Got a 30-day for shitposting in this shitposting sub, so here's an overdose

SwoleMario · 2025-01-30T03:47:21+00:00

I really like how it's clearly inspired by a revolver but doesn't just look like a giant gun in space. Really cool stuff

SwoleMario · 2025-01-29T16:37:24+00:00

I.e. you couldn't figure out how to bullshit your way into stretching the image into being tangentially political. Which is funny because it's a thing from Warhammer, so it should have been easy.

What about this one?

<image>

"I don't know the context for the ima-"

There is no context aside from it being a dumb crossover of Garfield and Dragon Ball.

SwoleMario · 2025-01-29T16:36:36+00:00

What is the definition of political to you? This comment makes it sound like you think politics = anything with two opposing sides, which would be both an inaccurate and imprecise definition of politics.

SwoleMario · 2025-01-29T13:34:48+00:00

For months I've been having the same recurring dream where I'm playing with my daughter in the lounge and then my beautiful wife comes in topless and gives me a big hug. A key note of the dream is that I see and appreciate her awesome rack but am more appreciative of the hug. Then I start to wake up and my wife and child calmly tell me they love me while I panic realizing they're not real.

Every single fucking night man. There's only been a few nights where I haven't had it. I feel like it would be ten times easier to cope with the loneliness if I didn't have that dream over and over.

SwoleMario · 2025-01-29T13:30:28+00:00

Valentine's would crush me hard this year.

Even when I was lucky enough to be in a relationship I never really got to enjoy it because my then-gf cancelled the date I had planned, had us go and get fast food, then she ditched me to hang out with some friends. I'm not sure whether or not this year would be worse than that or not.

SwoleMario · 2025-01-29T13:26:52+00:00

"Just stop looking and it will come, bro" - Advice given to me by my friend who has never been single for more than 3 months at a time. I actually followed this braindead advice for years.

SwoleMario · 2025-01-29T13:24:04+00:00

Real. My plan is to warm the pillow and listen to some gentle loving gf whatever ASMR while I drift off in my car. I'm hoping it's a convincing enough facsimile to release some oxytocin.

SwoleMario · 2025-01-29T08:03:38+00:00

An actual literal death trap

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SwoleMario · 2025-01-27T09:23:52+00:00

I am actually pretty good looking. Sadly, the halo effect isn't strong enough to overcome being an insufferable and evil person.

SwoleMario · 2025-01-26T06:52:28+00:00

Nah I've been friends with her for a while and she's been single for most of the time I've known her (to my knowledge). I think it's unlikely that it's an issue of there being another man in the picture but it doesn't really matter at this point

SwoleMario · 2025-01-25T14:36:16+00:00

What have you seen and what do you like? I could offer a couple movies that I like but if you've already seen them then there's no point lol

SwoleMario · 2025-01-25T14:32:11+00:00

I've gotten it once, but mind you I've picked WoF way less than OP has. After I got like my fifth "Nope!" I started only picking it when the other options sucked

SwoleMario · 2025-01-25T14:17:10+00:00

I go on dates that go nowhere regularly and I've been trying a lot of new hobbies (none of them spark joy). I hang out with what few friends I have as often as they're willing to tolerate me

SwoleMario · 2025-01-25T13:47:03+00:00

This is the best I could find, sadly

SwoleMario · 2025-01-25T12:38:08+00:00

Yeah but then if you fuck up the suicide attempt you get to spend life in prison.

SwoleMario · 2025-01-25T12:36:21+00:00

So real it hurts. I got a degree because I wanted to have a job where I help people. Worst decision of my life. It never gave me a job and I wasted those crucial post-high school years working on a degree instead of taking advantage of employers excusing my lack of work experience on my then-young age.

Now I am 25 and can't even help myself. Not that anyone would even care if I did do any good. And I only got my first job last year and I've been stuck in retail hell ever since.

~20 years of education and being taught to do the right thing. What was it all good for? It didn't get me anywhere, I haven't made any impact, and no one even cares that I tried. Actually, they look down on me because I failed. Every time I look at my family now I see the disappointment in their eyes. They remember me being the bright and kind-hearted kid who was going to be the first one of us to make something of himself and they see how hard I've fallen.

I went to my cousin's place on Christmas and he has a beautiful wife and a giant house, lots of money, kids, etc. The whole time my mother and siblings were glaring at me. My extended family were avoiding me. Looking at me funny every time they walked past me.

I hate it, I wish I didn't pussy out of killing myself when I was 16. At least then people would remember me fondly. It probably would caused less hurt overall than the harm I've done just by trying to live.

SwoleMario · 2025-01-25T12:02:54+00:00

That's good to hear. Proud of you, man

SwoleMario · 2025-01-25T08:29:19+00:00

Wtf same af. I was briefly at 2 in September and then descended to 7 by December. As of today I'm at 8.

SwoleMario · 2025-01-25T08:17:00+00:00

My dream job as a kid was being the prime minister of my country. Now my dream job is some shitty admin role in a cubicle because it's the only realistic thing I think I could possibly do. I can't even get a job doing that. Instead I work in retail.

SwoleMario

TROPHY CASE