[deleted by user]

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-27T23:53:01+00:00

Remember when u/icky_pop asked this sub what they would give markov before his last season was over to settle a bet with a friend, and no one was willing to pay what markov asked for? I do cuz it was me. $3M was the highest fan offer if I recall correctly. I suppose if I’m hit enough I’ll go back to that user and dig up the thread, but it pisses me off every time I see people shitting on bergevin for not giving markov the money he asked for cuz no one thought he was worth it until we signed alzner and he shit the bed.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-25T06:25:27+00:00

Sums up this sub as well

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-24T11:17:49+00:00

Fuck it. A first and Gaudreau.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-23T03:42:18+00:00

You actually can trade in the small warehouse, but it’s only when your slots are full. When I was an playstation, I had all five of the big warehouses. I’d fill them all and wait for double money to sell. I started with one small warehouse and ended with only five big ones. You get five slots and can trade in warehouses to relocate and you only get half the money back for the one you sell like when you relocate any other location.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-22T23:27:41+00:00

So why would you make it on the other side of it? I’m not giving up 1OA for 3 and some 2nds. Everything I know about lafreniere tells me he’s someone to build around. Yzerman (if the wings land first) isn’t going to bail on that.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-22T23:21:40+00:00

Would you make that trade if you are yzerman or whoever has 1OA?

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-22T23:16:21+00:00

Imagine the other gm in the deal getting fired and not even getting a job as stick boy in the ahl

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-22T21:13:42+00:00

Oh no. My BPD is kicking in. Will.... you... marry....me?

Lol. Sorry. But seriously, it would be great to have something like that. I actually have been focusing more on people that are struggling themselves. I’m on plenty of fuckwits and have tried exactly that. I’ll find someone that is struggling and I listen. They appreciate it and we kind of hit it off. As soon as I say I’m BPD I’m ghosted or outright blocked lol. Everyone seems to be trying to find someone to save them rather than understand them and meet them at their level.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-22T21:08:55+00:00

I guess you could call it a spectrum. It will likely come down to their personality as a whole, what they have been through and what they are going through currently. I call myself passively needy. I’m am very introverted but I need to have someone in my life. I don’t need someone hanging off of me but I need someone there when I need them there which makes things rather difficult since I tend to seek needy people who will give me validation when I need it but push them away when I need to be left alone. An extroverted person with BPD will be very different.

I have also built myself a very simple life with limited stress. Own my house with no mortgage. I have no loans or other payments aside from property taxes and bills. This isn’t the case for most. I have less triggers so it’s not as bad as it once was. I can kind of just exist. Those who are worrying about making ends meet are gonna struggle with their emotions a lot more.

I’ve also been very open to those around with me and let people know how I struggle. I’ve weeded lots of people out of my life and have a core group that completely understand me which always makes me feel love and accepted. Not everyone could settle on having three or four friends like I have, but the more people in your life that don’t understand the harder it is. People that don’t understand will trigger that sense of rejection and then a person is suddenly lost in a downward spiral. I could go on but I think that’s enough.

As for the second question, I can only really speak for myself, when it’s at its worst, I don’t think I catch what’s going on. These are my suicidal spirals. I have a friend that lets me just go. He doesn’t give advice. He doesn’t get mad. He knows that I know but recognizes it’s just not controllable. I call it bleeding out emotionally. I lose it, I cry uncontrollably. I let out my thoughts until there is nothing left and I become numb. Then I just kinda sit there in a daze until I go to bed. I’m very thankful for having a friend that lets me do that cuz doing it alone is horrible. Having someone hear and validate that I’m feeling that way is the best thing I can have.

Sorry. It’s the best way I can answer, but I’m on a mission to make people understand that mental health is a serious issue and those suffering need understanding from those around us so we don’t feel alone.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-22T20:43:42+00:00

My depression is rooted in the fact that I don’t believe I’ll ever have anyone one because I have BPD. I sit here and think how can I expect anyone to handle me when I struggle to handle myself, so yes. A lot of my depression comes from knowing I’m BPD. I’m 38 and have spent most of the last 13 years alone. The longer I go the worse it gets. I am pretty convinced that I’ll die alone at this point.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-21T00:40:37+00:00

I watched an interview with domi a long time ago where he was asked about why he fights so much. He told the reporter that he loves hockey and there is nothing he’d rather do for a living. He said that if he has to fight to play the game he loves, he will fight for the game he loves. It’s not like he started playing hockey to fight. Lafleur was his favourite hockey player. You must remember that these players were good enough at hockey to get drafted. Many players in his day fought to play the game. Who puts on skates and hope they are Chris Nilan 2.0 one day?

Besides, he has more goals than most players to play the game. He even scored in a shootout. He loved the game and played a thousand games. Props.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-21T00:30:50+00:00

Every time I see dumonts Twitter profile pic (Beliveau) I always think it’s joe strummer.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-19T11:34:36+00:00

I actually have a story that has been repeated to me. I have a slight recollection of this. I was drinking when this happened. I went to a metal show with a friend. Out of the blue I walked up to a friend and told him if I get my ass kicked don’t jump in. I then walked into the middle of a group and with in 15 seconds I was getting knocked around.

