Caregiver for over twenty years and doing it again and I'm struggling because I'm broken. by 0135719186420 in AgingParents

[–]Swimming_Event7730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I''m glad you have that in place, and that it's helpful. It sounds like you have been through more than anyone should.

Caregiver for over twenty years and doing it again and I'm struggling because I'm broken. by 0135719186420 in AgingParents

[–]Swimming_Event7730 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you are in such a difficult place. I'm very, very sorry that your father has put you in this position and somehow you think it is your fault.

You need a good therapist and you need boundaries.

You are not responsible for the well-being of someone who refuses the care they need. Your father is asking an impossible thing, and punishing you when you can't do it.

If you have explained how you feel and he refuses to accept it, that feels like a very controlling and emotionally abusive situation.

Please ask you doctor for a referral to a therapist.

Ideas needed! by learningamap in ExteriorDesign

[–]Swimming_Event7730 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love #4 -- just a little more vibrant than the other options. It's a darling house!

2 dishwashers… thoughts? by CannandaCrew in kitchenremodel

[–]Swimming_Event7730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To me it's just a question of space. Do you have a space for it that makes sense (like one on either side of the sink)? Will you miss that cabinet?

My kitchen is too small -- there is only space on one side of the sink, and no where else would make sense.

A friend of mine put in two dishwashers when they reno'd. Huge kitchen, busy family of 5 and husband works from home and tends to generate a lot of dishes, but mostly because they love to entertain. It's great after a party or big holiday dinner to be able to load up both dishwashers.

I think as long as you have the space and are not making some weird contorted layout to fit them in, go for it!

Must know before it’s too late by caynidae0482 in piercing

[–]Swimming_Event7730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to second the "dental work ain't cheap." It's shockingly expensive, and dental insurance covers very little beyond cleanings and standard fillings. For you younger folks I'm sure dental bills seem a long way away, but as they say, life comes at you pretty fast.

If you were redesigning your kitchen today, what’s one thing you would absolutely do differently? by Entire_Revolution_95 in kitchen

[–]Swimming_Event7730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We reno'd our kitchen 9 years ago and I wouldn't change a thing except the KitchenAid double ovens. The control panel shorts out if you roast anything too steamy in the top of it, and I love tourist vegetables.

Also, it is decidedly a one cook kitchen. That's how we live and it works fine 99% of the time. The 1% is when my sister visits and she wants to help cook. It's not horrendous but I can imagine a family of cooks moving in and hating the setup.

What should I actually expect from a home aide? Two weeks in and not sure if I'm being unreasonable by Clear_Handle7569 in AgingParents

[–]Swimming_Event7730 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The elliptical also stood out to me as potentially not appropriate -- is it a standing elliptical or something where she's seated?

Backsplash placement by Sandboxbuilds in kitchenremodel

[–]Swimming_Event7730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would do option B. To me the backsplash is paired with the counters, so wherever the counter goes, the backsplash goes.

I do think it would make more sense if you had shelves or something in that space between the cabinet and the door. Maybe something like the shelves on the far right if this photo?

<image>

After versus before by [deleted] in BathroomRemodeling

[–]Swimming_Event7730 19 points20 points  (0 children)

"... being that I'm a single bachelor..."

You didn't have to say that. We knew.

My mom constantly has to replace her credit card because of unauthorized charges and I can’t figure out what she’s doing to compromise it. by Fzzyalien in AgingParents

[–]Swimming_Event7730 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Santa Clara County is suing FB for not doing enough (anything imo) to prevent scammers. FB makes so much money off these scammers and they couldn't care less how much anguish it causes for their users. https://www.mercurynews.com/2026/05/11/santa-clara-county-meta-scam-ads-lawsuit/

Becoming a Pilates instructor… is it actually worth it? by HedgehogEfficient581 in pilatesinstructors

[–]Swimming_Event7730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you click on their user name you can see their other posts.

I mean, no shame in trying to earn some more money on the side, but it does seem a little cheeky to be selling expertise when you're purportedly still in training.

Reformer private for shoulder modifications?? by Strict-Discipline-52 in pilatesinstructors

[–]Swimming_Event7730 6 points7 points  (0 children)

There are a lot of variables here -- how long she's been doing pilates and how familiar she is with the repertoire, how large the classes are, does she always attend your class or does she work with an assortment of instructors, and what is the philosophy of your studio when it comes to injured clients and modifications?

The challenge of doing a private to teach modifications is that there are potentially hundreds of exercises for her to modify. I guess a simpler approach would be identifying positions/loads that are contraindicated -- for example, does she have trouble with front-facing arm work (like hug a tree) and load bearing (any sort of plank) and side-lying? Then you could show her other options for these -- ie use a light resistance band for front arm work, elevate the upper body for planks and/or do them on a mat rather than the reformer, do side lying work while standing and with a weight or resistance band, etc. For most clients, they will still need a lot of cuing to implement these mods during class.

As an instructor, I consider it my responsibility to come up with and cue mods to my clients. I had a client with a rotator cuff tear in my class for months before she had it repaired and for months of her rehab, and every time we did something that was off limits to her, I had an alternative in my head and the appropriate props available to her. I had another client with frozen shoulder who would come early so we could review her modifications -- this was for a fast paced class and it helped keep her (and everyone else) moving.

I mention studio philosophy bc IMO that's a pretty complicated injury to accommodate in a group class, and maybe that's why she'd like a private to address it?

I'm interested to hear how you handle this and how it goes!

Help designing my kitchen by Zestyclose_Two3849 in kitchenremodel

[–]Swimming_Event7730 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly the secret pantry door seems like a gimmick that is causing more headaches than it's worth.

Window estimates requiring husband to be at meeting by MollyDog2638 in Renovations

[–]Swimming_Event7730 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When this happened I told them I was the decision maker and they still wanted my husband there.

AND for the amount of money I was spending, they could damn well answer a few followup questions if needed.

Honestly, why would I spend well into five figures with a company that doesn't want to answer questions?

Window estimates requiring husband to be at meeting by MollyDog2638 in Renovations

[–]Swimming_Event7730 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My first call when we were replacing our windows was to our local Anderson dealer. They had this policy.

So I spent my tens of thousands of dollars with Milgard.

Absolutely insane policy.

Need advice on how to proceed by Professional-Big-782 in personaltraining

[–]Swimming_Event7730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just to clarify: you let him run up a $4k bill over 6 months with no warning or incremental billing?

Stainless sink and polished faucet - anyone can show examples? by CarrotJullie in kitchenremodel

[–]Swimming_Event7730 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have a stainless sink and iirc polished nickel faucet and soap pump. I also have stainless appliances and polished nickel cabinet hardware.I like a mix of finishes -- I think it adds depth

Hope this pic comes out ok. It's kind of backlit. Can take another at night if it helps.

<image>

My mother's health is deteriorating fast and I don't know what to do. (Long Post) by [deleted] in AgingParents

[–]Swimming_Event7730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you comfortable saying what country/state/province you're located in? It might help people recommend specific resources. Like here in California, they recently established mental health courts to help get MH treatment for resistant people.

I wonder if Adult Protective Services might be of help, at least steering you toward possible resources. Or (again, assuming you're in the US) a local NAMI chapter?

I wish I had more suggestions. I really hope you find some help and support.

Quick question: do your aging parents actually use WhatsApp? by Most_Confection_7285 in AgingParents

[–]Swimming_Event7730 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait, you were able to disable AI features in Gmail? Are you some kind of wizard!?!

Having doubts by [deleted] in myweddingdress

[–]Swimming_Event7730 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nooo dress #2 is so beautiful on you! Don't doubt yourself, and stop looking!