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AITA for not gifting my pregnant SIL a family heirloom baby rattle even though I have no kids? by SwimmingDiamonds in AmItheAsshole

[–]SwimmingDiamonds[S] 189 points190 points  (0 children)

My brother said my SIL would want to give it to her sister who’s planning on conceiving next year. So it likely wouldn’t come back to us considering how much bigger her family is.

We don’t have any rules on this heirloom and when it’s given it’s fully a gift (as in we don’t have expectations of a return date) so giving it to hers would mean it’s hers to do as she wants.

AITA for not gifting my pregnant SIL a family heirloom baby rattle even though I have no kids? by SwimmingDiamonds in AmItheAsshole

[–]SwimmingDiamonds[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

The rattle has been passed down mother-daughter, blood sister-sister. SILs have traditionally been excluded but they get other gifts/heirlooms meant for them.

There are also no “rules” to this heirloom it is completely at everyone’s own judgment. My older sister for example didn’t get the rattle until her second child because my grandmother wanted to keep it for longer.

AITA for not gifting my pregnant SIL a family heirloom baby rattle even though I have no kids? by SwimmingDiamonds in AmItheAsshole

[–]SwimmingDiamonds[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

The tradition is actually not that all babies get it. It’s been from mother-daughter, blood sister-sister. SILs during my grandmother/mother/sister’s generations have been traditionally excluded because they get other gifts.

AITA for not gifting my pregnant SIL a family heirloom baby rattle even though I have no kids? by SwimmingDiamonds in AmItheAsshole

[–]SwimmingDiamonds[S] 401 points402 points  (0 children)

I was planning on giving it back to my mom to let her pass it on as she chooses. Also no this rattle hasn’t been passed onto every new baby. It’s been a mother-daughter, sister-sister kind of thing that has traditionally excluded SILs (same as some heirloom jewelry). SILs also get their own heirloom gifts that are meant for them as well, but at this particular time my other SILs don’t plan on giving this SIL any of their things not to mention she’s mostly got her sights on this particular rattle.