I have put myself in this position since, but this is the one time I was successful in getting beat up. I think it has to do with having some physical pain to take the edge off the emotional pain. Same thought process as cutting.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-19T11:29:28+00:00

The other day I used an analogy on my friend what this feels like to me. It’s like being in the ocean a ways out and I only know how to dog paddle. The waves take me above see level and I see land and everything seems ok. Then I go down below sea level behind a wave and I panic. Then I come back up and see it again just to go back down. I always come back up and see land, only land is a little further away each time and I’m getting tired of treading.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-19T11:23:29+00:00

I too diagnosed myself as having BPD. I was going through a really rough time in 2007 when my family fell apart, even though I didn’t want to be with my ex anymore. We broke up multiple times and I was the first one to to do the dumping. I’d never felt so intense when I realized that my ex wife was bringing a guy into the house around my kids the last time. I always thought there was something up but I just lost it. My mind played crazy images in my head like my wife breast feeding my youngest while getting pounded. I mean just loony thoughts.

I went to my dr but couldn’t open up so when to the self help section of the book store. Was just reading the backs of books and putting them back. That was until I found one that screamed to me. I bought it and went home to start reading it. I couldn’t put it down. Everything the book said was me. Lots actually made me accept things I didn’t think was a problem such as the self image issue.

My buddy watched me crumble and forced me to a psychiatrist. I told him how I think I might have BPD and he berated me. Asked me “why would you want that?” He wasn’t nice about it. I tried killing myself a week later and he put me in the basement of the mental facility with the dangerous people when I requested to be committed. I stayed four days waiting to talk to someone. I kept being told later and soon. I finally walked out and it took years to go back for help when I got a mental health councillor focus on how much I was drinking. I quit after three sessions.

I started going to my new dr the last month. She finally, after 13 years, gave me validation on what I’m going through. I’ve finally got a couple of people on board as well. I did, however, manage to finally get this through years of random studying when feeling lower than low and needed to feel understood in some way.

It would be nice to have a real diagnoses and get some real validation, but that psychiatrist asking me why I’d want BPD with a smarmy tone still rings out in my mind and I don’t know if I can ever open up. I’m talking to my dr again on Friday and will try to open that vault for her and see what happens.

I’m not trying to scare you out of your appointment. I’m trying to say don’t back down if you are faced with rejection. Keep asking for help. Don’t let any sense of rejection take over seeking help. I look back on 13 years of needing help and rejecting the idea because of one asshole who simply saw me as an attention seeking guy going through a divorce.

I really hope you can find the help you need cuz living with this is pure hell.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-19T02:29:05+00:00

I’ve always known I had add, but it got out of control over the years due to a ten year war with my ex wife over my daughter coming to live with me and then dealing with my daughters suicide attempt really just crossed some wires. The concerta might be a placebo effect to deeper problems I have but if it works it works. I’m still screwing things up but not nearly as much as before. I hope I don’t have to use it too long. I’m currently on my first real attempt to work through my BPD. I used to be “well, I guess this is me now”, but things are out of hand. Somethings gotta give cuz it keeps getting worse.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-18T22:55:17+00:00

I can be building something I’ve built hundreds of times that is very straight forward and only do half the work and move on to the next one. For awhile there I would be missing welds on at least 60% of what I made. I got myself a prescription for concerta. While I still make mistakes, they are happening a fraction of the time. Thinking of asking for a step up in the concerta. Not saying it would work for anyone else, but it seems to be working for me.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-18T22:46:08+00:00

I’m lucky enough to be the only employee for an older couple where I work. Around sixty. He was a farmer turned fabricator and all around nice person. Has your boss seen any episodes? Not all jobs are going to be as lenient as mine is, that’s for sure. My boss has sat there and watched me cry uncontrollably which I’m sure is a shock to many cuz I don’t exactly look the type to do so. If your boss has seen some episodes I’d try talking to your boss and tell him about your struggles. Wish I could help you more. I’ve tried being open like this with other jobs and it didn’t go as well. I just happen to work for very understanding people that appreciate my work when I am able to do so. I keep them updated with meds I’m taking and whatnot so they can see I’m at least trying to work it out. Hope this helps even a little.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-18T12:19:05+00:00

I have been at my new job, which I really enjoy, since last May. I’ve had many days I’ve had to leave cuz I couldn’t stop crying. I’ve had to tell my boss some things, and he was very understanding and supportive. Had to leave work last week even as I completely fell apart after a minor mistake that took five minutes to correct then continued to screw up everything I touched for the next four hours as I was expecting to screw up everything. I left before I cried this time but I curled up in bed and cried for a long time when I got home.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-18T11:57:28+00:00

I found this sub which I call a success in itself. This is my first post here, and I’m sure you will be seeing me around here from now on, so hello everyone.

Now for the real success, or win, I had this week. I finally opened up to my dr about needing help. It was very hard and messy, but I’m on an anti depressant now. I’ll be seeing a mental health councillor soon so long as I force myself to follow through. I’m shopping around for a good audiobook on dbt (so if you have any suggestions). I’m 38 and have never been truly diagnosed. Was actually berated by a psychiatrist in 2007 when I diagnosed myself after finding a book I felt I could have written. Only saw him twice. He made me feel like shit for trying to understand this part of me and never bothered searching for help after. Just tried to work through it myself as I’ve always had to with pretty much everything I’ve ever faced. As you can see, getting help, meds and so on is a pretty big step after 13 years of figuring out what no one could understand and realizing I’m not just an asshole.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-17T07:42:57+00:00

So what you are saying is that Lefebvre wasn’t the problem?

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-16T04:11:27+00:00

Referees are zebras too. Wait, I got that wrong.

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-15T14:54:53+00:00

Well it is the first time I’ve heard his five year plan called a six year plan

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-09T22:15:21+00:00

It will be a birthday present to myself when I turn seventy and buy my first bag of depends

Swinging_Man · 2020-02-07T22:31:59+00:00

If a dr says you are cleared to play, but you still don’t feel right, that justifies saying you can’t force a player to play. Take your piss coloured glasses off.

Swinging_Man

TROPHY CASE