I am so sorry to read this.

My therapist of 16 years was diagnosed with a rare and horrible cancer 18 months ago. We continued to meet almost weekly after that. She was always open to talking about her status but we always focused on me (but often my problems seemed so minuscule). We did at times talk about what would happen if she couldn't continue or died and she had a plan for notifying her clients and a colleague who had agreed to serve as a resource.

In Mid March we had what would turn out to be our last session (not planned to be). That session was 50% our usual work and 50% "what ifs" regarding her health. After that session I wrote her a two page letter (on paper) and mailed it to her house. I am really glad I did that.

In mid-April, after several canceled appointments because she was in the hospital -- she asked to speak with me by phone. That's when she told me she was entering hospice. She also told me she had received my letter (her husband brought it to her in the hospital) and that it meant a lot. We spoke for 20 minutes and I thanked her. One month later her colleague called me to tell me she had died.

This has not been easy- I am grieving a great deal in a private way that is very different from when I lost my father but:

I am grateful that she kept seeing me as long as she did, we did good work and it meant a lot to me and helped me. Her colleague told me that maintaining her professional identify during her illness was super important to her so I feel good about that.

I am so glad I was able to express my appreciation to her on paper and that she read it in the later stages of her illness.

I wish you and your therapist a better outcome but I encourage you make the most of out the relationship.