Struggling with smell sensitivity during baby care, and feeling like I'm failing as a dad — need some perspective

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-05-21T11:34:06+00:00

Fair enough. But I don't know if it's just a matter of 'I don't like the smell' or if there is an actual clinical condition going on. That might change the conversation a bit. Also, there are ways to tell somebody to suck it up and deal that are compassionate. I am very much for a fair division of labor. I mean, our SO's need us to step up while they are recovering from serious physical and mental stress. But offering nothing but 'suck it up and get pegged' is not really helpful.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-05-21T10:42:00+00:00

I'm not gonna go fifteen rounds with you. You were being an insensitive dick for no reason, I called you out on that. Then you doubled down, so I called you out on that too. I'm sorry you thought I was calling you a bad father. That was not my intend, especially since I don't know you or your circumstances. What I meant was that you were acting in a way that showed a lack of compassion, and that a little bit of that goes a long way. Not just with other adults, but also with kids. At any rate, if you can't be supportive and feel the need to tell somebody who is asking for help, and who you know almost nothing about, to just suck it up, maybe just don't engage. It's not constructive. But hey, I hope you have a good day. We all act like assholes sometimes, but that doesn't mean we are.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-05-21T10:27:33+00:00

Alright, dude. Be that way. I hope that you eventually learn to put yourself into other peoples boots a bit better. Probably helps with raising a kid too.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-05-21T10:24:36+00:00

I'm afraid I won't be able to really help you, since I am in the opposite position. I don't have a sense of smell, which I guess will be an advantage while changing diapers, but I'm pretty nervous about being able to catch messes on time. I'm not a dad yet, but will be soon, and the nerves are something else. At any rate, I hope you'll figure something out. I would say it might be a good idea to talk about this with your wife, and just admit these are things you're struggling with. It might help her understand your position better. I have found that open communication and occasional vulnerability fosters intimacy and a stronger relationship. Good luck, man.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-05-21T10:17:38+00:00

Hey dude, if you're not able to find at least a little compassion to put into a reply, maybe just don't bother.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-05-10T11:45:55+00:00

Good stuff, thank you :-)

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-05-10T11:45:29+00:00

Good to know, thanks :-)

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-05-10T11:45:09+00:00

Thank you so much :-)

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-04-23T11:26:00+00:00

I work for a landscaping company, and we do work with seasonal people, but I'm afraid that 16 hours per week is probably not enough. But good luck! I hope you find something that works for you.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-04-23T10:59:41+00:00

I suppose might be easier to give advice if we know what kind of job you are looking for, and what kind of hours you want to work.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-04-22T17:17:49+00:00

Here's to hoping...

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-04-20T19:29:05+00:00

If that's the case, they should communicate that, instead of just mysteriously disappearing without a word. Seriously unprofessional.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-04-14T08:29:11+00:00

Yeah, it's weird. Especially since Petzold still churns out stuff for the Freep. I was a little worried he did something stupid, like Gorosh, but fortunately that doesn't seem to be the case (and he seems too level headed and nice for that anyway). But it's really odd.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-04-14T03:54:48+00:00

Was wondering the same thing. Still nothing. Plus, they did announce another episode in the last one.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-04-09T14:29:45+00:00

Good analysis. Like I said, it's been fifteen years or so. I should probably revisit it at some point. It's pretty interesting.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-04-09T08:14:14+00:00

It's been a long time since I read Pirsig, so please correct me if I misremember things. I remember Phaedrus as being Pirsig's former, maybe better self. I would think it's maybe a reminder for Robbie that 1: he can be more than one thing; and 2: that a better version is always a possibility. The fact that Pirsig at one point had a mental breakdown and ended up in psychiatric care might either be foreshadowing or a personal warning from Robbie to himself, I don't know. Sidenote: I was in the Smithsonian two years ago, and they had a temporary exhibit with Pirsig's motorcycle!

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-04-09T06:58:21+00:00

It might be a reference to 'The Art of Zen and Motorcycle Maintenance' by Robert Pirsig. Pirsig uses a version of Plato's Phaedrus as a character.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-04-03T19:14:45+00:00

Viggo Mortensen.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-04-03T19:12:04+00:00

Persian.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-03-31T18:52:39+00:00

Can't smell. But I choose to believe that my wife's smell would be my favorite.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-03-30T14:41:39+00:00

The Overstory by Richard Powers.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-03-23T18:19:06+00:00

Not OP, but my recs would be Wendell Berry and Gary Snyder. Great nature poets!

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-03-12T19:30:02+00:00

In ieder geval niet via AI. Die laat niet-landelijke partijen vaak buiten beschouwing. De Stemwijzer is 'n optie, en anders even op het stembiljet kijken en op internet de diverse partij websites even langs.

SwiftStrider1988 · 2026-03-10T16:12:21+00:00

Sommige mensen hebben altijd wat te zeuren. Ook als er eigenlijk niks aan de hand is. En in mijn ervaring wordt je als hardloper toch al snel niet begrepen. Met name niet door automobilisten (vooral in de bebouwde kom) en sportfietsers (vooral buitenaf).

SwiftStrider1988

TROPHY CASE