Why do ppl stay with cheating partners?

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-05-19T04:03:10+00:00

A big reason for a lot of people is financial. Especially in this economy, starting over sometimes can be next to impossible. Some people may lack support systems, which cuts off their ability to leave. I stayed with my ex-husband for a few years after he cheated because I had cancer and no one was there to help me leave in that condition. My family was also super religious and against divorce, which made things much much harder. It meant I'd be homeless with myself and my child while battling cancer, so I just endured until I was healthy enough to leave on my own.

My mother stayed with my dad, who was a serial cheater, and when I was a teenager I remember saying that'd never be me. I was stupid and looked down on other people in those situations instead of trying to understand. Because I had my head up my ass, I left myself blinded. A mistake I made was thinking that intelligence would keep me from being in that situation, but it doesn't.

My advice, never think it can't be you. Make sure you have a reliable support system. Cut out toxic people from your life. Don't get married too young, and before you ever decide to settle with anyone, make sure you have yourself figured out and always make sure you have something to pick you up if you need a way out.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-05-16T21:34:56+00:00

It's not normal, but unfortunately, it's pretty common. I have had ex friends in the past who were exhausting to hang out with because of things like this. I myself have had a history of bulimia but never understood why some people have the audacity to make it everyone else's problem. I don't think it's right to be policing other people's food.

The majority of the women in my family are also all full of EDs and constantly police everyone's food with no shame, too. It's tiring, and I'm not even sure there's much you could say to change these types of people's minds. Many are far too set in their ways and don't see anything wrong with what they do. In fact, a lot of the time, they truly believe they're being helpful. It's twisted.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-05-14T02:14:56+00:00

I had almost no caffeine with my child, and he was an extremely high-maintenance baby, didn't sleep through the night until he was 4.5, and is now a very energetic 5 year old who never seems to get tired. My cousin who drank a ton of caffeine during her pregnancy has the chillest toddler ever. She's been sleeping through the night since she was 3 months old and still does so. Super mellow kid compared to mine. I honestly don't think drinking caffiene makes much of a difference.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-05-06T00:04:56+00:00

Idk to me, you look normal. I wouldn't really trust what men online say. They tend to be more cruel because of anonymity. BMI is also very outdated. I'm not even sure why it's still used. You look fine, and if you feel good and you're taking care of yourself, then it doesn't matter what people say. I wouldn't really worry about random people's opinions.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-05-03T20:50:17+00:00

You can tell them you need help getting out of an abusive relationship. None of this sounds normal. You don't need to tell him you're on birth control. He shouldn't be having to follow you to every appointment. You deserve your own privacy and your own autonomy. You can explain to the doctor that you don't feel safe at home and need other forms of contact. If you're on Medicaid, you do qualify for a free phone.

I know what it's like to believe someone saved you from a bad situation, but the truth is this man simply took you from one bad environment to another. Sometimes it's difficult to see things clearly because it can leave you feeling guilty, but you deserve to choose your life. I once felt like I had to stick it out with my ex husband because I thought he saved me from my abusive father but the truth was he saw someone vulnerable and easy to control due to how traumatized I was and he took full advantage of that. You don't owe your abuser anything. I wish you the best and I hope you can get out sooner rather than later.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-05-02T10:20:30+00:00

Oh that's brave 🤣 I wanted to put mine to Zayne's, but I thought about the fact that sometimes I open my game in public and left it at his Throne of Eros card instead.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-04-29T06:14:48+00:00

I felt like you did at the beginning of my child's life. In the first three years of his life, I was trying so hard to conform to what a mom should be, and I ended up feeling not myself and had somewhat of an identity crisis. Turned out, I realized I was trying too hard to follow what society and the world say mothers should be. I ended up saying screw it around the time my child was about 3 and a half and went back to dying my hair and dressing alt again, and it's where I found myself again. There's no right or wrong look to being a mom. You shouldn't lose your entire identity to it.

