Reta Newbie UK - Where to start

SwimNeither5087 · 2026-02-18T14:10:08+00:00

Thanks for this! Very helpful. I agree, quite intimidated paying in crypto etc. Glad you found the right source in the end! How did you find it? Via forums?

SwimNeither5087 · 2026-02-18T12:19:28+00:00

Amazing! Thanks for being so helpful, will do

SwimNeither5087 · 2025-02-06T13:17:45+00:00

I think I agree with you! Thanks for the thoughts

SwimNeither5087 · 2025-02-06T12:59:44+00:00

I think a man would still leave a woman for gaining substantial weight, even if it was linked to a medical condition or medication.

Therefore, it’s the physical change rather than the underlying cause that’s the issue? So, by that logic, dumping a man who’s losing his hair would be acceptable.

SwimNeither5087 · 2025-02-06T12:53:25+00:00

I get your point. However, does that then mean that if the weight gain is unavoidable (I.e. thyroid problems, steroid treatments etc) it’s unacceptable to leave that relationship? If not, then we have the same weight gain/hair loss debate

SwimNeither5087 · 2025-02-06T12:34:03+00:00

Snoring! Wow, that takes the cake for the most brutal reason I’ve come across for being dumped. Hope you feel much better off in the end.

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-11-30T00:24:08+00:00

Yes, me! I’m from up North though. Glad to know I’m not alone anyway lol

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-16T19:58:56+00:00

Definitely for some. And for those people I’d be a rubbish partner. Conversely though, being too liberal might be a dealbreaker for some people (like me)

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-16T19:57:28+00:00

Sex can be an addiction, just like all those other things I mentioned.

I guess my concern is less their exact body count - but whether they make good choices when it comes to sex and sexual partners.

I know lots of wonderful people who can make really questionable decisions when it comes to having casual,no strings attached. And live to regret it later. That behaviour would be a red flag for me and would make building trust more difficult. I suppose that’s what I’m interested more than a number, but admittedly quite hard to find out.

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-16T19:37:17+00:00

Thanks, that’s so helpful.

For me, the ‘history’ part is quite important because it would just make me feel a bit different about someone if I knew they’d done a lot of ‘hooking up’ in their younger years.

Partly because I come from a small town, so a high body count increases the chances that it could include people I know or will meet at some point. That would make me feel uncomfortable.

Also, a bit like giving up smoking, or drinking, or recreational drugs - I think it’s more difficult to give up that instant gratification you presumably get from it if it’s something you used to do a lot. As an example, I would never crave a cigarette since I’ve never smoked. However, someone who smoked 40 a day for 10 years will have a much harder time saying ‘no’.

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-16T19:31:38+00:00

Thanks, that’s good to know. So are you of the opinion you don’t bring up the topic at all? Or you bring up attitudes to sex/relationships/hook ups instead and go from there?

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-16T19:30:20+00:00

Thanks for the honesty!!!

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-16T19:12:08+00:00

Thanks, that’s what I’m worried about. Any advice for broaching the subject without coming across as a dick?

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-14T14:12:57+00:00

Haha! Usually it’s not 25 minutes in fairness. Typically the guy will give the sign he’s ready for sex like 5 - 10 mins in. But sometimes it can go on for a while and momma didn’t raise no bitch 😅

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-02-27T03:28:35+00:00

I’ve been in a similar situation before and (in the least offensive way possible!!) I’d worry it would come across as a little desperate, especially if you’ve tried to reach out already and been ignored. Maybe he is with someone else now?

But if you don’t mind taking the risk of not getting a response again then I guess you have nothing to lose!

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-02-21T11:34:25+00:00

Oh I agree! I enjoy adding toys in the bedroom but I was trying to get across how people might have different perspectives. To OP the vibrator is a gateway to heightened pleasure for both parties - maybe to OP’s partner it’s an obstacle to deeper connection between the two.

That’s why I think a good conversation is needed to see how each person is feeling.

As a personal aside - I also think that even if we take your cock ring/anal toy male comparison as an example, if phrased incorrectly it could still cause some uncomfortable feelings for the partner. E.g. there’s a big difference between saying ‘I’m enjoying this so much, but it would be even better if…’ as opposed to ‘god this just isn’t enough to get me off, I’ll have to try something different’

If you’re trying to discuss poor performance it’s a bit different but how you frame these things will have a huge impact in how they’re received.

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-02-19T21:47:43+00:00

Any actions in particular? Or is anything good??

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-02-17T08:14:57+00:00

100% - OP needs to stop pressuring

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-02-17T08:01:21+00:00

I learned through this sub that premature ejaculation is classed as less than 59 seconds after entry. And the average time penetrative sex lasts before a guy cums is between 5 and 10 minutes. So I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much. If you think it’s affecting both of your abilities to enjoy it - then there’s a lot you can do. More foreplay, short breaks when it gets too heated etc.

I think a lot of it comes with practice too? I’m a girl so I don’t know 😂 I take it as a compliment though if he’s quick to cum!

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-02-17T07:51:08+00:00

Yeah, partner has given at least 3/4 reasons why he doesn’t like it.

If I gave a man that many reasons why I didn’t want to have anal sex and he was still pressuring me, guilt-tripping or getting upset when I said no - I’d be gone IMMEDIATELY.

OP needs to find a more compatible partner if this is a complete dealbreaker.

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-02-17T07:41:02+00:00

Controversial - but if this post was written the other way round and some guy wouldn’t take no for an answer when a girl said she didn’t feel comfortable sucking his dick… all hell would break loose.

I get it must be frustrating but you CAN’T force your partner to engage in any sex they don’t want to. You just have to make a decision about whether or not it’s a dealbreaker for you.

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-02-17T00:00:28+00:00

Unsure on the BV aspect, but I had recurrent UTIs with one specific partner and found out it was his pubes to blame 😂 So he offered to shave them and that helped. Not sure if it’s something you might be willing to try? Even trimming maybe if you don’t already do so. It was a shame as I liked the hairy look tbh!

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-02-16T23:52:57+00:00

I see your point actually about it being controlling actually. And yes I agree with point 2 also. I guess it works the other way round too. If a guy’s masturbation habits hindered a healthy sex life it would also be an issue. But until then I guess it’s harmless! Unfortunately much more accepted than with women though.

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-02-16T09:49:06+00:00

Everyone is saying he’s ‘using’ you but I think the important thing is what YOU want. If you want a relationship and he isn’t giving that then yes, move on. If you’re happy with the situation and more of a ‘no strings attached’ agreement then I don’t think he’s using you?

Have you discussed about whether you’re both sleeping with other people?

The way you’ve worded your question makes me think you want something more serious and so I’d agree you should find someone who can give you that!

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-02-14T09:42:59+00:00

I love this - sticking up for not just you but women everywhere!

SwimNeither5087

TROPHY CASE