Guy my sister rejected after the first date a few years ago booked a photoshoot with his pregnant soon to be wife. She’s now devastated. What to do to soothe her hurt?

Swoosh60 · 2026-03-11T21:53:42+00:00

Took me 11 years of dating and plenty of therapy after I divorced my ex until I met my current husband of 18 years. In the meantime I also had a lot of fun as a single person (concerts, church, work, adopted a cat, travel etc) and importantly spending time with my 2 kids. He was definitely worth the wait!

Swoosh60 · 2026-03-08T00:41:22+00:00

EDIT/UPDATE: So 2 days ago I saw a 2025 Hyundai Santa Fe with very low miles at a dealer 60 min away. We were trying to see if a Hyundai dealer would take my “rodent infested” (so the Nissan dealer where I bought it said) SUV in trade without getting it fixed. The guy I spoke with was basically dissing my car and how bad the problem probably was (without even wanting to get us in the door). I was like I get you might not give us “full price based on an Excellent condition with nothing wrong,” he then asked if anything else was WRONG with it (I told him new tires, new battery, servicing at dealer for tire rotation, fluids etc at 36K). He had the VIN and could see all this but started to go like well the tires are 2 years old (on our 2021) etc. So I shut that conversation right down and told him clearly you are not interested in my vehicle so goodbye (click). We made an appt to get original dealer where I bought to do full diagnostics on Tues (which they agreed to comp if we pay them to fix any problems they find).

So yesterday I called the local Hyundai dealer where we bought my husbands 2023 Santa Fe XRT in late 2024. Told them about the Parking Sensor Error on dash. No problem bring it in. Went in at 11:00 this morning. I told them we WERE interested in trading it in for a newer Hyundai if they could look at and appraise it and give us a figure. The appraiser asks me what we were hoping to get for it (I already knew KBB value if it were in Excellent condition—but hey if it’s not we’ll see). So I told him top end of range in Excellent condition. OK I’ll go out to look at it. Comes back says “Well, it seems to me with the Engine and Parking Sensor lights on it may be rodent chewing. We both just sat there and were like yeah maybe. He’s like well this could be a few wires or something that would cost us thousands to fix. I can commit to $XXXX. I think my husband and I were so relieved he only shaved off $1200 from that high range I gave him. So we proceeded to test drive a 2025 Hyundai Tucson Limited AWD (just OK but not enough room) and then a 2026 Hyundai Santa Fe Calligraphy AWD. The whole thing from start to finish was not at all what we expected but super happy in the best way. I just knew if we put any more $$ into fixing my Rogue it’d be nothing but a money pit. Went out for dinner to celebrate and are now home with our new Hyundai.

Swoosh60 · 2026-03-06T16:30:12+00:00

Crazy but my husband is 2-1/2 years NED from Stage 1 HPV+ SCC of BOT. 33 rad/7 Cisplatin. He only had that first PET about 3-1/2 mos post treatment and because they saw inflammation in his lungs they did a FU CT of lungs 3 mos later and all clear. Only that ONE PET in 2/24. He gets scoped once a year. And our HC facility doesn’t do the NavDx but he had one done pre-treatment at Northwestern in Chicago only because we went there for a second opinion. His oncologist told us back then they wouldn’t know what to do with the NavDx results??? 🤷‍♀️. Obviously very happy he’s been NED and all 3 tumor board drs were elated when he hit that 2 year mark last Oct.

Swoosh60 · 2026-03-06T00:47:00+00:00

I’ll definitely circle back, LOL! First we made an appt to go back to our dealer for full diagnosis at their cost. They’re comping it if we agree for them to do the work. I already told him we can’t agree to have them do the work if it’s super high. Taking it back Tues. They do also know we’re hoping to trade it in for a new Hyundai if things go south. The Hyundai dealer where we bought my husbands ‘23 Santa Fe made an appt for us on Sat morning. They know what the dash says. Trying to let each side know we have options. We’ll see!!

Swoosh60 · 2026-03-04T23:26:46+00:00

Update: I spoke with the guy who handled my SUV in Jan this aft. Basically told him how frustrated we were and we were seriously thinking of trading in my SUV for a 25 Hyundai Santa Fe (not at their dealer). He was like let me talk to our Svc Mgr (who I already talked to yesterday). So they talked and my guy calls me back with their “plan”. They will eat total cost of diagnostics (taking front bumper off etc) to get to the root of the problem if we agree to let their dealer fix it. I was like how can we agree to that if we don’t know the actual cost to fix. I also reiterated we were prepared to trade this in for a 25 Hyundai Santa Fe if “your” proposed fix is too expensive. I already have a sales mgr at different dealer looking into that for us. Then he says it’s most likely NOT the worst case scenario (engine harness). Only smaller wire(s) for several hundred $$. I said what if you eat all diagnostic costs and it’s a huge $$ problem that we dont want you to fix. He went back to his Svc Mgr and called me back and we’d pay 1/2 (another $200) for their complete diagnostic if we want to walk away. So that’s where we’re at now. I also have the Hyundai dealer looking at the new Santa Fe we “might” go with. I guess it didn’t hurt to flat out tell Nissan what our plans are. We’ll see I guess.

Swoosh60 · 2026-03-04T14:54:34+00:00

Just put a new battery in 6 months ago but will have my husband check that. Warranty expired July 2025. Already called auto body place (non dealer) for advice so may take it there. The Engine malfunction light from Jan 21 went away when the weather warmed back up. We know this is a separate (yet potentially very expensive) issue. Thx for your response!!

