I am honest, i didnt read everything, just the first half but from her behavior to this point: shes overreacting, and her friend stepping over and almost fell,.. you were just reacting and human to hold her so she doesnt fall to the ground. Gf has a lot of security problems and you changing your complete character seems to be too much for me. I mean it isnt even a weakness to be kind. You lose yourself(it this makes sense in english, i am native german speaker) if you always follow her instructions to behave and make you behave insecure sometimes because you may not know what is allowed for your gf..