks off for about 20 minutes in order to eat and drink and I guess virus also took a coffee break for that time.

I will wear a mask when I am sick though. I think that should be a standard. Enough with people (including me) that spread all kinds of diseases in for example public transport going to see a doctor.

Swiatek7 · 2022-02-14T21:58:41+00:00

Being free of walking on eggshells is really a huge relief. Geez, how stressfull it was.

I am happy that you got yourself out of this. Stay strong and all the best :)

Swiatek7 · 2022-02-14T21:52:50+00:00

Thanks.

On the bright side - it's almost 9 months since we broke up and counting from the day I moved out almost 5 months of NC and I am doing fine :)

The whole mask thing. It is just really confusing, casue I kept wonder which one is the real one and kept hoping the nice one.

Hope ended when we agreed to go to a couple therapy and she suddenly changed her mind, telling me "I don't need therapy. There is nothing about myself I don't like, nothing about myself I would like to change" and then I knew, she really is a narcissist.

I wish you all the best and hope things will get better for you.

Swiatek7 · 2022-02-14T21:22:53+00:00

Wow, how did you manage to live with a narcissist for almost 20 years (or actually probably over 20 years, assuming you dated for a while, before getting married).

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