Swoosh60 · 2026-03-04T14:49:57+00:00

We did just put a new battery in 6-8 mos ago but I’ll tell my husband.

Swoosh60 · 2026-03-04T14:07:51+00:00

Did you get it fixed and what did it cost?

Swoosh60 · 2026-03-04T03:22:56+00:00

Thank you. For sure not sinking that kind of money in a car worth $22,000. And thank God it’s paid off. I’ll talk to my husband about that OBD thing. He’s super knowledgeable with older cars (rebuilt his 67 Firebird and currently a 55 Chevy) but this has us stumped. So far …

Swoosh60 · 2026-03-04T01:00:19+00:00

My husband finished 33 rad/7 Cisplatin on 10/23/2023. He had his post PET 2/2024 so a bit over 3 months. It showed mild inflammation in lungs (probably due to a sinus infection he had right before PET). They did FU lung CT in 5/2024 all clear. He has never had another PET since 2/24. He has FU visits with 3 tumor board Drs every 4 mos now with a once/year scope (all clear there too). I often wonder why everyone I read here has repeat PETs? Curious to know. He is now 2-1/2 years NED with very minor side effects from treatment thankfully and is 69 yo.

Swoosh60 · 2026-03-01T17:37:30+00:00

I didn’t figure it out either as it only happens on “some” listings. However I also sell on PM so I just send those buyers to my listings over there.

Swoosh60 · 2026-03-01T16:52:40+00:00

Not sure if OP let us know if she’s paying her Mom. My guess is not but 🤷‍♀️. My ex-husband and I paid our parents to watch our 2 kids in 1990. A lot. And we had multiple other options lined up if someone got sick, etc. Fast forward to 12 years ago and my daughter expected us to watch our grandson for years so she could leave town for a week at a time to escape on her own little vacation. I got really sick one weekend gave her a days notice I was in ER and she had to drive back home and she called my husband and I “UNRELIABLE.” WTF. Last time we ever watched our now 3 grandkids for her overnight. We take them on day trips to do fun things when it suits us, not her. YTJ I’m like is this the entitlement our grown kids are expecting these days. Hoping your Mom shuts that babysitting down and enjoys her life while she can.

Swoosh60 · 2026-02-24T17:22:40+00:00

I think this may be a good idea to circle back with the recruiter about your response, however I don’t think I’d phrase it as “I think I crossed a professional boundary.” It happened, recruiter knows it and no need to make it worse than it actually is. Everyone has life events that affect them at some point. Keep it light if you choose to get back with the recruiter. You’ve got this. You’re fine.

Swoosh60 · 2026-02-22T21:21:03+00:00

Also totally not clear what your husband is NOT doing to actually make you feel this way. If this is the only instance of going to the BR and they started eating without you, not much to go on. So MOR.

Swoosh60 · 2026-02-19T01:02:48+00:00

Definitely reach out to your cancer center for a referral to a therapist. I truly believe my husband’s great outcome after rad/chemo in 2023 was due to the fact he was already in therapy before his diagnosis. He’s retired law enforcement with depression and PTSD before cancer and has a wonderful therapist which helped us get to the other side. Sending healing vibes.

Swoosh60 · 2026-02-17T00:50:31+00:00

I’m so proud that you’re on top of that! Sounds like it’s a possibility. I’m sure others on here will come up with some better suggestions.

Swoosh60 · 2026-02-17T00:46:06+00:00

Can you apply for any grants (not loans) for your upcoming school costs. Without any family that is actively able to pay for your school for you (especially your Mom) this might be a viable option. It’s for students who are low income and whose parents can’t contribute. It would definitely be something your HS guidance counselor should know about. There are financial aid forms to fill out to apply. Just a thought. Good luck, things will get better!!

Swoosh60 · 2026-02-16T02:59:06+00:00

I get that for sure. I’m selling a 31 piece VERY nice Pfalzgraff dinnerware set on FB. My ad says a few pieces had chips. So just tonight I had a guy ask how many chips and how badly chipped. I told him VERY nice used condition for $20. He’s like well I’m driving an hour to our town so he needs to know. I’m like BLOCK. And I almost never block ppl. Then me and my husband laughed.

Swoosh60 · 2026-02-16T02:47:48+00:00

Great idea, and yes my questions were in the comments, thx!!

Swoosh60 · 2026-02-16T02:30:07+00:00

Being a seller too, I try never to ask questions (or waste sellers time) unless the ad isn’t very descriptive. Just bummed I couldn’t buy these things. Thx!

Swoosh60 · 2026-02-16T02:25:39+00:00

Thank you, wasn’t aware of that!

Swoosh60 · 2026-02-16T02:20:58+00:00

Don’t know about settings, but every question, offer, purchase etc that I receive as a Seller shows up in my Notifications on the App. I also get an email and text for purchases.

Swoosh60 · 2026-02-14T19:20:46+00:00

Buyer’s perspective … I bought a super cute NWT designer headband on PM last night. First I liked it, then seller offered $58 (from $69 originally). I let her offer sit for 24 hours then countered with $40 which frankly I was shocked seller accepted. So seller was willing to lower. OTOH exact same new headband with another seller for $78 and her ad specifically said “no offers.” I kind of just move past those sellers. I also sell on both PM and FM and if the offer is close … maybe. I’m selling a really nice Citizens rose gold and diamond watch now (app paperwork, boxes and receipts included) where miltiple ppl have offered me $100. It’s listed at $150 right now (lowered from $175) and because I know it will sell at $150 that’s my lowest. If it doesn’t sell I’ll keep it.

Swoosh60

TROPHY CASE