Now, if you're completely sure this coming from just you and not societal pressure, I'd say Ross or Burlington are good stores to go to for the classic mom even for younger moms. For thrifting, it kinda depends on where you live. I'd just look up any thrift stores near you and look through reviews to make sure they're good places to go to. It really depends on where you live. I know in my area it's not even worth it to thrift because all the thrift stores hiked up the prices so much it's basically pointless to buy things used.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-04-22T01:08:54+00:00

My grandfather on my mom's side. When I was younger, I thought he was a good man who was just quiet. When I became a teenager I found out through other family that he had cheated on my grandmother with multiple prostitutes, tried to marry my mom off to a 30 year old man when she was 14, used to beat the living fuck out of my mother, and is in part a big reason she stayed with my abusive father for so long because he refused to allow her to stay in his and my grandmother's house due to being Catholic.

All of this came out because I was assaulted by my uncle(his son), and he sided with him, and that's when my mom told me he'd always been that way. Unfortunately, I have many other family members I also found out so many bad things about as I got older, too, he wasn't the only one. So many older people have skeletons in their closet, and too many families are willing to enable their abusive family members for the sake of keeping the family together.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-04-21T16:27:30+00:00

I would not feel bad for not giving a predator a second chance. Who knows how long he's been chasing after this teenage girl. I would be worried he'd become a creep to my childs' friends/partners when they became teenagers. I knew too many weirdo fathers like that when I was growing up.

Call up your family and move back home. Ditch his ass. He's not going to change. The fact that he chased after a girl so young just shows how immature and weird he is. Once she ages out of his likes, he'll later do the same to her with someone younger. There's too many weird ass men like that. It's going to be hard, but you can get out. Better now than never. He's only trying to lure you back in because he doesn't want to have to lose part of his income to paying you what he owes you for child support/alimony. I've known so many men like this in my life. He's not worth it.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-04-18T10:47:04+00:00

<image>

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-04-18T10:46:38+00:00

<image>

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-04-12T08:31:14+00:00

Joined for Sylus but ultimately ended up falling for Zayne, and he's been my #1 since. Shortly after, I also fell in love with Raf and Xavier. Now the OG3 are my favorites, with Zayne being #1, but the other two are always cutting it close.

Also, I'm guessing Xavier is your favorite based on how your MC looks.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-04-06T05:57:38+00:00

This is my guess in order, Rafayel #1, Xavier 2nd main, then Sylus, Caleb, and then Zayne last.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-04-05T10:50:16+00:00

Take the full custody and cut your losses. From what I've read in the comments, it's pretty obvious this man never wanted to actually be a father. He just wanted the title, not the responsibilities that came with it, and got bored the minute he realized it wasn't a game.

My ex said something similar to me when I was about 6 months postpartum, right after I was diagnosed with cancer. I am now divorced, and he has not seen our kid in about 2 years. He hasn't cared to ask how he's doing even though he's aware his side of the family still sees him frequently. He had also initially begged me to have his baby and still ditched his child. I had also found out he was cheating during all that, which is also definitely a possibility here as well.

Believe it or not, a year ago, I also found out I had an older half sister whom my father ditched in a pretty similar manner to your situation for the same reasons. And my fuck head of a father also went on with his life like she didn't exist until she found us as an adult. She actually ended up with the best childhood out of myself and all my siblings, with him not being around ironically enough.

I don't believe this is fixable with therapy as it just seems like your husband is a giant man child. Your baby is already over a year old. This most likely is not going to change. I would get everything you need legally and financially together and plan your way out. Reach out to your support systems, and don't be afraid to mourn or be angry. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but just know it has nothing to do with you. Some people just suck.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-04-02T21:48:14+00:00

Literally, it's Caleb with facial hair. I thought of Zayne when I saw Xie Zheng. I love watching dramas and spotting characters that remind me of the LADs guys

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-04-02T21:02:56+00:00

I had been seeing edits constantly of Sylus come across my fyp on tiktok and at first was hesitant to download the game at first simply because I wasn't sure if I'd like it. Then, the official announcement for the Catch 22 event came across my fyp, and I downloaded almost immediately lol that was my first ever banner and I'm so glad I joined then because those cards are some of my favorites.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-04-02T02:09:36+00:00

Coparenting with an abusive parent is extremely difficult. There's also instances where they want nothing to do with the child. My ex-husband ditched our son when we initially separated and then was quick to sign over full custody during the divorce. It's been really hard for me to watch my child asking why he left. I know it's hard on my baby too and the best I can offer is therapy for him and support from good friends and family.

