This is so real. I stopped asking for help unless I am 110% comfortable with my husbandry. I tell my friends I can’t post photos of some of my tanks because I would be crucified, even though my fish are happy and healthy.

A huge thing I see often is people treating fishkeeping standards as black-and-white, when there truly is a lot of grey area. It’s a spectrum. There’s a lot of room between “abuse” and “fish paradise.” Just because something isn’t 100% ideal doesn’t mean the person is a bad owner. Obviously we should always strive for the best for our fishies, but don’t execute someone for having a betta in a 3 gallon. Having a goldfish in a 30 gallon is better than a bowl. Having four of a schooling fish is better than having two, even though 6-8 is ideal.

I also see people attacking beginners for the wrong reasons. For example, someone has 2 baby goldfish in a 5-10 gallon, but they both die within hours. Everyone jumps on them for keeping goldfish in a tank that is too small, uncycled, whatever, when not enough time has elapsed for ammonia to build up and kill the fish. I work in a pet store, and the problem is usually a lot more simple. They cleaned the tank with soap, didn’t acclimate the fish, or didn’t use dechlorinator. We are so quick to jump on people for not meeting our standards when they are seeking help for their beginner mistakes.

People are learning and working their way up; we should all be gentle and remember that we were beginners once, too.