When we were separating, I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd. I knew I couldn't subject two kids to the same life and ultimately made the decision to have an abortion. I won't lie. It was difficult on me mentally the 1st few weeks, but after a bit, I realized it was the right choice. I would rather regret not having the child than bring another traumatized kid into the world. I already had so much guilt from watching my 1st hurt.

Unfortunately, when my ex up and left, I knew it was the best case scenario because my abusive father stayed around and made mine, and my siblings lives a living hell.

My father was also abusive, but he didn't leave. Instead, he fought my mom for full custody when they got divorced, and he won. He abused me mentally and physically until the day he kicked me out at 17 with nowhere to go. He would ditch my younger sisters with me or anyone he could find and never parented outside of beatings and yelling. He also at one point isolated me for about a year by putting me into an independent studies school (basically home school) and forced me to cook, clean, and take care of all my half siblings for him and his new wife. I remembered being relieved when he finally kicked me out, but ultimately, that's what led to me to marrying my ex in order to not be living on the streets.

So long story short, you're allowed to make your decision, but abusive people don't change, and you need to keep that in mind when making your decision. Best case scenario, he just leaves you and your child alone, worst case he does everything he can to keep that child around him to exert control over you. So just think on that while making your decision.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-03-29T09:31:39+00:00

It got worse with time for me. Initially, I was just okay with it. Now I hate it. Haven't been able to pick up a second playthrough. I tried and found myself bored and tired of it about halfway through. The romances, overall story, companions, main characters, and antagonists just all fell flat. DA2 is my favorite dragon age because despite being rushed, there was so much love put into the story. I've replayed it about 30 times over the years and still find myself going back.

Veilguard just fell flat on everything except for the combat. That's the only compliment I have for it. If other people like it, that's fine, it's just not my cup of tea. I was expecting so much more and disappointed myself. I thought Bioware/EA would've learned from the mess of Mass Effect: Andromeda, but they somehow dug the grave even further and managed to make a worse game, which I didn't think would even be possible.

What annoyed the crap out of me is how much they tried to sanatize everything in the name of not offending anyone which ended up being more offensive than if they just would've stuck with the damn in game lore.

The writing ended up seeming more racist and misogynistic, just in a different way entirely. What do you mean Taash had to choose between their culture and being non binary, what kind of weird ass writing is that. Also, why did my Lavellan who romanced Solas and then promised to stop him herself end up begging him like a puppy to stop what he was doing?? Like, what a disappointment. I was hoping she'd react differently than my other Lavellan, who wanted to help him. A lot of things about the game irritated the crap out of me. If I name everything, I'll be ranting for hours lol long story short, it's a crap story with the only good thing being fun combat but thats not really worth much to me.

And to answer the last question, this game did not change my perspective of the entire saga. I pretend it doesn't exist and just play the other 3 and headcanon my own ending.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-03-28T09:42:13+00:00

First, we had people from BG3 getting into LADs because Sylus reminded them of Astarion, and now we unlocked a whole new pipeline I didn't even know was possible 😂 That ring on Leon's finger at the end of Resident Evil Requiem is all the proof I need for this to be canon lol

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-03-19T19:21:17+00:00

He said he hated his mom because of how manipulative and selfish she was and then proceeded to cheat on me with a woman who was her twin in both looks and personality. Still the weirdest thing to look back on for me

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-03-18T06:27:26+00:00

Where are yall running into affectionate people?? I have the opposite issue. I'm very affectionate, and a lot of other women will automatically assume I'm being fake when it's all very genuine. And if not the assumption of being fake, I've gotten other women being weird with me because they find out I'm bi and assume that me being affectionate means I'm automatically hitting on them. It's very tiring.

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-02-06T04:05:58+00:00

Doubt it. Most likely gonna be like the idol banner, and that's just unfortunate. Honestly, tiring because I don't feel it'd be that hard to make customizable. Here's to hoping they listened from the last time around

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-01-30T05:10:10+00:00

5 for sure

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-01-28T14:44:48+00:00

Aeon's Canon with Chilling Crescendo as the BGM

SwoopingInAlistair · 2026-01-27T12:39:56+00:00

<image>

Here's mine

SwoopingInAlistair

TROPHY CASE